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phdofappliedwizardry-deactivate

Although I am not a necromancer and despise the practice I must admit that this is a most ridiculous statement.

porterr-robinson

v.2

tendebill

[part 1] [part 2]

rocky learns about the Denmark incident :]

theonion

In a statement that mourned “the extinguishing of one of the league’s oldest and most infernal lights,” the Washington Wizards announced Tuesday that the organization’s founding wizard, Osric the Baleful, had died at age 682, bringing to an end a centuries-long career in necromancy, prophecy, and NBA ownership.

Osric’s 1997 acquisition of the team then known as the Bullets is said to have taken place after an omen from the entrails of a hanged usurer convinced him that possession of a middling sports franchise would grant him an inexhaustible river of mortal anguish on which to float into eternity. Osric emerged from his crypt during a lightning storm and presented the team’s owners with a yellowed parchment granting him “full dominion over basketball in the District of Columbia, together with all courts, revenues, and towering gamesmen, who are hereby subject to permanent indentureship.” Before the owners could protest, the wizard had already turned them into wooden pestles.

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phantomrose96

Something just a little bit funny about Bradley showing up shredded to the nines to take care of the Greed situation. Yeah sorry about this weird kidnapping fiasco Alphonse but don’t worry President Chad Washington is here to take care of it

phantomrose96

Mustang could not become Fuhrer immediately after Bradley because if he had, then the whole world would bring into question whether Amestris takes its politics seriously or if it just hands dictatorial power to the most handsome man anyone can find within electing distance of Central HQ

byjove

ohhhh now I understand why the German exchange student I met in high school was enjoying North Carolina so wholeheartedly

userfish

baseball fights are better than hockey fights because everyone expects a fight in hockey. baseball fights are some real hater shit

userfish

ABSOLUTELY COMICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

amygdalae

Strangers see my centipede tattoo and love to share their personal stories abt getting bitten by one on vacation etc. and it's awesome actually it comes out of them like a compulsion. I feel like a collector of centipede stories. Every new anecdote instills more dark power into my tattoo I think

lumsketch

Happy make a terrible comic day

transfemininomenon

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

oneheadtoanother

toskarin

hey man I'm the torturer [shaking your hand and detecting apprehension] that just means it's my job to torture people [visibly uncomfortable] there are lots of people like me

#Severian #shadow of the torturer

yaoiblackmold

Every vampire is all "oh drinking blood is better than any food, drugs, even sex" but I don't even believe them because all of them were literally made before the invention of really good drugs and before we got all the nice foods from the new world, so I don't trust any of their opinions. Lestat has never ate a potato and Armand hasn't ever even tasted tomaotes. The only guy I trust is Daniel Molloy who has probably tried every drug on earth, has definitely ate nice food and would be a valid judge on how good drinking blood really is.