мяу мяу

30-something. Employed by day, everything else by night. My opinions are rubbish. You’ve been warned.

[wonderful-emoji]

scorpion hybrid moodboard

[gus-ttshowbiz]

[vidibit]

Mutuals who I have hardly spoken with but we instead communicate through silently liking and reblogging each other's posts... I hope you're all having a lovely day ✨

[ghostoffuturespast]

[thesnailfromouterspace]

[octavio-world]

reblog to survive

[lamignonette]

[onewordshy]

Honestly, media literacy is so dead these days that I think a lot of y'all WOULD be fooled by the rocks that she's got. Like I could absolutely see people refusing to believe that she's still Jenny from the block just because she used to have a little but now she has a lot, completely ignoring the fact that no matter where she goes, she knows where she came from (the Bronx). It's just sad.

[scorpion-squadron]

Ugh I identified a current Pattern in my behavior which I would like to change. I suspect this undesirable pattern is due to my breakup, but here we go. The pattern:

I want to feel {lovable, desirable, worthy, those kinds of things}. Don't we all? So, I write to {a man I have an ambiguous relationship with}. At first its just fun!! I just want nice+healthy friendships with them yay! But uh oh, my stupid brain: it tries to find ways to interpret things romantically. Like "wow, they say/do this, that must mean something". No! It doesn't mean anything T___T. This thought process almost feels intrusive at this point. Anyway, so then when it is my turn to react, I start to feel way more pressure than there ought to be for a friendly encounter, which in turn makes me feel more insecure. Then, when he doesn't reply fast enough, I get upset and feel rejected. Sensitivity -> Fear of Rejection -> Pressure -> Sensitivity -> Fear of Rejection ->Pressure. This ruins the fun+wholesome thing it should be! At first I thought this was just a K thing, since my brain is still trying to make the jump from unhealthy to healthy friendship, if he's willing (which, idk if he is y'all). But today I realized its a bigger pattern, because I'm seeing it happen with now friend-of-a-friend-lives-abroad-guy T :(. I'd say -- a tiny bit -- I also have this with this girl L, but we don't really text.

Maybe this behavior is pretty typical, since people have "rebounds" and stuff but... I'm annoyed because I feel like my feelings are keeping me from being Normal and having Healthy friendships with people. It also makes me feel like such an asshole to the person on the recieving end? I pray to god they are oblivious (most likely) and I can keep my own mess in my own house, but jfc. It makes me feel so gross. It makes me want to flee to the forest. Honestly, I think I just need time to be a little lonely+alone after a 6+ year breakup.

Besides these maybe-friendships, I am DEFINITELY not letting anybody else in atm.

[discreetwithabellyring-deactiva]

https://thenewinquiry.com/blog/social-media-is-not-self-expression/

[rainformation]

formative years? aren’t they all?

[scoutology]

#crysobbing

[monster2003]

I’m putting in my too weak notice.

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[beemovieerotica]

tumblr user 1: you guys should drink more plain water, it's good for you

tumblr user 2: actually you can drink whatever you want all the time

tumblr user 3: yee and water is icky :(

tumblr user 4: I literally can't drink plain water as I'll instantly start throwing up, some people's bodies simply can't process it, you can't make blanket statements about what's good or not good for someone else's digestive system

tumblr user 5: ooouugh.. tony the tiger hairy armpits 😩

[kjscottwrites]

[consolecadet]

These remind me of this drawing by Franz Kafka from the 1900s. We've been feeling this way for a long time.

[smol-civet]

prev, i'm sure you mean my guy Leonid Pasternak

[scorpion-squadron]

At least it doesnt matter that I look like a sickly victorian boy right now, since I'm not trying to date, anyway. I can be a bit ugly while I navigate this fucking phase of my life. I'll look better and healthier some time in the future... sighs.

[scorpion-squadron]

Why am I so bloody bad at getting enough calories jfc i hate this SO MUCH.