WASH U SOUL @scoutdolphin - Tumblr Blog

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

justatiredlittlesnail

ilovecoelacanths

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks dont mine the deep’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

softdog

i started up destiny 2 yesterday and burst into tears because i forgot i had set my steam name to reeses penis butter cups but instead of censoring penis

it censored the butt in butter

this game is rated M

squeakitties

reeses penis FUCKer cups

phantomrose96

You can be talking to someone and she'll be like, "Oh I made a silly mistake. Women don't deserve voting rights teehee." And you'll be like, "What." And she'll be like, "Oh I'm sorry! That must sound so bad out of context. No it's this Tiktok meme where, if you're a girl and you do something dumb, you say 'Women don't deserve voting rights teehee.'"

And you'll be like, "That sounds bad." And she'll be like, "No no. It's totally not that bad. It's just a meme. Men say it too. Like if a man does something silly he'll be like, 'I am like those women who do not deserve to vote.'" And you'll be like, "Does that make it better?" And she'll be like, "Well there was one guy who tried to make 'Men shouldn't vote' a popular meme. But it never caught on and also he got yelled at a lot."

And then you drop it there because like, you're harshing the vibe.

wake-meme-up-inside

God this makes me think of this screenshot:

"it minimizes you as a person" really wraps up my entire discomfort with the whole "oh but i'm just a girl" thing when used in most situations.

aries-of-spades

transfemgabriellamontez

No Doubt spinning in their graves hearing people overuse “I’m just a girl”… and they’re not even dead yet!

syrenki

i secretly want a little bit more of everything all the time

palmer

I’m going to the grocery store does anyone want to sublet my apartment for 45 minutes

jurynullification

How much

palmer

Only 3400

jurynullification

hot damn 🏃‍♂️ cmon guys lets go 🏃‍♂️🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🧞‍♀️

palmer

ok I’m back you and your boyfriend and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your djinn can go

ichorandpride

hot take: i fr hope they add bazelgeuse to MHWilds without any warning like they did with Rise

i need new players to experience the horror of suddenly hearing a ww2 style theme song creeping up with tense strings and a loud ass roar out of nowhere before being divebombed by a B-52 stealth bomber every single time youre in a battle with a different monster

i need new players to experience the dread of seeing him on the same map as them, to have to stock up on dung pods solely for him, for having to constantly fight two monsters at once because bazel decided he was going to be the hero

i need new players to sigh and slowly fall in love with him because he's a bastard but he's YOUR bastard goddamn it

rad-roche

shadows of doubt, the detective sim, just added a mode where a snail spawns in the city and chases you down and if it touches you, you die. look at the fucking art for this

rad-roche

Folks around here took to calling the skyscrapers of the finance district the headstones, because if you find yourself at the bottom you're as good as dead. I leered up at them and they did nothing back. I knew three things about her. She was a brunette, she was dead, and I was the only person in the world that had to care. It had the window dressing of a crime of passion, but was too blunt and loveless in its execthe snail. Shit. The snail is here. Fuck. Where are my car keys. The snail. The snail. Shit. The snail.

aromanticduck

No, I would not steal a car. However, if I had the ability to create a copy of someone's car that I could have for free while the other person retained their original car, I would definitely do that.

orcboxer

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

sneebertdeebert

Sneebert Deebert

orcboxer

fantashic

I think every year they should replace the most used emoji with something basically no one would use.

"Congrats to the smile emoji for being the most popular one! It will now subsequently be replaced by a radiator emoji"

"In a shocking turn - beating out both the cry laughing AND the pink heart emoji - the green heart emoji is this year's winner! It will now be removed and in its place will be an emoji of a man lost in a parking lot"

This would accomplish nothing and make the world worse