Well fuck
YOU ARE THE REASON
The Bowery Presents

@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Discoholic 🪩

shark vs the universe

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Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins

gracie abrams
Sade Olutola
Show & Tell
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
Keni
seen from Germany
seen from Kuwait
seen from United States

seen from Croatia
seen from Spain

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Belgium

seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Colombia
seen from United States
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seen from T1

seen from United States
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seen from United States
@screaming-for-niam
Well fuck
“Vicious” Leopard seal tries to keep national geographic photographer alive by feeding him penguins.
Anxiety: look out me: for what Anxiety: look out
niallhoran’s instagram activity 12/02/17
Okay but try not to think about all of the boys snuggling together on the tour bus late at night on their first ever tour in America, and they’re all cozy and warm together and Liam is somehow everyone’s pillow and Niall is snoring like an old man with his legs sprawled over half of them and Zayn is all grumbly because he’s being smushed and Harry is in the middle for warmth because he’s still the baby and if Louis’s hand drifts to hold That Spot on Harry’s waist while they’re sleeping well then that’s nobody’s business
Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move
Gotta try it
I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.
Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.
Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”
I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.
Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.
Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.
I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.
I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.
Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.
WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA
It’s called the Murder Strut.
IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!
A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.
This post went from Scientific to Feminist to Educational to HILARIOUS!
#make men get the fuck out of the way 2k17
I do this now. Stand my ground. Men look flabberghasted that i wont move out of the way. The most annoying thing is when i’m walking along holding Superpups hand (he’s 2.5 years old), and people walk right up to us and expect to go between us… so for me to let go of my toddlers hand for the sake of them. One person i actually had to put my free hand out and onto their chest to block the person to stop before they ploughed into us.
This last one gets me the worst, you move to a side as much as is safe without throwing a child onto the road or into a wall and that means you are usually centrish in the path, there is still room on one side and they expect you to let go of a kid to facilitate them rather than moving slightly to the side!
WJAT THE FUCK IS THIS
Reblog if you respect fanfiction writers and believe a fandom would be nothing without them.
IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.
You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.
Here is an example video
Reblog to literally save a life
I’ve done this. I’m alive because of this.
My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her. She had passed out in her room and locked the door. He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex. He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”. He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge. I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking. He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”. Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report. Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me. Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison. The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen.
This was 14 years ago.
Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can. The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:
“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.” I said I want extra mushrooms.
“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.” I said I want onions.
She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.
They’ve heard this sort of coded call before. They’re trained for it. They will understand what you’re saying. Order the pizza.
Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.
Reblog to save a life
I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
“I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?”
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
Physically I’m fine… Emotionally I’m bruised
I hung a sign on my door tonight reading
I have the flu! I don’t want to infect any little monsters! So please help yourself!
with an arrow pointing to the candy bucket next to the door.
So far three separate small children have yelled PLEASE FEEL BETTER at me through my door. Also one of them told what was clearly his younger brother “Take ONLY ONE, don’t be greedy, the Great Pumpkin can see you.”
Faith in the world: restored.
Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.
I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.
*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about
*leans over and whispers back* Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst
consider the coconut
this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”
i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.
listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them
This post is a journey
1 Reblog = 1 Respect
I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.
Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!
Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous
Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.
I MEAN where’s the lie
Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.
One Direction Q&A Ustream x
lets take a trip down memory lane with the amazing journey that louis and liam took us on when some article came out about them “fighting” on stage.
Louis fixing his fringe in selfies
UMM….I HATE HIM SO MUCH