I Wont Hold Back

I will write until the day I die •This be a writers blog•

[gnossienne]

Anne Carson, Sublimes

[treeriver]

So I Returned To The Beach

My love,  Every time I blink,  I bring you right back the brink of me feeling you.  To the memory of what you forever have meant to me.  When I focus my mind, I can move to your melodies,  Which now are nothing more than a soundtrack to my dreams.

I’m left with a loop of you smiling at the beach where we met.  You were dancing in the sand that day.  You were dancing in the sun that day.  You were dancing in my soul that day.

Life laughs at me loudly knowing I no longer have a choice  But to wait as the weight of my heart pulls me down,  Deep into the ocean of the songs that we shared.  The music is still stuck in my head, my love.

So I returned to the beach,  In hopes of receiving any seemingly seeable semblance of you.

The tide is out,  My eyes are dry,  And here in the salty spray of the wind,  I look forward to every blink that retrieves you.

[unachicasola28]

Aún recuerdo la primera vez que hablamos y sigo pensando que fue más que una simple casualidad

Unachicasola28 (via unachicasola28)

[poetryandthesea]

If you ever asked me how many times you crossed my mind or how often I thought of you, the only right thing to answer would be “just once”.

// but little would you know that you simply never left my mind j.d.m. (via poetryandthesea)

[inspiredink]

Wanderbird Writer's Resources. Tips, advice, and inspiration for the Experimental Writer.

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[screaming-rabble]

It isn't someone that you can hate It isn't someone you're aloud to love Please forgive me For I do not know what I have done

Screaming Rabble

[screaming-rabble]

Aching by Screaming Rabble

My skin feels wrong, it doesn’t feel like it belongs to me. Every time I run my cold fingertips over it I can’t grasp the fact that it does indeed belong to me. My lips feel rough and course. They’re peeling I know they are and instead of doing something to prevent it I pull off the skin eagerly and relish in the light sting it brings. I scratch pieces of my scalp off and take pride in how big the chunks underneath my fingernails can get. An explanation as to how I ended up this way eludes me. However I am fully aware of the destination this journey has brought me too. Willpower alone is what keeps me from slicing up the skin that incases me just to watch it bleed. There is a small part of me that warns me that this is what insanity feels like, but I stopped listening to it long ago. Even after staring at my own reflection for hours will I be able to remember what I look like? My every move feels rehearsed and it leaves me to wonder why I feel bruised all over. What it is exactly that hurts has become as clear as my now foggy train of thought. I feel like a stranger put on auto pilot in someone else’s body. I can only sometimes comprehend what that means exactly. I hope that pain never goes away. It’s my only reminder that I am awake and this is all happening in some shape or form it is all happening, I know it is, I can feel it through the aching.

[screaming-rabble]

If I am to stay then I will get my own way

Screaming Rabble

[screaming-rabble]

Best Time Of Our Lives by Screaming Rabble

This is it for me, from now on it’ll be nothing but empty. And even now, even then, even when I feel as if I’d rather be burned alive then live out today. In the future I will look back at this time and pine for it. I’ll do nothing but wish I could go back to those days.

Days when I didn’t know how hard it would be to not have a happy place. Days when I had more than I ever cared to admit. Doing what I do now kills me, and drains me completely. So how am I expected to fair well when it only gets harder from here?

My happiest days have ended, did end many years ago. But as I progress my happiest days will always seem like the ones that have passed. And no matter how much I am lacking now, even I couldn’t have seen that the worst was yet to come.

When it does come all I’ll be able to do is wait as it only becomes more and more petrifying than I ever thought possible.

[screaming-rabble]

My Sweetest Billionth Heart by Screaming Rabble

I’ll say whatever you need to hear. Let me deep inside your heart and tell me everything. I promise I’ll keep it all a secret. Every exchange and glance will be all for just us. No one else has to know, no one else needs to know. I’ll laugh at your jokes and agree with the topics nearest to your heart. When you want my opinion I will give it to you, full and honest. I’ll always sound honest for you.

When the time comes for you to learn the topics nearest to my heart, I will speak of them vividly, paint you the prettiest of words, and make you feel as if I would only speak so earnestly in your presence. If we make it far enough I will tell you about my darkest days before I met you, and you will tell me yours. I will reassure you of your greatness and you will convince me of mine.

But when the time comes. And all is said and done, don’t expect me to wait for you. If you don’t fit, if your heart acquires extra effort from me (which it will), or when you begin to bore me…. before you know it, I’ll be gone.

Leaving no trace of my affections. Others will say you imagined the whole thing, I will say you imagined the whole thing. Your absence will be a breath of fresh air, a weight off my chest, and a burden off my shoulders. And while our time was short, you will always remember me. But I will forget who you think you are.

I love you my sweetest billionth heart.