sweet nothings sweet nothings sweet nothings

[punkconcert]

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

[somewhat-honest-abe]

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

[gh0sthoodie]

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

[vulpeculavolans]

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast. 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.  

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now - let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all! 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

[whatsitnot]

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[screamingaaaaa]

o god the driving bit tho, that’s me yikes

this is why i will never drive for rideshares

[auditionwtf-blog]

Fun Fact: A group of sopranos is called a bloodbath.

[screamingaaaaa]

wOOOF attacked

[screamingaaaaa]

every once in a while i’m reminded that selling used panties is a lucrative gig

i know my basement is rotted bc dogs always greet me by sniffing my crotch first

not that i’m seriously considering offering my goodies to the market but

if it’d actually pay my bills

[as-per-usual]

My instagram DMs are now a dumpster fire of people sending me photos of their own two-toilet encounters, and I have no one but myself to blame BOOK | Webtoon | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter

[screamingaaaaa]

tag someone you’d use this bathroom with 8)

[thatadhdfeel]

that adult adhd feel when you are standing around adjacent to a school mom conversation and you’re not really invited but one of them keeps going on and on about her child who is literally you as a child and you’re contemplating whether to out yourself as an eavesdropper and explain what’s going on in this poor kid’s lil noggin, or whether you’re just going to cough through the phrase “inattentive type” and hope they get the idea.

[screamingaaaaa]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[screamingaaaaa]

I have too many problems to function; I really, truly, profoundly CANNOT give a fuck whether or not people perceive me as "normal" or "with it". I look mentally ill to you? GOOD, because I fucking AM.

[thatadhdfeel]

when the stimulants wear off and your brain starts stomping its feet like a petulant child, screaming “WHY DOES THE PARTY EVER HAVE TO END” and lighting everything on fire. causing you to lash out at everyone nearby and feel violently depressed for no reason.

[thatadhdfeel]

tadhdfw you’re constantly finding out that that thing you’ve been doing your whole life is actually a part of adhd even though you’ve been told your whole life it’s just because you’re [insert negative adjective here]

[screamingaaaaa]

I CANNOT KEEP THINGS ORGANIZED FOR SHIT

i gloss over/lose important documents and miss deadlines

i have no clue how to “work smart”

i struggle with keeping a consistent schedule

i make impulsive decisions without thinking them through

all these unpredictable things about me has cost me friendships and opportunities; my mom called me a “waste maker” as a kid

knowing this is all a part of adhd makes me feel so much better, though all these still cause me major problems in life

[thatadhdfeel]

your hyperfixations are not a waste. your hyperfixations are not irrelevant.

this isn’t one of these ‘you’re all valid’ posts, either, i have actual thoughts on this. 

my hyperfixations on different musicians/bands taught me about all types of music and inspired my own musicianship. scrolling through tumblr’s tags for whatever my hyperfixation was years ago introduced me to gifmaking and edits, and by extension, graphic design. reading fanfiction for my hyperfixations helped me improve my own writing, whether that was fanwork or just a normal essay for school. i started using after effects because i wanted to improve my AMVs/edits that i did for, guess what, my hyperfixations. my cartoon and anime hyperfixations taught me the principles of animation without me even knowing the technical names until years later.

i do motion design now. today, my coworker at my internship expressed how impressed he was with my character animation work [vector animation, with rigs and such in after effects]. thing is, i haven’t even been character animating like this for a long time - i only learned the plugin our studio uses this year. but for the most part, ‘sides from learning to keyframe a walk cycle, the knowledge of how a character moves and how to drive expression into said movement was already there from hours upon hours of binging cartoons and anime. i’m also doing freelance for big name companies now, too, because using after effects for my AMVs taught me so much about the program that i pretty much know it inside out by now.

i know that this happens to a lot of people with fandom culture in general, but i don’t think it would have affected me as strongly as it would if these were just mild interests. i don’t think i need to explain how a hyperfixation feels to you guys. i don’t know if i can, necessarily, other than in moments: the way i break out into a smile when i see an edit of my favorite characters, the giddiness of coming across amazing art, and the absolute emotional rush that comes along with new content…

point is:

throw your passion into the things you love. you will find something amazing delivered back to you.

[screamingaaaaa]

case in point: my dumbass a capella covers of rupaul’s drag race songs

[myautisticpov]

A Quick Note on Social Skills for Autistic Men, From an Autistic Woman

It’s not fair that we have to conform to NT social standards. It’s really not. It sucks and it’s hard work.

In most situations, I will nod my head and say that NTs just need to be more accepting and get over it.

The big exception I have, however, is when autistic men accidentally act in a threatening manner towards women.

Look, I’m an autistic woman and even I, knowing full well what’s going on, still get terrified sometimes. So I’ve just put together the three things autistic men do that immediately set off the red alert in my brain, with some quick tips for avoiding appearing threatening in ways that shouldn’t upset your autism.

(Side note: To be honest, a lot of this is applicable across all genders and interactions, but women get more leeway before their behaviour is seen as threatening. When other women do these things, I shrug them off, or tell them to knock it off. When men do them, I freeze up and panic. There is a cultural bias to see men as more threatening.

And, to be honest, that red alert in my brain is essential to my survival, and that’s true for a lot of women. In the past, when I haven’t listened to the red alert, and have tried to give the benefit of the doubt, I have ended up in some very bad situations. It’s unfortunate that ND behaviours get tied up in red flag behaviours, but it doesn’t make them any less red flag behaviours and women reacting as such is important to them as a survival skill.)

If You Find Out Personal Contact Information By Accident, You’re Not Allowed to Use it

Say you’re on a work night out and you and a co-worker share a taxi home. She gets out and walks to her house before the taxi pulls away to take you home. You now know where she lives.

She hasn’t given you that information. She hasn’t extended an invitation for you to call around. So don’t. In anything short of an emergency situation (e.g. she doesn’t show up for work and no one can contact her), you act as if you don’t have that information.

Similarly, if you happen to come across her phone number or personal email, without her having given it to you, don’t use it. Or start using it sparingly, and open with “Hey, it’s [your name]. I got your number from [X] because I needed to ask you [Y]. If you’d rather I contact you in another way, or just would have preferred it if I had I waited until we saw each other in person, please let me know.”

If she doesn’t respond, don’t send another message. Just let it go.

Showing up uninvited to someone’s house (when they haven’t given you an open invitation to call around whenever) or using personal contact information they haven’t given you makes you seem like a stalker. And showing up at her house especially violates her feeling of safety.

Step Back and Don’t Block Exits

Look, we all get excited when we infodump. We all get stimmy and have trouble regulating the volume of our voices.

Similarly, we all start frantically stimming when we get frustrated.

Both of these can be terrifying to be on the other end of, but it’s very simple to reduce the risk of the person you’re talking to feeling afraid.

Take a good step back. I mean it. A decent one. If you’re too far away for them to hear, they will step closer to you. Give them breathing room.

Don’t stand in doorways. Seriously, just try to be mindful of doorways. This happens all of the time and nothing makes me feel more trapped.

In fact, be mindful of any exit and avoid standing between her and it. She probably won’t run away, but cutting off the possibility will make her more likely to panic.

Be Upfront With Your Romantic Intentions or Lack Thereof

Look, the majority of autistic people cannot flirt. I know I can’t. So it can be difficult for women to realise that you’re trying to flirt with them if you’re not just upfront about it. And, to be honest, not being upfront can put you squarely in the “friend-zone zone”, where a woman gets anxious because she thinks that you think that you’re in the friend-zone and she has no clue how to approach that, or reject you concretely when you’re not being upfront about your intentions.

Yes, getting hurt sucks. But if you’re trying to get with a girl, for the love of Gandalf, just tell her. Do it casually and respect her right to say no, but tell her.

“Hey, so, I kind of like you and was wondering if you wanted to go on a date. But if not, that’s cool, I just thought I’d ask.”

If she says no, just keep it casual. Even if you feel like your heart just got stomped into tiny pieces, smile and say “Alright, that’s cool. I just thought I’d ask.”

Now, if you have no romantic interest in her, you should also try to make that clear. When autistic people get overenthusiastic about things, we can often accidentally send flirting signals. This can quickly bring about the problem of the friend-zone zone.

I actually don’t have a good suggestion for that one. Unless you’re not into girls and feel comfortable enough to tell her. But you should be aware that it can be a problem.

Okay, these were just the ones off the top of my head. Followers, feel free to add others.

I do get that this feels shitty. And I have gone back and forth about whether or not to make a post like this, because I get just how awful being told to stop ND traits can be. But I’m not telling you to stop, I’m giving you work arounds, because I cannot count the number of times my male autistic friends have terrified me accidentally.

[neurodiversitysci]

ND people, especially autistic ones, are constantly being misunderstood and having their motives misjudged. Coming across as unintentionally creepy is a gender-specific subset of this, and a much more serious one. Normally, the ND behavior being misunderstood is annoying or inconvenient, but not particularly harmful. In this case, the behavior is hurtful and sometimes panic-inducing. This isn’t a case where one should say “Neurotypicals need to stop complaining about this and just accept us for who we are.” Because if women stop treating creepy behavior as red flags, maybe nine times out of ten, the man is just ND and awkward, but the tenth time they’re leaving themselves open to harassment or even rape. That’s not a risk I personally would take.

If you’re a man, or just perceived as one–it’s an unfair double standard that you are judged as creepy when a woman doing the exact same thing would be ignored. It’s probably not comforting either that the fault of that handful of men who do stalk and hurt women. The good news, though, is it’s relatively easy to stop being misunderstood. By taking advice like this, you can stop yourself from being misunderstood and ensure you’re seen as the good person you are.

[jessandhernewsillyblog-deactiva]

the “tell her you’re not interested in her if you’re not interested in her” is kinda odd like, going up to someone and being like “hi! I have no romantic interest in you!” like… that’s weird you don’t think that is weird and embarrassing and also possibly gives the opposite vibe because like, who does that? 

[myautisticpov]

Yeah, it’s almost as if I wrote “I actually don’t have a good suggestion for that one […] But you should be aware that it’s a problem” in the post…

[screamingaaaaa]

this is applicable to women too, btw. i personally struggle with the personal info part

[thatadhdfeel]

tADHDfw you’re constantly signing/humming and sometimes don’t recognize you’re doing it, and as a bonus: always having multiple songs stuck in your head that “play” all at once when trying to focus, especially while taking tests

[screamingaaaaa]

i’m embarrassed to say i regularly quote lyrics to Dragometry to myself

[na57950]

An icon 😻😻

[screamingaaaaa]

if this ain’t me tho 🤭😬☠️

[demiro-blog1]

look at how animated she is shes my fave

[screamingaaaaa]

who tf captured this actual footage of me getting mad at my middle schoolers

[su-faces]

tfw the teacher says u cant do the project the night before its due

[screamingaaaaa]

every princeton student on dean’s date eve

[theraviolispeaks]

I think it’s funny that

Homophobic countries try to censor all the gay in Steven Universe by giving Ruby a male voice actor, but in the process of doing that they made Ruby a trans woman, because she wore a dress in the wedding scene. A lot of people say that ruby should have been the one to wear a suit, but the way Rebecca did it, it’s a huge fuck you to homophobic countries. And I think that’s beautiful ♡

[screamingaaaaa]

it was brilliant in that episode how all the butch gems were wearing dresses while the femme gems were wearing suits

[retr0viruss-deactivated20200114]

I gave up on the background so I put extra effort into Ruby

[screamingaaaaa]

im such a ruby ^^;

[thatadhdfeel]

tadhdfw you got diagnosed w adhd and then look at your dad who supposedly doesn’t have adhd but exhibits all the symptoms u do and you’re like “… so that’s where i got it from”

[screamingaaaaa]

this is basically me w my dad and autism