Tragic Backstory Ideas That Aren’t S3xual Assault
Something that never ceases to frustrate me is the fact that sexual assault - a very serious and potentially traumatising topic - is the go-to used to add ✨spice✨ to characters’ stories, especially cis men who want their female characters to have a ✨FuCkED uP✨ manic pixie dream girl “appeal”.
That being said, here are some alternatives, if you still want your characters to be traumatised;
Severe/long term bullying. Especially in neurodiverse children, this has been shown to cause symptoms of PTSD.
Witnessing a death; that may include natural causes, unalive, or something horrible like an IED or burning alive, especially in a war zone. Use your imagination!
Near death experiences. An operation gone wrong, an almost fatal car accident, almost drowning as a kid. These things leave scars.
Emotional/verbal abuse. In media, the only type of abuse that is portrayed is physical/sexual, and emotional and verbal abuse are seen as ‘lesser’ when this isn’t the case at all. These are just as likely to cause lasting scars.
Animal attacks. I read a book where an SAS soldier talked about trauma, and the thing that had stuck with him the most - out of everything - was the time a chimpanzee tried to kill him when he was eight. Not the killing, or the war horrors - the chimpanzee. Being a child is scary, and things like that leave bigger marks than as an adult.
Genocide. This is a huge, HUGE one that’s overlooked. Generational trauma is a thing. When someone has tried to wipe out your whole race/religion/species/tribe/whatever reason some sick bastard thinks of, that leaves a mark on the survivors, and then their kids have to grow up being told stories of how their close relatives were brutally slaughtered, and then their kids, and so on.
Disability. As a disabled person myself, this shit is hard. Like, really fucking hard. Some days you can’t get out of bed because you don’t want to face the day. Especially if you’re born with it, growing up adjusting to the fact that the world is not made for you and that people will deliberately make your already difficult life harder for you leaves marks on your psyche.
Racism. It’s so common but so understated how racism is a direct link to PTSD and C-PTSD. It’s constant, unending bias just because of the colour of your skin, or your features. You have to constantly police your behaviour, walk the line between stereotype and being seen as catering to your oppressor. People judge you for how you walk, talk, dress, the music you listen to, the career you choose, everything. It’s traumatic.
Hate crimes. Seriously. I know unfortunately from personal experiences. Still have nightmares ten years later.
Neglect. This is a massive one. Having to fend for yourself during your formative years, potentially to the point of having to look after your siblings or even your parents, gives you massive trust issues and forces you to bury your emotions at all times. You’re not allowed to be sick, not allowed to be tired. You have to be strong always. It’s exhausting.
And these are just a few examples. They’re all very serious topics, and shouldn’t be taken lightly, but neither should sexual assault. Trauma is trauma, and it affects you daily, even if it’s just a little or if it’s a lot. It can’t be kissed away by the magic love interest and it can’t be wiped clean by finding happiness elsewhere. You’re going to have good days and bad days. And that’s okay. This should be reflected in your writing.
If you want your character to be an asshole, don’t use trauma as an excuse. It adds to the stigma.
Just have them be an asshole. Own it.
