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Sade Olutola
almost home

if i look back, i am lost
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noise dept.
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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apotheosis đ
Original art by @indigonite
the stranger/ the lonely/ the extinction
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Elias, an avatar of the Watcher, choosing how he wants to kill people:
Elias in his natural state is a clue character.
The strongest guy in the Magnus Archives is that one guy who was so obsessed with his dog that he just walked right out of the Spiral because it was her dinnertime
This is one of my favorite episodes. Fears can't hurt you if you're chill enough. The guy who walked in a spiral for four hours and then just left because he remembered he had somewhere to be is, to me, the avatar of the entities' fear
strongest people in the magnus archives:
guy who kept the coffin of the buried in his living room and used it as a coffee table
walked out of the spiral because his dog needed dinner
the plumber who was so inattentive that the stranger put on a whole spectacle for him and he straight-up missed it all
the guy whose primary concern with the evil taxidermists was whether or not they were money laundering (they weren't)
the woman who accepted that she was going to die on the underground, so she just lay down and fell asleep. still takes the tube to work
S1 Jon Sims is so funny actually. "I don't want my assistant to get chopped into pieces but it has to be someone" "there's a perfectly natural explanation for a guy who claimed he was being haunted by a spider to be found dead and encased in spiderweb. Nothing supernatural at all." He spends several episodes really drilling in how terrible Martin is and then Martin puts worms on his desk and he's like "sleep in my bed." He doesn't believe in most supernatural stuff besides the evil books. Except that when confronted about this in a high stress situation he's like "it's all real actually. By the way are you a ghost?" He's fantastic he's a dick he's the best
The holy trinity of outsiders finding out stuff about TMA
Actually I think about Sasha James SOO much. She had so much going on in the five episodes she appeared I can't put into words how many thoughts I have on her
Like, as many people have pointed out, she's fucking weird.
She's in her early/mid 30s with seemingly no close connections outside of her work, which is an academic institute dedicated to studying the paranormal- a thing she does completely believe in until episode 26! (and the "I've always considered myself a sceptic" thing is wild to me btw, because she says in 39 that working in artifact storage was bad enough to make her want to quit! Which means either a) she somehow LIED under compulsion (???) and like Jon was putting on a front or b) she did find artifact storage scary but still didn't believe it was real. Both options are wild). She only believes in the supernatural after being stalked by a monster, whom she decided to sit down and talk to, which led to her nearly getting eaten by worms (she ALSO did not 100% believe in said worms despite her coworkers encounter with them)
She's generally seen as likeable, friendly, and reliable, earning the respect of her peers (Jon notably seems to get along with her best out of everyone in season 1? he's generally less pissed with her at all times than he is with Tim and Martin (who he does care about but doesn't show it as much)). despite this reputation, all indicators seem to point to her having the social grace of a bull in a china shop!!
like, Instead of just asking Jon his birthday or asking martin about his qualifications, likely because she knew she wouldn't get a real answer from them...SHE JUST HACKS THEIR COMPUTERS??? She doesn't even try to hide it! she tells Jon!! Tim knows!! She doesn't even gain anything from knowing these things, the Jon thing is mostly useless on a practical level, and it's not like she. Idk blackmails martin with his CV info, she's not a narc, she keeps it under wraps, she just wanted to know and thought this was. Idk efficient!? Girl what!!!
She's sweet and nerdy! She's the first character to technically kill someone. She's implied to have pranked Jon before, to the point he didn't trust her not to have written episode 12s statement as a hazing thing. When she talked to Michael, her main emotion expressed was annoyance at his cryptic riddles. She's openly admitted she should quit her job, but didn't want to because she was curious. Gertrude wanted her to be the next archivist. She takes time out of her morning commute to look through warped glass and people watch. She says Calliope Like That. All of her coworkers love her to bits. Tim told her about his brother. She's one of the only characters to have canonically fucked and she doesn't believe in the concept of the self
Most of all I think what this post is all a preamble to is the fact that Sasha "not the bravest person in the world" James went out pushing Tim out of harm's way. She goes with Michael- yes cause she's curious but also because he told her he could help her save her friends. She's brave, maybe to a stupid degree, but she's brave! When she dies, that's when the archives falls apart. Not because they lacked intelligence without her, but because they all loved her and losing her hurt.
We all talk about how Sasha is/isn't the braincell, or how she is/isn't impulsive, but like. She values her friends lives and she's brave, and I think maybe that's the most overlooked aspect of her character in some ways! She's a lot like Jon, doing seemingly illogical things to keep ppl out of harm's way. She's weird and nosy but not ruthless like Gertrude. She's not even overly nice or polite like say, martin, nor is she the emotionally Intelligent core of the team, that's probably Tim, but the characters do rally around her in a certain way, and she puts herself in danger really early on in the series when the characters still think they might have something to live for. Because she thinks it's the right thing to do.
Anyway, in conclusion, Sasha James is maybe The Most character in media, this has been an essay in three parts, I'm your host ladel welcometogrouchland, thank you and goodnight Britain
like, listen, the best dynamic for tma/wtnv crossover is cecil being cheerfully oblivious and jon being at first all serious & sinister like he is abt statements and then gradually being more and more confused by this strange happy man. like. for example.
jon: statement of cecil palmer, regarding...
cecil: oh, idk, i guess i went to target last week?
jon, ominous: ...regarding a trip to target. statement recorded direct from subject.
cecil, with that 'never mind all that' tone: o...kay! so as always the target greeters saw me at the door and were all like 'our dark lord shall feast on those who enter here' and i was like 'great! do you guys have those infuser water bottles?' because carlos saw some on tv and was telling me--
jon: i'm sorry, the target greeters said what?
cecil: you know, their standard greeting! it's been standard since the 90s, when they changed it from 'beware the burden your soul will bear'!
jon, getting less ominous as he gets more confused: ...right. continue?
cecil: anyway, carlos was telling me all about how proper hydration can help deter throat spiders--
jon: throat what.
Happy brutal pipe murder day to those who celebrate
why donât you draw the og archive squad laughing and maybe youâll calm down!!
Favorite Jon-ism?
Statement begins.
Good lord!
You didn't die here, did you?
How embarrassing for you.
I need an anchor.
There's a door in my mind.
Supplemental.
You are my reason.
It has to be you.
"jonathan sims is missing two ribs" is actually incorrect. he knows where they are, they just arent in his body. hope this helps
actually the only accurate no-fears au is just jon and melanie publishing increasingly antagonistic research papers at each other as petty scientists are wont to do
#melanie: an examination on the war ghost mythology#jon: common misconceptions about the so called âwar ghostsâ#how do you say âfuck youâ in academic
actually im so sorry i was completely wrong, melanie is still a showman at heart, sheâs publishing clickbait-y long-ass video essays and jonâs responding in fucking research papers and editorials that are vagueing about the videos and are exactly as petty as her but refuse to mention them by name. melanie reads sections of his papers out and mocks them.
like u know hbombâs âmeasured responseâ videos? thatâs what melanieâs doing. she opens a new video like âgreat news everyone our dear friend jonathan sims is back at it again being completely wrong in every way!â
they have never once spoken to each other, but it is ON SIGHT if they ever meet. this is the most fun theyâve had in years. they absolutely fucking hate each other.
God, I want to see the moment they finally run into each other in some unsuspecting coffee shop and itâs just
no no no see thereâs 2 other much funnier options for a first meeting:
1- At a party at Georgieâs, where they also simultaneously find out their respective Georgie-dating status. Georgie, of course, still being a spoopy nerd in this universe, has been following the argument for years and is happily sitting on her couch sipping a drink and Watching.
2- If the Institute still exists and Jon is still working there, Melanie, having not looked up that Jonathan Sims guy because that would be one step too far into creepy, unawaredly goes to the Institute to research her next video. The library wonât let her in because she doesnât have the credentials to access it, and they refuse to accept her show as credentials.
Some random middle-aged dude pops up behind her and starts defending the quality, depth and rigor of GH UKâs research and work ethics and all the show does for vulgarisation of the field, making it accessible to a casual layman audience.
The tired librarian (âŚMartin?) sighs and goes, okay, sure, whatever, just fill in this form to vouch for her, sign here.
Melanie goes from extremely surprised but flattered that this academic values her and her work so much, to enraged when Jonathan Sims signs his name.
(Jon may or may not manage to explain that of course heâs always respected her work on the technical execution level, itâs just her theories and conclusions that are bad and wrong.)
They continue to be rivals, only now they can insult each other live when Melanie pops by. And ask how the next thing is coming along and exchange references on specific topics. Both of their contributions notably improve. Sometimes they name each other in the thanks part, if applicable â âHey guys, this episode will be about tearing down our good friend Jonathan Simsâs response to episode 53! Took him long enough. But first, for their support in the making and researching of this episode, Iâd like to thank Georgie Barker, Jonathan Sims, âŚâ.
harassing @gabelish with my very intense feelings about gertrude robinson
Thinking about the idea of Evan Lukas not dying due to congenital heart disease (like his family claims) but because he got pulled out of The Lonely by Naomi by falling in love and ended up wilting away as a result.
They really were on another plane of existence when they made Martin Blackwood. Truly the character of all time
He's queer. He's fat. He writes bad poetry. He has no degree and lies his way into a job he has no qualifications for. He manages to succeed at said job for 7 years with no one noticing anything. He has a crush on his boss who wishes he would die on a daily basis. He makes said boss fall in love with him AND elope with him to another country. He will openly tell you any emotion he is feeling at any time and you will never learn a single thing about his personal life. He watches his boyfriend kill someone and goes "huh, that was hot" and then encourages him to do it again. He had mommy issues. He has daddy issues. His suggestions for improvements of his workplace include "less murder" and "fire." His first instinct at encountering the guy who woke his boyfriend up from a coma is to kill him. He has no middle name. His one unambiguous description is that he's "not cool." He regularly fantasizes about murdering his other boss and making out with his boyfriend over his corpse. How does anyone else ever compare