@scunderedscoundrel - Tumblr Blog

Witch cat

time to HALT!

(i learned this in a caregiving class but it's useful in most situations i've been in, like not to be neurodivergent on main but sometimes you feel Bad and can't work out why)

Hungry? eat something*.

Angry? count to ten, take a deep breath, and walk away from it if you can.

Lonely? interact with another person that you aren't responsible for.

Tired? take five minutes to sit with your eyes closed.

also i bet your drink is going cold.

( ˘ ³˘)♥

*(if you're not allergic, a spoonful of nut butter and a glass of liquid will keep you going, but the only bad calorie is the one you don't have when you need it.)

#important

lacetulle

Zimmermann | Fall/Winter 2023

#fashion #flowers

zendeyas

Adut Akech in the Versace FW22 Show

#fashion #woman

themakeupbrush

Anok Yai at the 2023 Met Gala

#eyes

spectrologie-deactivated2023041

Lily Rose

#beautiful #pink

brarchives

boldstrap f/w ‘22

#fashion

butchfagminotaur

just saw a post where someone put “detrans dni” and like… hey we should be supporting detransitioned people bc if we don’t terfs will

butchfagminotaur

sometimes you’re wrong about your identity and that’s ok like i used to think i was bi but it turns out i was wrong and i know ppl who thought they were trans but it turns out they were wrong and it should be ok and accepted that sometimes people don’t get it right on the first try

butchfagminotaur

@shadowknight1224 this is an excellent way of putting it thank you

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

This touches on something I have felt for a long time, which is that one of the reasons rigid queer labels and gatekeeping is so dangerous is because if you want to encourage people to explore their gender/sexuality, there has to be a safe "Actually I was wrong" option.

I went through so very much anxiety coming out, and when I really think about it it was squarely from the fear of being wrong about it all. That I was, at heart, a cishet woman, and therefore I was appropriating a label that didn't 'belong' to me, and I would (somehow) be harming other people by doing so. There's so much more unnecessary pressure if the sword hanging over your head is "But you do have to be right about this, you can't back out once you've even asked the question."

I think that is Bad. I think it makes fewer people ask the question. I think that includes those who need to ask, and would be much happier for it.

damnfool-of-a-took

to summarize: one of the things the Q stands for is QUESTIONING

and that is as it should be

tikkunolamorgtfo

I’d like to also submit the possibility that some people may be more prone to shifts in their gender identity than others, and that it’s not necessarily even a case of being “wrong,” so much as it’s a case of just changing over time. I know the predominant narrative we see in discourse is that a person who transitions was never their agab—and I’m sure that’s true for a lot of people! But… it’s not true everyone? I remember reading an interview with Danny Lavery after he came out, and he said something along the lines of “One day, I went to bed a woman and woke up not a woman anymore.” So if a person can change once, who’s to say that can’t change again? For example, I know Eddie Izzard (whose labels have shifted a lot over the decades, as terminology and options for gender identities identity have changed many times over since the 1980s) has said she goes through long block periods of being a particular gender, so right now she’s “based in girl mode,” (her words) but she’s previously had blocks of time being based in “boy mode,” too. So like, whose to say other people don’t have block periods like that? Maybe somebody really was non-binary for ten years and now they’re not anymore, y’know? Not feeling something about yourself forever doesn’t have to mean you were wrong the whole time. Of course, being wrong is okay too! But I’d make room for both.

indieninja92

i LOVE this addition, especially because it helps us move away from the "ive always known" narrative that dominates so much trans space. sometimes your gender literally changes, and it's not helpful or healthy of us to act like that means everything that came before was false or mistaken.