continuing my barbie dream house delusions about Spider and Neytiri:
when Spider was accepted by the Metkayina (we know he was at least accepted into the hunting parties within his first weeks there, before the Tlalim arrived, because he made his knife from hide gathered during a hunt), Neytiri is... reluctant to let him hunt with the other kids his age.
she and Jake— whether she liked it or not, even if it was just because Jake begged her and she was too out of her remind with grief to fight it, and now she might regret it, and wishes she hadn't at time —had vouched for him. agreed to watch out for and take care of him.
and she remembers what Ao'nung had done with Lo'ak. who's to say he wouldn't lead the boy to his own death? that he would use Spider's human fragility against him? that even if he didn't, that another child wouldn't?
he doesn't even ask her if he can go, he ends up asking Jake. and it's less asking and more informing. she knows he's used to being independent. if he was being allowed by the people of Awa'atlu, he shouldn't really need permission from them. not with the norm they had established.
but she says no. shocking Spider. his head whips towards her, clearly confused.
"I got permission, I swear– Ao'nung asked me! he said Olo'eyktan asked for him to bring me along, so I can learn and help—"
"and I say no." her voice is firm and lifeless. stiff. she's barely talked in days. her heart hurts. she's cradling Neteyam's songcord. she can't stand the sight of another dead boy. she cannot. "I am your elder. I vouched for you. I am your guardian. and I say no."
Jake nor Spider get a chance to even ask why before she is standing, "this is final, until I say otherwise."
and she's going to find the Olo'eyktan. she goes through all the pleasantries and manners, before stating her mind.
"your boy has left one of my sons to drown before. I will not take my ward out to sea." she won't look him in the eye. not because she fears him, but because she knows hers are so cold and sharp, he'd falter more then she needs. "find another way for him to pull his weight."
he assures her that Ao'nung is no threat to Spider, that he's learned his lessons and wouldn't allow any of the hunters to do anything similar. but she just shakes her head, cringing.
she wants to take her blade to him most nights. but the sight in her minds eyes of his mask slipping off his face. of him slipping beneath the surface and never returning. being dead and still, washed up on the rocks— she cannot imagine it without feeling her stomach sink. she cannot allow it to happen.
her... ward. will not die to the sea.
"I ask that you find something else," she requests again, "he is... a good hunter. good in the forest. he can gather. hunt amongst the mangroves. he can weave, with those... small fingers... of his. he can be useful."
eventually, she cannot prevent Spider from going. so she just goes and scares the shit out of Ao'nung. who is terrified of upsetting the grieving woman.
"that tawtute will return in the same condition I sent him from my mauri in, am I understood?"
and he's nodding, terrified.
and before she lets Spider out, she has, without him noticing, rechecked his back 20 times. scolded him not to make a fool of himself twice. and glared at Ao'nung more times then she can count.
Spider has ZERO clue what she's been up to. he thinks she doesn't think he should be included in village life.
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