∆ sean:weekly a burger review ∆

I eat burgers, often, weekly, daily, mostly weekly. I like to discuss my burgers, because well, I KNOW burgers. I'm a tall grumpy Australian who just likes a good burger.

[seansburgers]

Lockdowns been tough. Don’t want to go into it too much. But my mates are back and life is good.

Old Lulie Street - also known as happy place - good burgs, good beers, good life. Word of advice: TJs Famous Whopper with fries.

Peace, seany sean.

[seansburgers]

Who is writing this damn blog!

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Parlour Games

Until I decided upon the fairly unoriginal title for this week’s burger chat, I had never really stoped to think what a parlour game is. So I googled it. Now I know you’re probably sitting reading this thinking “Of course I know what a parlour game is you muppet.” Well it was obviously a hole in my knowledge and now I am going to share my new found information with you. A parlour game is a group game played indoors, popular amongst the upper and middle classes. During the 19th Century these upper classes had more leisure time than people of previous generations leading to the creation of these party games. Wikipedia lists examples including Charades, Wink Murder, Tiddlywinks and a strange game called Elephant’s foot umbrella stand. More importantly, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon has made it onto the list!

Six degrees of Kevin Bacon is based on the “six degrees of separation” concept which claims any two people on earth are connected by six or less acquaintances. In Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, players must link any person in Hollywood to Kevin Bacon in, you guessed it, 6 movies or less.

Geez I love Kevin Bacon, I mean yeah, he was a super creepy child rapist in Sleepers but the guy has delivered so many times over! Footloose, The Air Up There, National Lampoons Animal House, Apollo 13, Wild Things – now that was a pretty weird movie. Everyone remembers that movie for one thing and it is NOT the clever plot twists framed in flashbacks that shows how Suzie cleverly manipulated everyone to sail off in the luxury yacht that’s for sure. Anyway, without getting too sidetracked, let’s play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon:

Kevin Bacon

Bacon!

Sean loves Bacon more that anyone I know! This week at Windsor’s Parlour Diner, Sean did what Kevin Bacon did to those poor boys in Juvi, to the Parlour Burger with Double Bacon. (Ooooh, shit that is a rough image!)

We tried nearly everything on the menu at the Parlour Diner including the flagship fried chicken burger, spicy fish burger and pulled pork sliders. The Parlour really does that American Style burger well. Beautiful soft buns, well cooked patties, tons of salad and sensational sides! Onion rings, curlie fries, wings, crumbed Jalapenos guaranteed to “cleanse” you!

The Parlour Diner is quickly becoming a favourite for Sean and his bunch of super cool mates. And apparently the Shakes are all time too. I would say it is the Apollo 13 of Kevin Bacon movies – exciting, satisfying and Bacon is the side character but still adds plenty of valuable input to the main event. 

[seansburgers]

Hazelnut Season

Four months is a long time – You can learn a language. Babies begin to babble. David Kuehls can train you to run a 4 hour marathon. You could even walk from Melbourne to Perth (at 5.5 hours per day, 5 kph). Sean hasn’t done any of these things but he hasn’t wasted his time.

Sean has watched his best mate get married. Sean has worked full time. Sean has eaten at the most esteemed restaurant in Melbourne. Sean has detoxed. Sean has been snowboarding. Sean has made a Jennauine online purchase. Sean has started jogging again. Sean has learned to cook dahl...well. Sean has spent the last 4 months recovering from a broken left wrist.

As a result, Sean has NOT been climbing and Sean has NOT been a regular participant at the Sean:Weekly “climbing and burger” Tuesday hangouts.

Until now.

He’s back and to celebrate, the crew got together for a night at The Beer and Burger Bar on Swan St in Richmond. As if the place was in on the celebrations for Sean and his motley crew, the tasty craft beers on tap are half price on Tuesdays!

Sean went with the classic cheese burger – beef patty, cheddar cheese, onion, tomato, lettuce. Simple. Delicious.

The Beer and Burger Bar source their ingredients locally, use only free range chicken, offer a “Game Burger” and did I mention half price beers.

http://tbbl.com.au/

[seansburgers]

(Ladies and) Gentlemen...start your engines!

Just south of Melbourne city, tucked in on the beach lies a little suburb called Albert Park. Albert Park is world famous for one thing. Every year in March the planet looks on to one of the greatest motoring spectacles on the calender, the Albert Park Grand Prix.

Turn 1 is an incredibly challenging, medium speed corner that catches several drivers out. It comes at the end of the first DRS zone but despite this it is not a prime overtaking spot. You brake just after the 100 metre board and shift down into third gear, then you accelerate as soon as you hit the exit kerb, keeping flat out round turn 2. It is important to gain a good exit, as the second DRS zone begins down the following straight. Turn 3 is the best overtaking place as you brake roughly 100 metres before the apex for the second gear corner. It is reasonably easy to outbrake a competitor and you can use either the inside or outside; turn 4 is a left-hander than comes immediately after so the outside of turn 3 gives the inside for four. Turn five is a flat-out right hander with high g-force. However, instead of flying around turn 5 at 200 kph, stay straight through the round-about onto Cecil St and turn left on Bridport St. In 200m on your right sits Andrews Hamburgers.

Although many of you burger boffins take delight in sliced avocado topping your meaty morsels, I unfortunately am allergic to nature’s butter. The Mexican Burger caught my eye with chilli sauce and jalapenos but I was worried hidden guacamole may ruin my night – so I queried it with the bloke behind the till.

  This basically sums up the Andrew’s Hamburgers experience. Andrew’s was there before the gourmet burger scene hit Melbourne. They are Australian hamburgers. They don’t use brioche or Portobello mushrooms. There is no table service or obscure craft beers on tap. It’s not served out of a van outside a dive bar in Brunswick. But if you’ve ever had a great burger from a nameless fish and chip shop, in a sea side town, on a summer road trip with the family, in the time before sliders and Huxtaburger, then come to Andrew’s for a trip down memory lane.

As you can probably tell by Sean’s hipster beard, Swedish denim, fixie bike and tortoise shell glasses, he is almost the antithesis of what I have described. However, Andrew’s Hamburger must have struck a chord with Sean’s coastal roots. His plain beef burger was everything a burger needs to be - a succulent beef patty, onion, tomato, cheese and lettuce. The chips come in a paper bag with chicken salt (great thinking Sean!) and bottles of tomato sauce on the table instead of in a mini sieve with aioli and chutney. Now, I’m not saying Andrew’s is no frills but it is a simpler fare than some others around. But this is the beauty of Andrew’s.

Before the burger revolution this was probably the best burger in Melbourne. And some will argue it still is. But with so much burger choice on offer in Melbourne 2014 there is something for everyone. And if your ‘something’ is a well made traditional Australian burger then Andrew’s Burgers is worth the long pit stop!

[seansburgers]

FLAVOR IS IN THE BUILDING!

You don’t make friends with Salad... but you do make friends with Jerry’s Vegi Burgers.

The Meredith Supernatural Amphitheatre was alive for Golden Plains 8 on the Labour Day long weekend. Car loads of hipsters and hippies, young and old boot wielding revellers flocked to check out some sweet tunes, great vibes, catch up with old friends, make new ones, or just simply to take a bunch of acid and stumble upon the latest impromptu dance party in bush camp.

Sean was there for other reasons. A long time campaigner against non-animal carcass burger patties, Sean had initially dismissed the allure that was the little psychedelic shack with a perpetual waiting line that appears for two weekends a year at the SUP that is Jerry’s Vegi Burgers.

I headed to GP8 to boogie with Osaka Monaurail, rock out with The Drones, have my mind blown by FlyLo and to Party for my Right to Fight! Sean went to lentil heaven.

Jerry hand makes every patty** and adds that secret ingredient...positive zen and a bit of magic, to make the world’s most incredible, soft juicy lentil patty, that is perfectly accompanied by the home made relish and dynamite satay sauce.

No matter how bad the festival hangovers get (and boy they can be bad!), Jerry is guaranteed to get you boot scooting with the Perch Creek Family Jug Band by noon!

**totally made this up

(mmmm. that was a delicious vegi burger!)

...Oh and it’s Kadence’s birthday today.  Sean wanted a shout out to his bestie Kadence, and says that you are his favourite person (except for Jerry!) and hopes you have the best day ever!

[seansburgers]

HOMECOMING

“Do you think about me now and then?

Do you think about me now and then?

‘Cause I’m coming home again

Maybe we can start again”

I wasn’t a huge fan of Chris Martin, or Coldplay for that matter when they first came on the scene. Whether it was the hilarious self-mockery in Ricky Gervais’ Extras or that super catchy chorus in his collaboration with Kanye in Homecoming, he has ground me down and won me over.

On the topic of being won over, and homecomings (double segue), Brother Burger and the Marvellous Brew totally won me over last Tuesday, as we celebrated Sean’s homecoming.

Keen followers of this space would be aware our namesake Sean has recently returned from his snowcation to sunny California. After 4 months in the heartland of the humble hamburger it was exciting to see how one of Melbourne’s finest purveyor of the patty stacked up.

Sean went with the flagship, the Oh, Brother. A whopping double 100% wagyu beef patty, double cheese, jalapenos, lettuce, American mustard, ketchup and pickled onion.

Moist flavoursome patties cooked medium balanced with lively spice from the American favourite chilli, sandwiched by a fresh roll, soft with the face lightly toasted. The Oh, Brother is a classic American hamburger done as well as any around. But bring your appetite or your rowing team because this one is not for the feint hearted.

I enjoyed the Hot Stuff with a Lamb patty which was an absolute flavour knock out! We added Fat Chips and the world’s biggest* Onion Rings both served with mustard mayo and ketchup for dipping, and washed them down with seasonal craft beer.

    *No basis to this claim whatsoever but they were bloody big!

  Brother Burger and the Marvellous Brew

Side of 413 Brunswick St

Fitzroy VIC 3065

[seansburgers]

Popping In-and-Out Virgins

Last week Sean had a couple of guests from back home in Melbourne-town come visit him up north-aways in that American temporary home of his. Most of Sean's friends are under the impression the purpose of his trip to Tahoe is to chase snow. Most of Sean's friends however are wrong.

So. Very. Wrong.

Sean is clearly on a pilgrimage to the homeland of his one true love, Burgers (Sorry Jess I'm pretty sure he loves you too, but seriously....BURGERS). Chuck and Bangers (their real names are kept private for security reasons) visited Sean & Co. in Tahoe recently under the impression they were there to party and enjoy snow. They were wrong.

So. Very. Wrong.

They were there for Sean to introduce them to In-and-Out Burgers! 

I can hear you wondering, but what did they eat, god dammit! Tell me already oh omniscient author! Well, wait no more: Sean had a double double with grilled onion, mustard grilled, medium rare and animal style fries.

Whilst the virginal Chuck & Bangers duo banged out their first In-and-Out experience rating it a whopping 4/5 Sloppy-Buns.  Bangers is renowned for smiling lots and nodding, so he smiled lots and nodded when Sean ordered, and followed suit in truly exceptional mimicry. Our trusty Egyptian, pictured below with Bangers o'Mimicry, also devoured the same. However, his choice was clearly made to help Banger's through his first In-and-Out, because we all know, the first time can be the scariest. Matty Smash the quiet connoisseur broke the gentle mood of mimicry with a TRIPLE!

As an interesting sidenote full of devious insite into Sean: He is refusing to give Bangers the wifi password so he can't set the lineup for his Fantasty Basketball Team before they vs. Sean's team. He is however giving Bangers clues as to who's on Sean's lineup, such as: 'Something I would say to you.' and 'Louie'. Oh Sean, you so devious!

[seansburgers]

It's my party and I'll eat burgers if I want to!

Lesley Gore wouldn’t be crying if she partied like this!

What better way to celebrate your birthday than with golf, bowling and a birthday cake buffet??? How about a double-double, mustard grilled with animal style fries from In’n’Out to kick things off! Well that’s exactly how things went down. A slight variation to the order this time around for Sean but with the same result. Smiles all round!

Now...did someone say strippers?!

You can leave your hat on Sean!

[seansburgers]

T'is the (ski blackout) season!

No burgers this week but with their ski passes blacked out, Sean and crew celebrated Christmas with a more traditional culinary experience. That is if by traditional you mean enough food to feed a fat American household!

12kg (26.5lbs) of turkey and 12kg of vegetables were prepared by our man Sean to feed his friends. Luckily BJ was in town for the holidays to help out!

Merry Christmas y’all.

Xoxo

[seansburgers]

Gnarly Dude!

Spring has come early in Tahoe! Just in time to make the fat man sweat as he delivers all those toys. If Santa decided to swing past Squaw Valley on his route the G.N.A.R. burger would be sure to give him the meat sweats too!

"Holy cholesterol batman!" At $54 Squaw Valley's G.N.A.R. burger is not for the feint hearted. However for a veteran burger connoisseur like Sean, this burger may prove to be be a weekly ritual.

Some say the G.N.A.R burger cannot be consumed by one man (or woman), some say you shouldn't try. Sean says, "Delicious." Although able to feed 6-8 mouths, on this occasion, none of those mouths belonged to Labib. Sean took delight describing it, perhaps pay back for the avocado incident. "It's a 4 lb patty with pulled chicken and pork. Onion rings and sauce." Unlike this monstrous burger, revenge is definitely a dish best served cold!

Christmas came early for Sean this year. They say good things come in small packages. Well sometimes good things come in giant burger shaped packages. And sometimes your package looks like a giant burger. Either way, the final say on the G.N.A.R. burger Sean? "Gnarly indeed."

[seansburgers]

Standard Chicken Affair

By affair I don't actually mean fair, I do mean affair. It was an affair because our trusty Eqyptian brother took control of tonight's conversation away from Sean's Burger Night. If you hadn't guessed, Tuesday has become the Tahoe Burger Night, and tonight it wasn't about the burgers. It was instead all about the genius concept that a 69 with the nine upside down is actually just normal sex - ie. 66 - ie. spooning sex.

To our trusty Egyptian this concept was utterly original and worth discussion of for the entirety of the meal. Much to his charismatic nature - this comes from portly stature, a nice Egyptian beard and a funny way of speaking - Labibalicious made tonights dinner about him and not the burger-delicious. But I guess we must excuse his confused self assumption that it's in his nature to be so esoterically philosophical, because the Egyptians spent centuries thinking they were as wise as the Greeks philosophically. But to be entirely fair, we all know the greatest of wisdom comes from the one truly great American Cuisine - The Burger.

Tonight's fair was simple yet effective, a perfectly cooked Chicken Schnitzel, Tomato, Lettuce and Avocado (this time with Sean's graceful blessing), all wrapped in a delicate fluffy bun and served with Crinkle Cut Chips. God damn I do love a crinkle cut chip!

Pics or it didn't happen:

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From Far Afield

When shown a burger from Melbourne, that Sean's distant brethren thoroughly enjoyed the evening prior, Sean's few choice words were 'Yeah their chicken burger's good.' It is clear from his lack of elaboration that Sean misses The Parlour in Melbourne's 'Deep Fried Chicken Burger'

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Tahoe Tower #1

Sean finds himself currently residing in Lake Tahoe with his 'crew' of snowbuddies. As they have just moved in and haven't braved the far reaches of Tahoe in their search for burger excellence, Sean decided he must give unto his buddies the miracle of his home made burgers.

Here is Sean cooking his burgers, and you can just see how ecstatically excited he is to share this gift unto his bretheren (p.s. please don't judge him for his fashion, this is a blog about burgers):

Before I share an image of the final product I wish to elaborate on the general consensus (from Sean) about these gifts. Upon Ramon's addition of Avocado, Sean declared, 'You have defiled my wishes' and are dead to me Ramon. Following this our trusty Egyptian bretheren of the highest esteem, Labib, decided (as is in his nature) that he required extra sauce. This was met with a deathly glare from Sean, however one cannot declare a trusty Egyptian as dead to them so Sean kept his mouth shut.

Later in reflection Sean lamented, 'Ramon you broke my heart.'

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Whilst not eating burgers, Sean is tormenting his Melbourne friends with views like this one from Emerald Bay. His lament for this picture however was 'I'm going to have to wait until tomorrow for my In & Out Burger'

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Seans left the Australian shores behind for a few months in favour of the dripping delicacies of America. Seans words about these here burgers were succinct, in fact they were more of an assertion that his were better than what his lowly peers in Austalia had, 'How were your burgers? Mine was awesome.' When asked further about the burgers insofar as the evident expectation of increased cholesterol and/or trouble breathing Sean replied, 'Increased awesomeness and I think my balls grew.'