I’ve been sitting on this thought for about a month, but I think it is unfortunately my time. I’m going to be permanently logging off of this account. I’ll miss you all so much. I have a message that you can read if you would like, but you don't need to.
Hello my loves. It sucks to be making this post, but at the same time this is a necessary thing for me to be doing.
I’m so infinitely grateful for this site and for all of you, and truly being a part of such an amazing community has genuinely changed me as a person for the better.
Over the past two months, a lot of very drastic changes in very short succession happened in my life. And while this community provided an escape, my mental health was still suffering. Now that my life has slightly calmed down, I've had the ability to reflect on a lot of things, and I’ve realized that ultimately, having an online life is just something I’m not really capable of.
I’m a very physical person in every manner of the world. I like working out, I like sports, I’m a huge fan of just about every physical activity. What I have failed to realize until now is that it applies to more than just my activities. I need physical relationships, ones where I can interact with the person, well, in person. Having friendships or relationships where I can't do this is genuinely detrimental to my mental health. I think this definitely has roots in trauma, I have a lot of trauma relating to the internet, but I think that partially this is also who I am as a person. It sucks to do this, but having a presence that is with people solely on the internet is just not feasible for me to do in a way that protects my mental health.
So to all my friends, thank you so so so much for always being here for me, and being silly with me and putting up with my shenanigans. I’ll never forget you.
With lots of love,
Cristina
