Mindlessly Blissfull

This page is for my poems and free writes. While life is meant to be lived, I feel that writing only immortalizes moments that can be forgotten.

[secondchancealive]

Untitled.

Author: Yours Truly.

[secondchancealive]

Title: Suburbia Author: Yours Truly…along with a much needed Moment of editing and break in my typical stream of consciousness style.

[secondchancealive]

Una Historia Repetida

I can’t keep up. I just got home and it’s tomorrow already. I haven’t slept so it’s still today, Well These days start to feel the same. Bare minimum human contact keeps Me at arms length But that keeps me sane. I check my social media feeds Infinite in length but current in moments It’s almost as if it always existed. I can’t help but feel like I’m living in Constant deja vu. Days seem familiar and new Occupying two tenses Both presented and passed along All at once.

[secondchancealive]

Analogue

I point my camera as my friends pose In the cafe that keeps us warm on colder days I aim to capture them young, eternal Frozen on film in frames black and white Smiles framed by their laughter lines Preserving the happiness that lasts 1/60th of a second between breaths and sadness I might overexpose the photos or push The film a bit to its limit And photograph friends I fear I’ll Under appreciate. I’ll calculate the shutter speed and aperture to make sure I can Capture my friends properly. Hopefully the photos come out okay.

[secondchancealive]

When Boys Like Girls...

The air around me is in echo Relaying sounds of what was. The ringing in my ears scream Lyrics seemed so alive at one time And now become a distant memory Fading between vsco’d photos And poor quality videos. Capturing The moment as in ready set go The escape was greater than you know. I sat, bathing in colors and memories as People surfed above me. I already knew that boys liked girls, Never understood it until they were through.

[secondchancealive]

3/1/16 11:57pm

We talked about the future

like we were gonna be together forever.

But the future came calling

and asked for a return slip.

You bounced back quick

Like a bad check.

You're in debt.

Found another boy to

Fill your empty spaces.

But let's face it

Our future was a past life

And I'm already present.

I find myself looking forward

Not back.

My head

doesn't turn like that.

So I hope

You find the happiness you need.

Because late at night

I found my friends.

And unlike you,

I'll never be alone again.

[secondchancealive]

2/23/16 12:57am

It’s around now We were breaking down To pieces and bits It all went to shit.

But then suddenly I’m realizing you were Always a toxic one An infection on my skin A poison in my blood.

You were fake from the start An academy award a star on an L. A. side Walk away as fake tears drop.

You almost ruined me Kiss on cheek with everything That was too good to be true. To be stupid is to think that I thought that I almost loved you.

[secondchancealive]

2/12/16 11:42pm

I woke up with a Clear head and a cigarette scented black V neck From last night. My sadness went out the window With the smoke into the Colombian night air. I Almost got kicked in the face And I’m okay. I challenged her To do it anyway.

[secondchancealive]

2/11/16 12:05am

You got me feeling a type of way Where my stomach turns I think they used to call them I don't know. Butterflies? Maybe I'm confusing it A stomach sickness. 

You had me feeling light headed Like my head was in the clouds Or maybe I was deprived of oxygen With a tight chest and I'm barely breathing. 

You had my heart racing.  Probably because I was Running away from you now it's pretty clear that Love sickness is strictly Sick and all the chocolate ice cream Can't save me. 

Maybe I'll get diabetes.

[secondchancealive]

2/11/16 2:29am

I’m tired. Tired of missing you. Tired of The empty space you left in me. You used to be important But you’ll remain a passing tense In time faded in Polaroid memories. 

I don’t know if I’m crying for real Or if the computer screen is Burning my eyes. I can’t tell if I’m Deafened by my silent screams or Blasting A Day to Remember. It’s funny though 

The day we met was a day to Remember the day I met both The girls who’d break me apart. If only I knew I’d avoid the day altogether.

[secondchancealive]

2/9/16 2:19am

I cannot deny That I heard it crack. It’s only minor internal bleeding Between breaths and dead Silence, still like darkness. night. But with internal turmoil sparking. ignite. They say wounds heal But you get scarred If you pick at the scabs. I’ll cough up my blood Until it seals itself shut. Maybe then I’ll breathe better.

[secondchancealive]

2/7/16 12:00:58

Waiting. I always feel like I’m waiting for her To write. To call. To acknowledge my existence. That grey caption bubble (iMessage indication: Typing). Always a few hour spaces Like gaps between classes. But never seeming to be a Primary thought. Not to say I’m important But she seems to be my first and last. The distance between us is Actualized by the Continents connected By wireless signals But seemingly lost Amidst the crossed wires above. I may seemingly regret Attempting another love. For the feelings are nonexistent now Nor were they there before. Infatuated with the colors Of her eyes and the way Her hands fit in mine. This is all new to me, But my caring more may end So that I may regain my mental capacity. But I got these new shoes so My balance is steady still No fear of falling soon. I called in the crew To break down pieces Of my wall for you. But I’m beginning to regret The project altogether.

[secondchancealive]

1/23/16 12:11am

———— Some days I miss you. Well, most of these days It’s been missing you. The 2000 miles. But Internet. But Tech. But century 21. Lack of concern. Do not disturb. Care, at least that’s the feeling. It’s uncool. But it’s new. This feels rushed. Emotions strong. Too strong. Feelings of holding back. Parts feel like running always. But. Never moving, no motion. Difficult breaths, no breathing. collapsing lung Cracked beat box.

I drown myself in ink And sounds Enough. To stop breathing.

[secondchancealive]

Turn Up The Volume

The bass drops as I drown. The good kind Where I breathe in deep Breaths, my heart beating to A rhythm that doctors would Confuse for palpitations. My heart beats better with electricity Than it did when you were near me. You tried to tear me, break me, let me die oh please let me die. I'll die a thousand times before you Could even look me in the eyes. The ocean of sound surrounds me Filling me with everything that you left in the void from what I couldn't grab From the wreckage. I jumped as everything Dropped and I found myself alive. I fell 7 stories and loved every one. Sadly I loved the stories more than I ever loved you.

[secondchancealive]

Night Out

The air smells of food and liquor. The horns are blaring with The singers letting their Voices hang in the cool night air. The drums to a beat that’s addictive contagious.

With Redbull running through my veins I sway to the salsa, seeing those around Me dance the Saturday night Away. I finally feel like this is where I am to stay To all of what's left of my stress to fade.

This moment is eternal. This Is my new home for now, and I am okay. Missing home was missing the past. That passed a moment ago. My moment was always passing. I am now present and accounted for.

[secondchancealive]

Sunday Afternoon Football

I wish I could have stolen the sun Kept it locked away to save the day Make it stay as it was a little longer. Because feeling young isn't always But being with friends is fleeting anyways. We ran on the field, and I saw beauty In a town I can't stand to see daily. We were perks of being a wallflower, infinite Standing atop the announcers booth. Climbing bleachers, looking down At an unfamiliar town from high up. I cannot say that I couldn't breathe But I held my breath longer to make time Go slower. I wish the day never ended. I wish I stole the sun and kept it in place. I wish for an eternal setting sun to keep us young. I wish that my friends didn't have to go. Don't worry, I'll follow you home.

[secondchancealive]

Lost Perfume

She said the perfume Had gone from her world. Now at first I held my Breath to see how it feels To not smell but soon It suffocated me to see You in pain not breathing in But exhaling out, breaking out Of a broken heart is harder than Shawshank. But you’ll have a rough Exterior, know to count your blessings And thank the pen that wrote your story Because this pain won’t be history. No. It’ll be her story and your story and It’s okay to cry hurricanes because the sun shines brightest after the rain. My dear, it’ll all be okay. It has to be okay.