Some-Random-Dude

@some-random-dude42

I am some random dude on the web.

241 posts

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i'm begging you guys to start pirating shit from streaming platforms. there are so many websites where you can stream that shit for free, here's a quick HOW TO:

1) Search for: watch TITLE OF WORK free online

2) Scroll to the bottom of results. Click any of the "Complaint" links

3) You will be taken to a long list of links that were removed for copyright infringement. Use the 'find' function to search for the name of the show/movie you were originally searching for. You will get something like this (specifics removed because if you love an illegal streaming site you don't post its url on social media)

4) each of these links is to a website where you can stream shit for free. go to the individual websites and search for your show/movie. you might have to copy-paste a few before you find exactly what you're looking, but the whole process only takes a minute. the speed/quality is usually the same as on netflix/whatever, and they even have subtitles! (make sure to use an adblocker though, these sites are funded by annoying popups)

In conclusion, if you do this often enough you will start recognizing the most dependable websites, and you can just bookmark those instead. (note: this is completely separate from torrenting, which is also a beautiful thing but requires different software and a vpn)

you can also download the media in question (look for a "download" button built into the video window, or use a browser extension such as Video DownloadHelper.)

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

reiterating that you absolutely need an adblocker for these sites (to avoid malware if nothing else), and i HOPE you already have one installed bc using a (free) adblocker for daily browsing tremendously improves your internet experience!

I recommend installing uBlock Origin whenever possible (Adblock Plus is also popular). Also using Firefox, bc they're a nonprofit that gives you privacy and lets you fight ads, while Chrome is owned by Google; they just want to mine your data and sell ads.

How To Block Ads:

for Desktop, click this uBlock Origin link (works with most browsers). install, restart browser, good to go!

for Android, open Firefox and go to "3 dots menu > add-ons > add-on manager > enable uBlock Origin." (this also blocks youtube ads within firefox!). this doesn't work on Chrome, because Chrome hates you, but there are some ad-blocking apps in the play store that will give you varying results.

for iOS, it's trickier, bc Apple also hates you. here are some recommended apps in the app store. (some of them keep premium features behind a paywall, bc again Apple hates you. but there are options.) If those aren't enough, Firefox comes to the rescue again with the Firefox Focus browser app, which includes a powerful built-in adblocker. I can't find specifics, but try clicking the 3 dots menu and fiddling around to customize your preferences.

in conclusion: a combination of Android, Firefox, and uBlock Origin makes for the best browsing experience. But no matter what system/browser combo you use, please install at least one adblocker. you will thank yourself every damn day. it will give you a faster, safer, and much less aggravating experience as a user of the Modern Internet (derogatory)

ko-fi

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

lol netflix get fucked

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

no more historic events this decade that is ENOUGH, i’m putting my foot down

alettertofutureme

History is not done with us yet my friend

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

I have received all manner of threat, up to and beyond “I will play a flute carved from your femur,” and yet this is the first time I’ve felt truly threatened

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i knew posting this in 2022 was risky but holy fucking shit

Blender-heads - how would YOU most-speedily extrude and/or sculpt this beautiful fucking sun ?

Fuck all of you

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

death-threat-collector

Okay, but what about Saffron? Why is that more expensive?

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

ok i love saffron but it is a fucking CUNT look at this shit:

this is saffron. it's made up of tiny red threads. each of those threads?

THREE TO A FUCKING FLOWER.

it takes 75,000 flowers to make ONE POUND of saffron

do u see this field? do u see this fucking field?

this field will produce enough saffron to fit in a goddam...baggie? a basket? a smallish bucket, perhaps?

and did I MENTION

the harvesting has to be done BY HAND

are u

are u comprehending

the Bullshit, are u comprehending it yet?

can u imagine. having to sit over a pile of thousands of blossoms and pick each. motherfucking. thread. by hand.

and after hours and hours

(your joints aching)

(your fingers stained)

after hours of this nonsense, lo and behold! you have harvested--about a thimble full of fucking saffron

jesus wept and so should you

she's such a whore why do i love her

notawitchbutabitch-blog

*pointing at the banilla beans, after explaining to my girlfriend that the pollination method was to push the pollen back into the flower

THESE, These are selfcest beans!

One time I saw someone getting rid of 10 POUNDS of saffron for a dollar at a garage sale. I immediately bought it then explained my plight to bakery after bakery (over the phone) till one was like "come here and show me" they took it off my hands because I just didn't want to see it go to waste.

If there's an afterlife I want to know the story of the bag of saffron and how 10 lbs made it into the hands of someone who had no idea nor interest about saffron.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

dearheart i respect your commitment to ecological responsibility but are you aware you gave away, for free, circa

$20,000 USD of saffron????

Dance of the wee synth bagpipe

P.M. have you played Dispatch?

Is that the game where MoistCrit is like a bat man?

some-random-dude42

Yep, and they made it so it feels like you are playing a tv show

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

question! if a human gets simultaneously bitten by a vampire, a zombie, and a werewolf, what's the end result?

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i said WHAT would happen not HOW would it happen

some-random-dude42

Wtf goud? This was not what I wanted to be woken up to today

can we get cyana tummy.. for the soul?

Tell ya what

1000 notes and I’ll provide

We need to do what we can to protect the Internet Archive. Here is a petition that you can sign.

Defend the Internet Archive

This petition alone might not be enough, but everything we can throw at this counts.

sabertoothwalrus

for those who don’t remember, “mole interest” was an experiment I did 2 years ago because I wanted to test what causes tags to go trending on tumblr. My hypothesis was that all it takes is one (1) post blowing up in an established tag to make the entire tag trend.

I had randomly generated 2 words, which is where “mole interest” came from. I failed to consider that by generating a new tag, it wouldn’t have had enough posts already in it to prove what I now call “the mole interest effect”.

But now it does.

In 2023, we said “fuck it” a la mythbusters and ended up doing whatever it took to get #mole interest to trend. And it did. And it happened to be September 11th that day, and we managed to get #mole interest to trend ABOVE #9/11.

So, in the name of science, I ask you to reblog just this post. Let’s put the mole interest effect to the test.

A quick summary of the last 16 months

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

the thing about having Globes (be they boobs or butt or any other mighty mounds), is you must occasionally, while walking around naked, cup them in the palms of your hand and give them a good JIGGLE, like Justice balancing her scales

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

@cyko-tik-tabaxi real for this: #no one else is gonna slap my ass and call me a good boy #might as well do it myself

#fuck you for bringing attention to something we all do and don’t want to acknowledge

mimics as synthetic boobs, yes or no?

Would that make them Booby Traps?

Oh no

OH NO IS THIS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE?

I believe it is sir.

How does it feel to have fallen to your own hubris?

Y-Yo-You could say

He activated the Tumblr booty trap

A betrayal of mine own words that not even the likes of Brutus, Benedict or Judas could dare manifest…

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

oh no i've had a Thought

just-binch-thoughts

*cocks gun*

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

mike wazowski wearing a face mask but in the back it ties around in a g-string

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

Mike Wassoutski

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

I know I suggested this but I was genuinely unprepared for the intense pseronal anguish of coming face to face with the obvious consequences of my sin

commandersundown

Enjoy the 11th circle of hell, Gaud.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

genuinely hurt you think I'm only on Level 11

You made your coffin,

Now you must lie in it.

There, I colored it.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i think about this sometimes

scrolled long enough on the 2016 dashboard i stumbled upon this

SCROLL BACK UP

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

writing-prompt-s

Assassins

“Below are selected prices that are paid to professional assassins by criminal organizations and drug cartels for a contract hit.

In Australia, the median price to hire a hit man is $13,610 (9,800 Euros), with the price going up to $83,000 (60,000 Euros) based on the task.

In Mexico, the cost for a low level assassin is $208 (150 Euros), and up to $20,832 (15,000 Euros) for a higher profile target like a police chief.

The prices paid in Argentina are between $3,749 (2,700 Euros) to $5,555 (4,000 Euros) per hit.

Government statistics in Spain state that 40 assassinations take place each year, with prices for the hit ranging between $27 (20 Euros) to $69,000 (50,000 Euros).”

So cheap! I always thought things like this would cost more than $1 million…

writer-wannabe-needs-inspiration

This is super useful to know!

writing-prompt-s

and not just for writing!!

@katherine-rose

HOLY FUCK

HOW MANY HOURS HAVE I WASTED TRYING TO FIND HEROIN PRICES ON THE INTERNET WHAT A GREAT DATABASE

midnight-spectrum-again

I needed this

Actually useful. Sometimes incognito isn’t enough.

and suddenly my life just became much easier

galaxy-of-stories

I’ve heard of this before but the GIFs made it better

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

the reblog map is all of us holding hands btw

beautifulterriblequeen

We are each other's night sky. No one is alone here.

night sky continues to get brighter. theres always people here for you

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