My grandad is an amazing person, just a quick shoutout!
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@secretlyfrog
My grandad is an amazing person, just a quick shoutout!
I want to be a rock in a river, slowly eroding over time until I become a smooth pebble, only to be collected and placed in a pond of a lovely old couple, who in their old age care for their garden, and while the garden might not be as magnificent as others it's theirs, cultivated with their love for each other, and one day I am joined by frog friends as I slowly let time pass over me.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
I haven't screamed in a while. This was almost therapeutic.
Don't forget to scream once in a while.
I went to an animal wildlife center and took amazing pics. But one in particular, well...it gave me an idea
"being alone over the holidays is so sad" um no actually rather than deal with traffic/airports and potentially contract covid just to be re-traumatized by dysfunctional family, i choose instead to be incredibly sexy and take a lovely staycation that is just me and my glorious self splurging on delicious food, media, and leisure time
Honestly feels like the best way to spend the holidays
We did it. A car rental company just for us! This is the type of recognition I'm after!
I've known I was agender for 6 odd years now, and I've brought buttons when I could and a small hand held flag. But for the first time in 6 years I bought my first full sized agender flag. I wore it as a cape at a pride event for the first time. It was so stupid but it made me so unbelievably happy.
Representation is important for small little moments like that.
Sometimes when I exit a room, and stay there for a while, people will ask me, "how long have you been out for?", or, "when did you come out?", and my only answer to that is,
"2011? I think?"
trying to decide if i'd rather be a tortoise or a turtle. on the one hand I prefer dry land, on the other hand turtles can breathe out of their cloacae so. it's tricky
hmm have you considered something like a snapping turtle? can live on dry land if it wants to and just go to the water for a nice splash splash
that'll work
so we have these in North Carolina and they are Menaces (note the capital M) but not in the way that you would think. no. you don’t step into a pond and go “ouchie my foot, a snapping turtle bit me.” (they’re actually very friendly in water so long as you don’t bother them). no no, these fuckers LOVE scorching hot concrete. and they’re BIG.
Most commonly you’ll see one chilling in the middle of the road like a little goomba waiting to wreck your car tire. So you gotta stop and move them which involves awkwardly lugging this flailing, hissing turtle well off the road and into the forest where you pray it will stay.
Now, I know they’re called snapping turtles, and they do snap, WHICH IN ALL DUE FAIRNESS is BAD for the person moving the turtle out of the road.
BUT.
THEY HAVE CLAWS.
Remember when I said “flailing”?
Yeah, it’s easy to avoid the beak but it is NOT easy to avoid those feet. they will fuck you up with their sword-feet.
So, my advice, as a North Carolinian, on moving snapping turtles off roads: Let someone else do it :)
And hey! If i wanted to be a turtle, i’d pick this one! no one’s messing with me!
no one.
Beautiful.
@willowbane are these things of a size where a snow shovel might be a useful implement of hazard-removal? I assume it'd have to be a real heavy-duty one, not one of the flimsy little collapsible popsicle sticks that are what most people have stashed in the back seat footwell somewhere...
*ahem*
To answer your question, here is the following:
i did some research and the research says… maybe???
while this would probably work better from a safety standpoint…
…no one in North Carolina keeps a snow shovel in their vehicle (we're southern, please forgive us). also, snapping turtles are still kinda squishy, at least their legs are, so i would be concerned about cutting the turtle while scooping it since decent snow shovels are usually made of metal and are pretty sharp.
Instead, here is a helpful guide on how to pick up a snapping turtle:
So. You have encountered a turtle…
…and it is filled with the burning rage of a thousand suns because, dear god, you, mortal flesh pod, have decided to move it from its Sunny Spot™️
Question is, how does one go about doing this?
Well, friend, first you approach the turtle from BEHIND (to avoid the beak, chase after it, etc, etc)
You’ve made it this far so now you’re going to want to pick this bad boy up.
In order to avoid walking away from this looking like you just fought with a rotating sphere of knives, pick up the turtle towards the back of its shell but in front of the hind legs:
Then, you’re going to pick the turtle up and lug it across the road in the direction it was facing/walking. They know where they’re going, they have turtle instincts. Trust the turtle instincts.
Now, it is important that you’re only picking this turtle up a few inches off the ground because 1) they are very heavy and if you drop it, you only want it falling a few inches and 2) there’s just less flailing if they can see the ground.
after awkwardly shuffle-walking to the curb, set the turtle down (gently) and watch it waddle into the undergrowth!
You did it!
Thank you for the helpful guide! This is almost completely right except for one very important thing: if you absolutely have to pick up the turtle, please make sure you do so by gripping the underside of the shell and support the body as well. As you note, snapping turtles are squishy and heavy and just gripping the top shell can put undue stress on the joints where the bottom shell joins and it can separate causing damage and pain.
Also pro tip: keep heavy leather work gloves in your car and use them. It won't stop them from biting (they can bite your finger clean off) but it will help protect against the claws and give you more confidence in your grip.
i'm STILL not over
#Tortoises are a type of turtle
MOTHER FUCKER WHAT
#wait until someone tells them that toads are a type of frog
i cannot be expected to live like this
D&D has given me a lot in the short time that I've been playing and the few times I've DM'd. Dispite it all, though, I still get stupidly happy when I buy a new dice set and roll the d20 for the first time.
The roll was a 14, I have picked a reasonable set.
It has come to my attention that when annoyed or angry, please treat me like a cat.
Please blink slowly at me, give me treats and play games with me.
As someone who has had low self-esteem for forever and who worried about coming out to my friends and family, I took on a saying to push through it.
People who care don't matter, and people who matter don't care.
It means that no matter how you identify, no matter where you fall in the lgbtqia+ community, no matter your race or ethnicity. The people who matter won't care. They won't be 'put off', or see you as any less. You matter to them, and no matter what they don't care.
The people who do care, the people who raise a fuss and make you feel less. The people who want to change you or who ignore all of you, those are the people who don't matter.
It sounds kinda corny, but it's gotten me through some rough times.
The fact that I didn't understand what Divinyls' I Touch Myself and Love Shack by The B-52's, until my early twenties should have been a give away to my ace-ness. But owe be me!
I'm a dumbass.
I know where I am. I know where I'm going. It's just the between that's hard.
Why must I still crash on sugar as an adult? Let me eat nothing but dried fruitloops and softdrinks for breakfast without the consequences.
I don't need to deal with my dissociation. My dissociation deals with me.
I've heard a lot of things from people who have no desire to change their views on gender. From them trying to argue via "biology" to them straight out telling you it's a mental illness.
The one thing I haven't heard that I did today?
"If someone who claims to use they or identifying as non-binary comes up to me, I'm only asking them, 'what deodorant do you use'?"
And honestly, the first thing I thought of was, 'bold of you to assume I'm not just some swamp monster'.