Days seemed to drag on as I watched my brother get bullied and my mom lose her job. Ultimately our house burned to the ground.
I couldnāt go out in public, let alone school.
I sat alone in my room, most days, pondering the worth of my life. I quit praying because if God were real, why would he do this?
I was suspended from the cheerleading squad and people told me that I was āasking for itā and would āget what was coming.ā
Why would I even want to believe in a God? Why would a God even allow this to happen? I lost all faith in religion and humanity. I saw myself as ugly, inside and out. If I was this ugly on the inside, then why shouldnāt everyone see the ugly I saw?
I burned and carved the ugly I saw into my arms, wrists, legs and anywhere I could find room.
On Twitter and Facebook, I was called a skank and a liar and people encouraged me to kill myself. Twice, I did try to take my own life.
When I went to a dance competition I saw a girl there who was wearing a T-shirt she made. It read: āMatt 1, Daisy 0.ā
These are the consequences for someone who has been raped. These are the consequences for a rape survivor of a decision someone else has made, that their victimās humanity and integrity is less important than their own entitlement and desire to dominate.Ā