Selfemployedmess says, "Hi."

i am new to tumblr and really don't know what I'm doing here. i really like it though and will gradually look for what I could contribute to this platform and it's users 🤍 you can join me.

[selfemployedmess]

People don't look at me long enough to learn about me. They don't stop to observe me, find out my likes, dislikes, what makes me click, what saddens me, or anything else. People don't look at me long enough to see I have so much love to offer. I hoped it wasn't true but it is true that I am not pretty enough to make one's eyes linger. To attract and to keep this attention. And so no one will ever get to know me, and all my romance will dry up.

[selfemployedmess]

My parents have raised a useless child. Can't even do a little bit of what they've done for me for them.

[selfemployedmess]

February 15, 2026

I don't think abstaining from things really does any good. What's the point of holding back from things you want to do in life with the pretext of "It's not good for me" when you don't really know what the future holds anyway? Whether there is a future at all? I used to think "You Only Live Once" is used to indulge in nonsense but it's true, isn't it? Life is short. You do live only once. What's the point of holding back?

As long as you don't negatively impact other people, it should be fine, right?

[selfemployedmess]

December 26, 2025

How would you connect with the world if you couldn't see it?

There is so much information we absord with our eyes. And each piece lines our memory.

So how would we connect if we couldn't see it? This is not a groundbreaking experience. There are several in this world who live it already. Is the world beautiful to them? Or is it ugly? This is plain curiosity. It's laced with fear.

When a character in a story says, "I didn't need to see them to recognize them from their footsteps, or their breathing, or their scent, or their voice, or their touch," I always wonder, "Such bold claims," what would it be like if they never knew what they looked like in the first place? What picture do you paint in your head when you hear their footsteps, when you feel their breathing, when you smell their scent, or hear their voice, or touch them?

I am so desperately dependent on what things looks like and what image to paint in my head. But what image do people paint when they never knew the colours or the shapes?

There are countless assumptions we make based one what we see. But what if we couldn't see?

I cannot help but ask myself, "How different is their world from yours? How different would your world have been if you could never see? And how different will your world be if you stopped seeing it after having done so for a good chunk of your life?" And I'm scared to know.

[selfemployedmess]

December 18, 2025

Every year I think about how deeply a person can impact another person.

And parasocially?

Is it actually okay for someone to shed tears for another, if they never met?

And the person shedding these tears didn't exist for the other. Not in their mind, their heart, or their world. Maybe briefly in a song.

No matter how hard they try, they really can never reach each other, like the earth and the moon. And even more so now, because one of them has ceased to exist.

But can such superficial ties move people to genuine tears and sadness? Maybe. Maybe it can. Maybe it did. I'm sure it did.

Beneath these tears and sadness, there was once love. There is still love. It should be that way until one is forgotten, or until they meet again, this time face to face, and not just in spirit, or parasocially.

[selfemployedmess]

December 16, 2025

Ever felt a sharp pain upon seeing an old photograph of yourself with people you are no longer in touch with?

I am not in touch by a difficult choice I made. I broke a person's heart and live in fear everyday expecting a kind of retribution that'll ruin me. But I deserve it. It's the cost of salvaging pieces of me off of a burning bridge. I saved myself and ran alone. That I don't regret. But I think everyday, and worry, If I could've done it a bit gentler? More humanely? And that sharp pain has turned into fear now. I feel nausea. I wish the photo would dissappear out of my sight again. I wish the person would disappear out of my head again. Guilt and regret I can tolerate, fear I cannot. I am afraid. So afraid. Have you ever felt it? Have you?

[selfemployedmess]

Hi to you reading this.

I have been feeling terrible. Yes, terrible and dumb. And I feel everything around me is designed to make me dumber, and lose motivation and focus and everything remotely human and good in life. Like most addictions, the start point for me would be "Well I chose it, didn't I?" But thinking a little bit, retrospectively, did I really have a choice? To not choose something that is designed to "make things more convenient" or to "make life easier"? Like, clearly I'm not the only one who thinks that pausing, or even slowing down would mean not being able to catch up with the crowd, but where tf are they headed? Why am I rushing there? Can't I like just walk slowly, enjoy the sights, get there eventually? If you thought, "Well, why not? It's your life right?" No, you're wrong. You know what those rushing are taking with them? Money and monetary opportunities. I neither have the money, nor those survival skills to not want money, or monetizable skills to like create the monetary opportunities for myself. I'm absolutely cooked and afraid.

Any advice?

[selfemployedmess]

Overthinking and anxiety are partners in crime.

[selfemployedmess]

I could say "Hi" but why would I do that when I can send you a song instead.

Here's a list of my current favs :

I am not who I was - Chance Peña

Sun to Me - Zach Bryan

Something, somehow, someday - ROLE MODEL

Blowing smoke - Gracie Abrams

Watermelon Moonshine - Lainey Wilson

Omg!! This is such a meaningful introduction. I was so excited, but then I also got a bit overwhelmed because "how can I respond to this in a meaningful way??"

I don't think you will be disappointed to know that mine don't overlap with yours (yet!).

But here’s what I'm gonna do. Listen to all of them and get back to you to connect through them. Meanwhile, here are some songs in my head right now...

1. Maestro - Onew

2. Deja Vu - Taemin

3. Situations - DaniLeigh

4. Igloo - Kissoflife

5. Hopeless Valentine - Daiseychain

(There are more but I'll keep to 5 too!!)

Thanks for this ❤️

I hope I find more ways to connect with you in future too!! ✨️

[selfemployedmess]

Happy storyteller saturday!

Do you listen to any music when you are writing, or when trying to get in the mood for writing? What kinds of music?

Omg It's you ❤️❤️

Happy storyteller saturday!!

Thanks of asking these questions and giving me a chance to yap away.

I listen to a lot of music.There is no fixed genre to be real with you.

Often when I'm discovering new pieces or relistening to the old ones, I pay attention to the lyrics and sometimes I find the perfect lyrics ro describe whatever situation my characters are in. That helps me visualise scenes better and finally write it down. I find myself pausing through the piece to match with it and that makes me quite annoying to be around haha. (This also happens when I'm reading something btw) (Like "wow how is there a song for this??" types)

I also get new ideas when listening to some songs. Like the perpetual "What if??" Helps with brainstorming.

But I don't think I sit down for focused writing with a random ass playlist playing on the side. I can't hear myself think that way.

I do, on occasion (writer's block), listen to curated writing/reading playlists on youtube or spotify, or simply classical music or just pretty music (no singing) playlists to get the process started.

Thanks for asking this ask. You've successfully reminded me to sit down and write. ✨️

(I cannot be sorry enough for subjecting you to a wall of text. My apologies 👉👈)

[selfemployedmess]

Today, I finally managed to complete some tasks after procrastinating and overthinking and being physically incapable of doing them for a couple of days. The heaviness has not subsided since I clicked the submit button. I feel nauseous. But there is a little bit of relief. But I also feel like crying. What is wrong with me. But at least it's done for now.

[mountainsoftreatos]

"Would anyone want to read --" Listen, imma stop you right there. Yes. YES, someone would want to read that. You write that weird little fucked up story. Or that domestic little slice of life story. That drabble or that 300k monster.

I promise someone wants to read it.

[selfemployedmess]

Write it.

Even if you think it's only you who will read it (and like it).

Believe it or not, there are several weirdos in this world like you, who would like to read your work (and like it). ✌️

[denise-elviras]

''what if my writing isn't good eno--'' what if it's a reflection of your soul. what if it has a place in this world. what if you write it anyway

[rudamaruda520]

me as a writer

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

just putting it out there, but-

you don't need "a whole story around it" for it to be a work of art

[selfemployedmess]

😭

[selfemployedmess]

Happy STS!

Do your characters have any favorite foods? If so what are they and why do they like them?

Is this.... my first ask?? Omg @indoorghost thanks for asking me. Hehe. Happy STS to you too. ❤️

Right now I am working with just vibes, I guess. I don't have a solid story/plot. I have a couple of main characters sure and I'm trying to swim in some serious romance waters. But so far I've got like names?? And a general idea of what they must be like trait wise!! Even a bit of what's up with them. So naturally, I haven't really thought about their favourite foods. 😭😭

So my main ML is this happy-go-lucky cutesy funny type person who likes to be pampered, but can also be extremely passionate when he is trying to solve mysteries, or romantically pursuing an older woman, my main FL (not that much older than him), who has forgotten what's it's like to be easygoing because she's gone through some sh"t.

So if I had to choose really, I'd say contrary to his fluffy character, ML likes to binge on serious spicy food, especially when he experiences any forms of setbacks. And my FL secretly enjoys eating sweets because that keeps her connected to her peaceful past with her loving fam before the sh*t went down. 🤔

I think I'll start looking into my main characters more deeply after this point so I can flesh them out entirely. Hehe.

Thanks once again. 👉👈

What's up with your characters in the food territory?? 😊😊

[melloncolliegalaxies]

[selfemployedmess]

Every hour, every minute, every second,

You know night after night

I'll be poking, you write, any day a week.

[selfemployedmess]

The number of things I've forgiven myself for doing, using the excuse "It's for reference", is offensive now.