Selcouth

21. Always in between.

[selyado]

1. FRANCES HA

[bigmesses]

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These days, we go to waste like wine that’s turned to turpentine. It’s six a.m. and I’m all messed up.

[wordsnquotes]

She was free in her wildness. She was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and to no city.

Roman Payne, The Wanderess (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

[selyado]

First hike.

Mt. Pico de Loro, Ternate, Cavite

[selyado]

The mountains are calling

so I shall go home

[selyado]

“for whatever we lose (like a you or a me) it's always ourselves we find in the sea.” ― E.E. Cummings, 100 Selected Poems

[deeplifequotes]

I think one of my favorite feelings is laughing with someone and realizing half way through how much you enjoy them and their existence.

Unknown (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

[selyado]

Walang nakapila nung dumating ako.

Me: Ate, That Thing Called Tadhana po.

Ate sa bilihan ng ticket: ILAN?

Me: ISA ATE.

isa isa isaaaaa *echoes all over*

[selyado]

"Most people are never content. That's my problem. That's why I always go out on critical hours of the night, trying not to bump into someone, and then start my usual overthinking." I said, trying to hide some weird feeling because I just bump into you tonight. "So now you're telling me you're content? Being alone? Without anyone but those fictional characters living inside your head? If that's what being content means, I think I will not buy it." you said, straight-forward. I've never met someone so loud with his words. "I mean, I am content NOW. I am twenty, alone in this city and I am happy. There's no law stating that when you're twenty you must have some company with you, right? I think contentment and time is related. I am not rushing. What I have now is enough. Time will come that I will deserve to have someone. I will experience another kind of contentment at the right place, at the right time. I know. But I will never ask for it. For I believe that everyone is bound to have it. I am twenty. Alone but not lonely. But maybe having no one at sixty? that's some sad story." You're looking down, half-smiling, and after a few seconds you said, "I guess you don't have to wait 40 more years. I don't plan to ruin your it's-okay-to-be-alone-at-twenty but.. Eureka! You're now here. With me." That moment there were no butterflies in my stomach. No blush on my cheeks. I just smiled. A smile that's all brand new.

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[selyado]

Finally did it. For my ate Monik.

Pag-amin (Nuna Esguerra cover)

[connotativewords]

If angels really could speak, I swear they must have found a way to manifest themselves into your vocal chords. Because I can’t give any other explanation for what your laugh does to me.

Connotativewords | jl | Higher (via connotativewords)

[selyado]

tagos sa butong lamig//biyernes ng umaga//silog//salabat//paboritong sweater//hamog sa bintana//mga awitin ni norah jones.

[selyado]

12/18/14

a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

— Ecclesiates 3:2-3

Ito yung verse na una kong naisip ilang oras lang ang nakakaraan. Dahil sa loob lang ng isang araw, ipinaalala sa'kin kung gaano katotoo yung "Life's too short" at kung gaano mo dapat pahalagahan ang buhay mo.

Medyo weird yung shift ng mood sa'kin dahil kaninang umaga ay kumanta ako sa Christmas party ng kapatid ko, siyempre celebration tapos party nga tapos pag-dating ng gabi ay kumanta naman ako sa burol ng tito ng ka-churchmate ko. It's like I'm with these little kids then all of a sudden I'm singing beside a dead man. Bigla ko naisip na kaya siguro may 'araw' at 'gabi' ay dahil ganon talaga ang buhay. Hindi pwedeng puro araw lang at mas lalong hindi pwedeng puro gabi. May oras na mabubuhay ka't makikita mo ang liwanag at darating din sa oras na tuluyan mong ipipikit ang mata mo. 

Habang may mahimbing ang tulog, ay may hindi madapuan ng antok..

Habang may tumatawa ay may humihikbi..

Habang may nagpapahinga ay meron ding napapagod..

Habang may nag-aalmusal ay may nag-hahapunan.

Sari-sariling oras lang tayo. Kung  ano mang estado mo sa buhay ngayon, tandaan mong nakasanayan na nating pagkatapos ng gabi ay araw at pagkatapos ng araw ay gabi. Ganoon din tayo, minsan nasa dilim ka at nasa liwanag ako *vice versa*.. Ang tanong lang ay 'Gaano ba natin napahalagahan ang buhay natin o ang buhay ng taong mahal natin sa kabila ng paulit-ulit na pag-gulong nito?' 

Hangga't di pa gasgas, suriin mo, ayusin mo, pahalagahan mo.

Pero kung sakaling nahihirapan ka, baka naman nasa kabilang sulok ako, 

Halika,  akapin kita.

[selyado]

Baka sakali

"Hindi na kita ihahatid, baka pigilan pa kita."

Tumatakbo sa isipan ko ang maraming bagay. Nag-uunahan sila na para bang nasa isang karera. Maingay, magulo at nakaka-nerbyos. Ngunit sa kalagitnaan ay biglang tumigil ang lahat, natahimik ang paligid na parang may madreng dadaan. Hindi ko malaman kung saan, pero maaaring sa telebisyon o sa mga taong nadaan, may narinig ako,

"Hindi na kita ihahatid, baka pigilan pa kita."

Ilang taon na ang lumipas at naaala ko parin kung paano mo hilahin ang bagahe mo habang papalayo ka sa'kin. Niyakap mo ako, umiiyak ako at pilit kitang pinipigilan. Bumulong ako sa'yo, 'Huwag na kaya? Baka pwedeng dito ka nalang'. Pero umalis ka parin. At sa narinig ko ngayon, biglang bumalik na naman ang lahat sa isip ko. Kung paano ko binabagalan ang lakad ko habang hinahatid kita, kung paano ko sasabihin ang 'Paalam. Mag-ingat ka'. Shet. Bumalik na naman.  Naalala ko na naman kung gaano kasakit noong sabihin mong aalis ka na pero mas masakit isipin na kahit pauli-tulit nang bumabalik ang ala-ala mo sa isipan ko, ikaw.. hindi ka parin bumabalik sa'kin.

Saan ba ako nagkamali? Masyado ba akong mahina dahil buong buhay ko ipinadama ko sa'yong kailangan kita ngunit hindi ko manlang pinatunayan sa'yo na kailangan mo rin ako?

Kaya naging madali nalang para sa'yong iwan ako..

Kung mauulit lang ang lahat sa umpisa o kahit sa mismong oras na aalis ka na,

Hindi na kita ihahatid,

Hindi na ako magpapaalam,

Baka pigilan pa kita..

Susubukan kong bitinin kita,

baka sakaling bumalik ka pa.

[selyado]

vol 2!!!!

[selyado]