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@sen-sum
going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by “the wildest shit” i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half
“And so Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, and Eve turned to Adam and said, 'Nice going, loser.‘”
iconic
whilst you were listening to avril lavigne, i learned the way of the Lord
Unmute this
FINALLY look at the clarity in everyone one. No longer pixel blots
Oh my gosh click it.
did I ever mention that I know someone whose family owned a zombie dog because that’s some real shit that I get to delight with at parties
Tell us that story?
okay here is the story of the zombie dog
this dog’s name was John. they found him half drowned in a bag of puppies that were not so fortunate as he was, and was taken in immediately. he was a runt and not quite right (most likely from the whole half drowned thing), but a very loving dog. the problem with John was that he smelled like death, and no one knew why. vets couldn’t figure it out. it was obviously some kind of skin problem, but they had no idea what kind. all anyone knew was that if you touched him, you would smell like death too, so you couldn’t pet him, and that for some reason, the only thing that made the smell go away was being around other dogs. so they got another dog and the death smell stopped and John lived a very happy life
when he was getting old, maybe about 15 years, part of his skull caved in. just like that! suddenly had a huge dent in his head! and he was totally fine. didn’t notice it, didn’t affect him at all. just this massive dent right there in his head where his skull had collapsed in on his brain, and he was still the happiest and most loving dog. the skull cave in, for whatever reason, caused the ear on that side of his head to just fall off entirely, but again, perfectly happy dog who did not know he was down an ear and a fully formed skull. they took him to the vet, thinking maybe they should put him down. I mean, wouldn’t you think so? but the vet said that the dog was eating, and pooping, and happy, so there was no reason to put him down, so they didn’t
but that’s not even the weird part. the weird part is the area of the brain that got caved in on was apparently the area that registers pain, so this one-eared, collapsed skull dog could no longer feel any pain. he got old, his joints got stiff, his teeth rotted out of his head, his tongue hung out of his mouth and got black and hard, and he felt none of it! in fact, he was happier than he’d ever been feeling no pain, and the fact that he didn’t feel how much he was falling apart somehow made him live until he was 23. that’s right, the collapsed skull, one eared, zero teeth, smells like literal death when alone dog lived to be 23 years old. they used to joke that he’d been dead for years, but was too stupid to realize it yet
and that’s the story about the literal zombie dog my friend’s family owned
I'n simultaneously delighted, alarmed, a little horrified and impressed all at once.
tbh America is passing bullshits laws just to be passing bullshit laws at this point
name something purer than this. i’ll wait
I’m cryingggg
I can’t believe I’ve been alive long enough to see the rise and now fall of Club Penguin
Dogs are too pure honestly
🌍🌎🌏
This is the Earths theme tune🙌🏻
thank u for ur contribution, Iceland
get reck’t sister Gertrude
the authors of this textbook were clearly high as a kite when they wrote this chapter
WEENIE SPEED HOIYL FUC
Weenie factor 8 Mr sulu
These 3D holographs excite me.
SOMEBODY LITERALLY INVENTED HOLOGRAMS
I 100% think that if you went inside, you would walk into a normal sized one. It would be seemingly normal, with everyday employees and shoppers. And you’d wander around and almost forget the weird beginning of this adventure, buy a DVD, and then step back out into this field.
Everyone’s got somebody.
