This is just the minimal aspect of how being transfem affects my work. I have to turn down full-time employment for my safety. I know to do this because of my experiences, because of me and my transfem friends being wrongly accused of abuse, accusations which are acted on because we are trannies, accusations that follow us around the industry.
Do you want to know why I was accused of creating a toxic environment? Of being an abuser? Of being transphobic?
I told someone to stop referring to me with "they"
Their defence? "I call everyone they"
But because theatre is a queer industry^tm this act was me being hostile and transphobic.
Because theatre is a queer industry^tm the nonbinary person degendering me couldn't be transphobic.
In queer spaces^tm trans women cannot be the targets of transphobia, trans women instead MUST be the perpetrators.
I have had confirmed work withdrawn because of threats of withdrawn funding, I have had workplaces stop employing me because I transitioned, I have had communities cut me out because I was "transphobic" for speaking up for myself.
Anyway support a trans woman in theatre, help make up for the attacks on my person and the loss of income because of it.
Support LXLadies
I bet people are gonna doubt if all I did was tell someone to not degender me, and it's because I'm a trans woman speaking out.
But they won't acknowledge that.
My response to the job offer below the cut.
Hi there *****, sorry to do this double back but having had time to process everything, I'm gonna withdraw my interest in the job. I want to be upfront and honest with why, although it might be difficult to hear and accept.
The work is really appealing, the variety presented with the consistency of work is a real highlight for me.
However, as an Autistic, Trans woman, the impression of the work environment I got has sent up some red flags about my safety if I were to accept. I appreciate the idea of leave your politics at home, but my existence and body means that I cannot do that in the current climate.
When I am being forced out of safe existence in public life by legislation and hate campaigns, a policy of last in first out means my security in the job would never be guaranteed, and for it to be even remotely secure I would need to suffer microaggressions and verbal violence at the very least, which would have a potentially lethal effect on my mental health and wellbeing.
With the country in a position where it is accepted and protected for people to enact violence against me I need to work with employers who I believe would vocally and visibly stand in solidarity with me if I were to be subject to hateful abuse instead of terminating my employment if my presence were to cause conflict.
I do not expect anything from this, I appreciate you may want to reassure me that I would be safe but the damage is already done and without another Trans Woman specifically commending the environment it would not be able to assuage my fears.
I do not expect you you change any policies either, Trans Woman are not common in our industry and there would be no reason for you to do so for a tiny demographic of potential employees especially if the current policies are fit for purpose of team cohesion.
I only hope you take this as intended, a well meaning piece of feedback from a member of a minority group.
Reading Julia Serano's works is very helpful if you would like more information.
Eryka Caldwell is a back trans woman who was murdered by her partner in her apartment last Sunday, and the story is getting a fraction of the attention that the murder of Juniper Blessing did. The police had already been called several times about her partners violence before her murder and did nothing, and she deserves the same outrage and mourning as Juniper got, and every one of our murdered trans siblings deserves. Trans women of color are more likely to be the victims of murder than any other group of queer people, and they need our solidarity, protection and support.
Caldwell’s boyfriend, 38-year-old Jonathan Fernandez, has been charged with murder.
Every time I bring up my belief that a transfem is oppressed before she or anyone else realizes she's transfem to tme people, I universally get met with skepticism or even outright hostility.
Every time I bring it up to transfems, I get immediate positive acknowledgement. I have had so many girls tell me awful stories from their egg days, some more awful than I could have ever imagined.
Even those of us without stories from the beforetimes still wear the scars. Regularly I'll come across transfems who don't remember huge parts of their pre-hatch life. Regularly I'll come across transfems with self worth so low they see being objectified as a compliment. Regularly I'll come across traumagenic plural transfems who have had their psyche shattered from childhood trauma. (this is kind of a self report considering we are or have been all of these lol)
The reason TME people don't want to acknowledge this reality is because they are complicit in it. They were the ones traumatizing us, and they haven't stopped. Trauma is not inherent to transfeminine existence, it is a product of the transmisogyny these people refuse to admit exists.
I legitimately don't remember 99% of my life before high school and even those first few years before e are very blurry. From what I can remember, I basically got clocked as an autistic tranny weirdo in kindergarten and just wasn't allowed to have friends after that. Every time someone who knew me back then talks about things I can't remember I feel bad when I tell them that it's a blank for me, especially when they acknowledge how different of a person I am now, like, whoever I was died.
A trans sex worker named Puppy over 50 years ago getting murdered inspiring her to act more deliberately and collectively for the safety of trans sex workers. "...the start of her activism...."
"Since no one was going to do it for us, we had to do it for ourselves."
Stonewall became the epicenter of rebellion because it was one of the few queer bars that let trans women in.
The article also touches on how drag balls were originally created by trans women for trans women.
The entire subculture was appropriated by cis gay men in the late 60's who then barred trans women from participating.
The "queer culture" that so many tme people are eager to preserve is a culture of our exclusion. They're eager to take the art we create, the movements we start, they're glad to have us fight for their rights, and then kick us to the curb while saying it's "not the time" for our rights to be defended. They sing the praises of women like Miss Major while attending "afab only" events. They talk about how awful the abuse of trans sex workers is in "afab only" support groups. They cry about the plight of homeless "trans people" while sleeping in "afab only" shelters.
They love to talk about all the good Miss Major, and many other trans women, have done while actively contributing to our exclusion and oppression. Its very clear that they do not love women like Miss Major.
We are the Omelas Children of the queer world. Their gains are built on our suffering.
"Since no one was going to do it for us, we had to do it for ourselves."
trans people don't need to hear your justifications for still enjoying harry potter in 2026 stop looking for forgiveness where you're not going to get it
if i walk into your house and see harry potter stuff, i'm just gonna assume you're a transphobe. no amount of "i got it from a charity shop" can save you from the fact that you value those books enough to display them in your home.
you can't just put the work of someone who's currently trying to eradicate trans people on display without being questioned about it, especially if you claim to care about us.
same goes for your social media, if you're willing to keep putting jkr's work on a podium and proudly talking about it, then it's simply logical to believe that you don't care about other people. it's selfish if i'm being honest, to think that your comfort matters more than the lives of millions.
and to the trans people saying that they're "reclaiming harry potter for the trans community"
no you're not, you can't do that while jkr and her neo nazi friends are currently trying to kill you. you need to let go or else your own community won't be happy to help you when our collective rights are stripped further away.
trans children in the uk are killing themselves because of the things jkr has done.
children are dead. children who should be happy and free to be themselves are fucking dead because jkr has used her immense wealth and social power to change laws specifically to harm trans people. if you really think that your fucking "comfort characters" are more important than the lives of children then you should say that with your full chest. go on. tell the entire world that you don't give a fuck about dead kids. that you don't have an ounce of empathy in your disgusting shrivelled heart, because you still have your shitty fucking books and your garbage movies. your comfort matters more than anything, doesn't it? maybe jkr will tell you you're one of the good ones, wouldn't that be nice?
once i was in the TSA line for a flight and it was SO LONG that TSA decided to just drop all the security protocols. leave everything in the suitcase including electronics. keep your shoes on. don't go through the fancy 360 scanner, just the metal detector. get out of here. and i was like ohhhh so you admit this is all just your stupid community theatre production that you've made me be a part of for all this time and it doesn't actually mean anything real. okayyyyy
For context, this is Jewish actor Miriam Margolyes. A self-identified dyke,she was professor sprout in the harry potter movies but she's been extremely prolific over five decades. She's pro trans and pro Palestinian.
"Whipping Girl fails to consider the experiences of trans women of color. Modern transfeminists need to reckon with this and work hard to ensure that trans women of color are represented and fought for in their movement." -> True! Important!
"Whipping Girl fails to consider the experiences of trans women of color. Therefore, transmisogyny isn't real." -> Anti-feminist nonsense.
hi... due to my poor (worsening, it seems.) health situation i had another crappy month where i've gotten through nowhere near enough of my work and i am in a really awful spot financially, which is to say right now i can't afford rent, pain medicine (and i am in dire need of it right now 😔), phone bill, or groceries. i have no choice but to ask for help if it's not a problem and isn't going to put you in a bad spot financially in turn.
i need $700 overall (usd) to have all of that taken care of, but anything, even a little bit, helps and lets me eat and not be in a ton of pain all day and thus hopefully sort things out as best i can. i also really appreciate sharing.
paypal.me/jupitervivi
thank you and i'm sorry for taking your time with this. have a silly amity
"shinigami eyes is an extension for trans people-"
nope, sorry, it's for transfems specifically.
"-to check accounts for transphobia-"
you mean transmisogyny.
"but trans women started using it to-"
it was ours to begin with.
"-mark innocent people red."
mark transmisogynists red. you don't think they're transmisogynists because you don't take transfems seriously.
can you find someone marked red, look me in the eyes, and honestly tell me they haven't done any of the following:
-said men are oppressed/misandry is an issue
-defended afab-only spaces
-opposed transfeminists
-claimed transfeminist terminology is an attack on other marginalized groups
-spread rumors about a transfem being a predator without evidence
-participated in lolcowing a transfem
-tried to reclaim femboy culture as a non-transfem
-defended male socialization theory
-implied transfems are generally dangerous
-accused a transfem of being an evil pervert while excusing non-transfems engaging in similar kinks
-claimed transmascs have no privilege or power over transfems
-claimed most transfeminists are white/bourgeoisie
-called trans women bitches, cunts, or racial slurs
because any of that is a valid reason for a transfem to not trust you. i cannot stress that enough. any single one of those is a good enough reason for a random transfem to signal to others "be cautious." and if you can't understand why transfems are wary around people like this, you need to make an effort to learn.
Bit of an addendum to this. It seems that this feature *can* be disabled/hidden by going into settings -> general settings -> replies -> share comments from (blog name here)
To my transfem sisters that worry for their safety on this platform, I'm begging you to turn this feature off as it shows your blogs entire comment history, and knowing how unsafe this platform can be for us, features such as this can be used against us to further segregate, and vilify us under entirely false pretences.
in new zealand, our evil government are trying to legislate definitions of women and men, in ways that are legally incoherent but clearly trying to pave the way for more horrifically transphobic legislation. we have an election in a few months but our main opposition party, and all our mainstream news media, are so spineless and cooked that there's a good chance the ghouls will win reelection.
it took 2 whole months for local terf group 'speak up for women' to get 2,000 signatures on the petition that led to this new bill in our parliament.
it's taken five days for this pro-trans 'they don't speak for us' petition to get 17,000 signatures.
this is a show of support that is really heartening for a lot of trans people in our corner of the world.
cis/ish women, if you're from here but haven't signed yet, please do. and if you're not from here and you know any new zealanders, could you send them this petition? a full fifth of our population lives overseas, and there's a good chance they don't follow the news.
gummygunk
areudirty
pixelskylines
kaledo-art
dededos
