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EXPECTATIONS

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CD sampling booths c.2000s
My only complaint about the African teams at the World Cup is that they don’t play with enough malice. They need to go on a foreign exchange in Latin America and get an internship at the Copa Libertadores to learn the evil, anti-sportsmanship tactics that will finally grant us a Senegal vs Cabo Verde WC Final in 2038
The evil forbidden Libertadores tactics are:
If you’re winning: every player on the squad goes back to defend the goal, forming an impenetrable barrier. The second a player sees the ball, they kick it up to the fucking sun, stopping any play from the opposing team. If the ref sprays down a foul line, a few players distract them while another covertly erases the line. No beautiful game, just pure fuckery
If you’re still losing with <5 mins left in the game: fucking start fouling everyone on the opposing team, send them to the next round with every star player injured, knocking them out with your fists if you can’t knock them out via football. Make sure they don’t even have enough viable players to continue the tournament. Turn the field into an 11 v 11 MMA fight
no idea if I make any sense grammatically
Imitation of Christ, Spring 2024