🪐marauders🪐

but mostly sirius black | he/him

[seriously-siriusblack]

Sirius: You want a big 'I said the wrong thing' sort of an apology or... can we take that as said?

Remus: I'd quite like the apology actually

Sirius: You were right

Remus: *puts down book* Not good enough. I want a proper apology

Sirius: No

Remus: With the little dance

Sirius: I don't do the dance

Remus: I did the 'i was wrong' dance in 3rd year, in 5th when i broke a Bowie record, a month ago when I called you annoying-

Sirius: Fine. *does a fruity little dance while singing* You were right, you were right, i was wrong, you were righT. Okay?

Remus: Very nice

[whoopsiesnodaisies]

James: Guess what number I’m thinking of. Regulus: 420? James: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously. Lily: 69. James: Yeah it was 69.

[seriously-siriusblack]

Remus: I fell-

Sirius: From heaven?

Remus: No, i literally fell-

Sirius: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Remus: I BROKE MY ARM!

Sirius: Okay, but do you think im pretty? Be honest.

[seriously-siriusblack]

Sirius: My head hurts.

Remus: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

[seriously-siriusblack]

Sirius: I'd say im pretty masculine. I like manly things like sports and meat and-

Remus: *enters the room*

Sirius: other men.

[seriously-siriusblack]

Sirius: *holding a video camera* James, I think you should play the role of my father.

James: I don't want to be your father.

Sirius: That's perfect. You already know your lines.

[seriously-siriusblack]

Sirius, holding a barbie: *high pitched voice* Hi Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Remus, holding a Ken doll: *deep voice* Nonsense Barbie. You're staying home and having my kids.

James: What the fuck are you guys doing?

Remus: Playing systematic oppression.

[seriously-siriusblack]

Sirius: I'M BREAKING THE WINDOW!

Remus: *on the phone* We locked our friend's baby in the car and people are judging us!

Sirius: I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA BREAK IT!

Remus: Do not break the window! You'll get glass on him.

Phone operator: Sir, please tell your wife to relax. Everything is going to be okay.

Remus: That's a man.

Operator: Really?

Sirius: DON'T WORRY HARRY PADS IS COMING FOR YOU!

[seriously-siriusblack]

Sirius: Mom's in town.

Remus: Your mom?

Sirius: No. No, your mom. She's back from the grave.

Remus: My mom would be less scary.

[seriously-siriusblack]

~ Marauders and co. as Gina Linetti quotes ~

James: How was I supposed to know there'd be consequences for my actions?

Sirius: I have great hair and I love lying.

Remus: Why don't you do the right thing and jump out a window.

Peter: Yes, I heard, and that's how I know I don't care.

Lily: The english language cannot fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts.

Mary: Do you know how many basic bitches would kill to have my personality?

Marlene: No hard feelings. But I hate you. Not joking, bye!

[seriously-siriusblack]

~ Marauders and co. as Jake Peralta quotes ~

James: I'm cute about everything.

Sirius: Anyways, I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom. Peace out homies.

Remus: Oh yeah, the guy without a daddy is the one with daddy issues! Explain that logic.

Peter: 'Be myself' what kind of garbage advice is that?

Lily: *talking about exams* Come on. Why doesn't my life always work out perfectly?

Mary: I am way too sleep deprived to deal with your negativity right now.

Marlene: Men are horrible and the world is a nightmare.

[seriously-siriusblack]

Remus: So not only did you go to a cop raided party, but you started the raid?

James and Sirius: Yes.

Remus: The fence is broken because of you. The crap all over the ground is because of you.

Sirius: What's your point?

Remus: Did you ever know you're my heroes?

James, offended: Oh my God!

[seriously-siriusblack]

Sirius: Am I in trouble?

Mcgonagall: Have a guess.

Sirius: No?

Mcgonagall: Have another guess.

[seriously-siriusblack]

~ Marauders and co. as Winston Bishop quotes ~

James: They call me prank sinatra

Sirius: Sometimes I feel like I never really felt love, you know? You know?

Remus: I'm just staying positive, but um... I'm pretty sure this is where we die.

Peter: There are parts of my butt only a tub can clean.

Lily: I'm worried about Sirius, he's a posh boy in the desert. I don't want him to wander.

Mary: You know, break up with him. That's an option. I was thinking, like, I'll kill his cat.

Marlene: I have inside jokes with my pet.

[seriously-siriusblack]

*morning post arrives in the great hall*

Sirius: It's from my mother.

Remus: What is it?

Sirius: It's heavy. Must be all her hopes and dreams for me.

[seriously-siriusblack]

James: Some people ask 'why',

Sirius: *bouncing on a trampoline with a pogo stick*

Sirius: *licking a bubble wand*

James: Sirius asks 'why not'

[seriously-siriusblack]

Lily: So, here's my number. Don't make me regret giving it to you

James: Wow so that's your number? Huh, I was so close