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@sexed4real
Do you have advice on dealing with anxiety?
Hi anon,
Thank you for your question. Having anxiety is common and nothing to be ashamed of. We are not mental health professionals here at Sex. Etc. so we cannot provide specific information on this topic. However, we recommend talking to a parent, guardian, trusted adult or counselor about how you are feeling. You may also find this resource helpful. Remember, you deserve support!
I hope this helps.
Some of our favorites from the last 2 months, on Contact
11 Reasons Your ‘Concern’ for Fat People’s Health Isn’t Helping Anyone
[Image: A fair skin person with long reddish-brown hair that falls to the left looks ahead as they stand in front on a window with light shining through. They are wearing a green, brown and tan mixed print blouse and long silver and bronze necklace.]
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism.com and is reprinted by permission.
“I’m just concerned about their health.”
“I’m a feminist, but I don’t think fat is a feminist issue.”
“I’m body-positive, but I don’t believe in glorifying obesity.”
“I think people of size deserve respect, but I think they’d find it easier if they were thin.”
“Studies have shown that obesity is the second leading cause of preventable death, so I can’t support that lifestyle.”
Stop.
Concern trolling – which is the act of a person participating “in a debate posing as an actual or potential ally who simply has concerns they need answered before they will ally themselves with a cause” – is something we see all too often, even on our very own Everyday Feminism Facebook page.
And most often, we get these sort of “But isn’t this freedom actually kinda dangerous for society?” comments on articles that we post about fat acceptance and body liberation.
Read more…
11 Things You Should Do When Managing Both Anxiety & Depression
[Image: A person sits looking out of a window with their faced turned towards the outdoors. They are wearing a sweater and jeans with long brown hair. Pexels.com]
Anxiety and depression are concerns effecting billions of people across the globe. They impacts our lives, our thinking and our happiness. Having gone through depression, I know it can be difficult to bring yourself back to the way you were. But, the good thing is that while it takes time, the very minute you decide to change things you instantly feel better and begin to see hope once again. All you need is persistence and the will to improve your situation. Here’s what I learned during my journey from depressed back to lively:
Be kind to yourself
There were so many times when I tried to shake off my anxiety and felt frustrated with myself for continuing to feel this way. It took a while and a lot of research on depression and anxiety for me to realize that these feelings are just another type of injury.
When we fracture a leg, we don’t get upset with ourselves or force ourselves to walk anyway; instead we try not to burden our leg so it heals quickly. Similarly, with anxiety and depression our hearts, minds and souls are going through turmoil and must be cared for if we wish to recover.
Read more…
Always.
(Don’t). Series of comments that force gender roles on men.
~ Condoms ~ Condoms ~ Condoms ~
OK people, we have a really important thing to say about this. OK. Ready?
If you get antibiotics to treat an STD YOU REALLY GOTTA TAKE ALL OF THEM AS DIRECTED. Even if you feel a bit better, or a sore heals up, or whatever. Seriously. When you do not take all of your meds you may not actually clear up your infection. And what happens then? THIS:
Health officials have been warning us about the threat of “super gonorrhea“—a strain of the sexually transmitted disease that is resistant to all known antibiotics—for over a year. But the superbug is here, much faster than previously anticipated. On Wednesday the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced a cluster of gonorrhea infections that shows both decreased susceptibility to ceftriaxone and very high-level resistance to azithromycin. It’s the first time this superbug has been found in the U.S.
Saw this was making the rounds again, so we’re reposting!
Because abortions aren't the only way the patriarchy wants to control your junk
OBGYN: Yeah, you are exhibiting all the signs of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I’m so sorry.
Me: Huh? Oh, yeah. Insulin resistance, impossible weight loss, pre-disposition to type II diabetes, painful AF periods. Likelihood of bleed outs. Crap. That blows.
OBGYN: Yeah, well that too.
Me: *blinks* What?
OBGYN: Well, PCOS makes it very difficult for a woman to conceive and carry.
Me: BWHAHAHAHA. Yeah. No. No babies. Ever. Never wanted them. At all. Maternal instinct is not strong with this one. Only upside today.
OBGYN: Well then. Not exactly problem solved, but we’ll run with it.
Me: So about the MIND-SEARING PAIN and occasional HEAVY AF BLEEDING. When can we deal with that.
OBGYN: Not until you are 35.
Me: Dah fuq?
OBGYN: Not my rules. Hospitalization won’t even consider any treatment unless it’s life or death until you’re 35.
Me: Why?
OBGYN: Because you might want to have a baby.
Me: I’m 31. I didn’t want kids when I was 11, I didn’t want them at 21, and I sure as shit don’t want them now. Can’t I just sign a form that says “I don’t ever want a baby take it out, take it out now”?
OBGYN: Nope.
Me: Why?
OBGYN: Government rules. No removal of baby making parts before 35 unless your life is in immediate jeopardy.
TL;DR: The government knows better about your baby making parts than you do.
This is just evil. They are literally refusing to treat a potentially life-threatening condition, not just without the patient’s consent but despite the patient’s protest. Evil.
According to the National Women’s Health Network, there’s no legal age restriction- “Technically, any woman of legal age can consent to the procedure, but it should be medically justified. It’s incredibly unlikely that a doctor will perform a hysterectomy on women ages 18-35 unless it is absolutely necessary for their well-being and no other options will suffice.” Of course, this is in the US. Other countries may have different rules.
If you’re in the US and your OBGYN says “government says no,” look for a new one because they lied to you. If your OBGYN says that “hospital says no,” look for a new one because this one doesn’t respect your bodily autonomy. It is true that most surgeons don’t like to perform hysterectomies until you’re in your late 30s at the earliest, but a respectful surgeon will listen to their patient and not just write them off. Sexism in hospitals is alive and well- and it’s not just anecdotal evidence. There’s been a history of looking at it academically/professionally since the 70s (look into Mary Halas as a good place to start if you’re curious), and it crops up all the time in articles in the Journal of Women’s Health and Women’s Health Issues, and the International Journal of Women’s Health all of which are peer-reviewed, well-respected medical journals. It’s absolutely a real thing.
Anyways, I guess what I’m getting at is this: here’s a list of doctors (mostly US-centric) who perform different sterilization surgeries without giving their patients trouble. While even a surgeon on this list might caution anyone under 35 away from a hysterectomy, at the end of the day it’s your body and your pain. (And some of the docs here have been known to perform hysterectomies on people in their 20s with no fuss.) While this list won’t be practical for everyone- after all, medical treatment is ridiculously expensive in this country, it might help someone.
Whenever I try to masturbate and finger myself, I can never seem to orgasm. I also can almost never go into my vagina without feeling really uncomfortable. I know I don't have any STDs or anything like that and I'm a virgin, so I have no point in reference to say if there's any better way. Could you have any idea what may be wrong here?
Hi anon,
Thank you for your question. Everyone is different which means that there is no one right way to experience sexual pleasure. Many people do not actually reach orgasm from penetration of the vagina alone. The clitoris, which is located directly above the vaginal opening, is usually where people with vulvas find the most sexual pleasure.
Masturbation is a great way to learn about your body and discover what feels good and what doesn’t. This may also be helpful for later if you decide to engage in sexual behaviors with a partner, you will be able to communicate about what you like and don’t like.
I hope this helps.
Take care people.
Because I feel like kids of color don’t hear it enough: domestic abuse is not a part of your culture.
A lot of us where raised with the idea that “its normal for wives/children to get hit! it helps them learn– only white folk don’t get beaten when they misbehave”. That’s not true, white people aren’t the only ones who deserve a safe and abuse free environment. Black and brown people can and do have loving families.
If you’re in a situation where you are enduring abuse and people use your culture to justify it, I want you to know that what they’re telling you are lies.
