art blog(derogatory)
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Today's Document
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@sexycosplayerchallenge
Why Haven't I Done This Before?!?!
Where has Meal Prep been all my life?! Yes, I like not so good for me Foods, BUT, I am more lazy than I am addicted to food.
Shout out to Amazon for there super cheap meal prep containers that are microwaveble, dishwasher safe, and stand the test of time.
Kudos to OMG Nashville for these gems that help me get by.
*Deep Breath*
Many exciting and nerve-wracking things are happening in the next few weeks. I take my final in veterinary acupuncture (a 4 hour multiple choice final with 200 questions and a 20 random points out of the 155 points we are supposed to know practical) in 12 days. I am petrified. I feel like I am incapable of memorizing information. It make my 30 year old brain feel so terribly old.________________________ Then when I come back, I start working with a personal trainer that I have contacted. He's a burly house of a man, but seems nice enough. I think it is just what I need to force me into a healthy and active routine. This year's goal is to cosplay Junkrat from Overwatch (specifically his Beachrat skin) for AWA (which is in late September). This means I need to be pretty close to those crazy abs in little over 2 1/2 months. Now, I know that I don't *have* to sport abs to cosplay him. But for me, I want to grow comfortable enough with my body to rock a bare abdomen in a cluster of humans. Either way, I need to try and grow into a healthier human. Here's to the next few weeks!
Sometimes, the hardest thing that we can do is learning to give up those things we have spent so long tirelessly striving for when they are not meant for us. I am just now learning to let go and let myself grow.
Why does everything have to circle the drain before the New Year? It's a conspiracy.
So many shitty cases and so little that I can do for them. The vet life sucks sometimes...
Words to live by.
Poor, sleepy baby post toe amputation. Prayers and well wishes for benign pathology results.<3
Needing some love
This last 2 weeks has been hell. I found a tumor on my doggie's toe that came out of nowhere suddenly. Too high to amputate with the digit easily. I had a long grueling week of waiting on path reports on a biopsy of the area which came back benign but with the caveat that they have no idea what's under the superficial biopsy and that it could be cancerous. I scheduled to get him into the surgery specialist in our area because I'm too much of a sissy and not confident and cannot do it on my baby. He is scheduled for a high toe amputation this coming Tuesday with the toe to go off the pathologist. I'm so nervous and worried about it.
My mom had to go the ER the Sunday before Labor Day with a gall bladder stone and pain, so I spent my day off there last weekend. She's going to have to have surgery for it at some point, another thing to add to the worry list.
I am so terribly exhausted mentally and physically that I simply have nothing else to give. I haven't slept a full night of sleep in the last two weeks.
Diet wise, I've mainted weight loss most likely because I am too nervous and sick to eat much of the time.
I just feel so crushingly hopeless.
So...I'm officially in the 120s again! I haven't seen this side of 120 since 2015. Measurements have stayed pretty stagnant but I am down about an inch overall in the last 2 weeks (skipped a week of measurements and now I'm on my period, so maybe more down??). It's a slow and arduous process. Goal wise, I'm struggling with these ridiculous ideal notions in my head verses what could actually happen. Ideally, I want to see my abs for the first time in my life and feel comfortable wearing leggings without long shirts. I suffer from severe body dysmorphia though and am unsure if I will ever truly feel comfortable in my own skin. Who knows, maybe this is the year?
WHAT THE HELL ARE MACROS?!
Now, if you didn’t already know, I’m a firm believer in IIFYM. IIFYM, or If It Fits Your Macros, is a diet plan that’s gained popularity over the last decade or so.
Macros, though. What the fuck are those?!
Basically, there are two major types of nutrients your body derives from food: Macronutrients (aka Macros) - where your energy that keeps your body going comes from. Micronutrients - vitamins and minerals that your body also needs to survive, but not as much. Like. volume wise.
So, if you look on a nutrition label, you’ll see three big things that people watch out for: Total fat, Carbohydrates, & Protein.
From carbs and protein, you get 4 calories per gram, but from fat, you get 9 calories per gram.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!
An increased daily intake of protein is necessary for people who pursue fitness. We eat it to build muscle, and stay full when we’re dieting down. Satiety means staying full, when we’re constantly hungry. (and honestly, I have no idea how @jaxblade does it but when you have an appetite like Luffy or Goku… just saying.)
From your carbohydrates, you should get at least 10-15 grams of FIBER per 1000 calories you eat a day. YOU NEED CARBS TO FUNCTION OH MY WORD. Those “carb free diets” are lowkey bullshit. Carbs are in absolutely everything and they’re a key component to how your body gets energy. Your brain can only really function on carbs, and the whole problem with Type 2 diabetes is that your body can’t take in the glucose from your bloodstream.
Just be smart. Don’t completely cut out rice or pasta or bread because that shit is delicious
oh yeah. Sugars are carbs. really simple ones, don’t eat them too often. That’s bad.
Last but ABSOLUTELY NOT LEAST, we’re talking about fats. Do not, abso-fucking-loutely DO NOT CUT OUT FATS COMPLETELY. That is NOT how you cut weight oH MY GOD.
Fats *also* help with satiety. Your body *needs* them to make hormones. Every single one of your cells is made up of a *lipid bilayer* which meaaaans, there are fats. making up your cell membranes. Your brain needs them because *oh my god it’s made up of 60% fat*. The reason why it gives us 9 calories per gram (more than twice as much as proteins and carbs!!!) is because of the chemical structure. It’s broken down in the mitochondria. Now… I wonder why the mitochondria is called the powerhouse of the cell….
Now, of course, there are healthy fats and REALLY UNHEALTHY FATS, but I’ll cover that in another post really soon. <3
Basically, the key to IIFYM is balance. You don’t get a gold star for eating super clean 100% of the time. If you do, and enter this “diet” mentality, you as SO much more likely to fall off the fitness wagon.
This is a lifestyle change, not a temporary quick fix to lose a couple pounds.
Such a great summary of IIFYM! I am in love with that anime flair too. <3
I'm feeling a bit better today. Made a macro balanced lunch, finally weighed in today and maintained since last week despite some not so good eating days, and had a not so busy appointment schedule this morning. I feel so much better when I can get the time to make and eat something that satisfies all my needs. Keep fighting, loves.
Today was a nightmare hell day. I lost a very sweet patient that had surgery yesterday. He managed to form a massive hematoma under his tongue and down his airway. I was mid arm down his throat trying to get a trach tube into his trachea but could not see nor feel enough to adequately get the airway tube in. I had my tech try while I attempted to drain or cut the swelling out, but it was too solid to drain and too far back to cut out. We never know why things happen, and it all happens in the blink of an eye. Split second decisions make up a big portion of my life, and I always struggle with the "what ifs". What if I had just made a central stab directly over his trachea to do a tracheostomy (even though I've never done one in practice)? Would I have gotten the tube in? Could I have successfully completed it on gut instinct alone? Should I have pushed harder for referral surgery despite the massive costs associated? Should I have known that this would happen and planned a tracheostomy during surgery even though the surgery was much farther down the neck? This all happened first thing this morning, and I had to stumble my way through a 12 hour day trying to show empathy and the highest attention to each patient and their pet parents. But it's so hard to not let these things shake you to your core and make you be Tonight, I just feel so terribly inadequate. I feel like a failure. I hope tomorrow is better.
I'm officially 5 lbs down since starting this particular journey, the closest I've been to the 120's since vet school. But you all know that weight means much less to me than measurements and muscles. The last few weeks haven't produced much progress in the measurement bracket but I have managed to at least stay the same measurements and consistently shed an inch total a week leading to 9.25 inches total lost since early July. So, yay?
I hate anxiety. I am almost never out of a state of anxiety. How do you all deal?
This RockRuff is adorable. I need to cosplay this now.
I hate when people say that it’s not healthy to eat after 8pm. Your stomach isn’t a business… there aren’t any opening or closing hours. If you’re hungry, eat.
Omg this 🙌🏼
My thoughts exactly. Where does the eating after 8PM thought put those of us with late late work days? I guess we should just starve. :/
