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Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

#valid

what-even-is-thiss

Taking up Japanese as a side project for myself has reminded me of something.

So like a long time ago I had a professor that I absolutely adored. She happened to be Japanese American. She grew up speaking Japanese at home but never really spent a lot of time in Japan. She mostly spoke with other Japanese Americans and read books.

So one day early in her teaching career there’s an exchange student from Japan who’s having a hard time understanding a concept so she explained it to him in Japanese and then he looked absolutely rattled. Like in shock. Pale.

This is how she learned that the way she speaks Japanese makes her sound like a gang member.

Japanese doesn’t exactly have cuss words in the same way as English does but imagine that the nicest professor you’ve ever had pulls your paper over and says “Okay listen here you little piece of shit I’m gonna fucking explain this to you. Violently.”

cloacatak

This (studying in Chile for a year) is more or less how I realized my two PhD-having, tenured professor expat parents raised me to speak the most disrespectful and swearword-riddled version of Spanish possible (with plenty of ancient slang I didn't know was slang thrown in). It was like:

RIP to the legend

This goose fucking rocks and had a crazy life!

I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:

He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.

Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.

Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.

When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.

Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.

Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.

As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.

His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."

Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.

Before and after his death, Thomas has been celebrated as an icon of the LGBTQ+ community for obvious reasons.

#hell yeah #happy pride month

omgtsn

apple breaks up fight between two magnets

redheartgrenade

its just played backwards

xeppeli

your truly ignorant. this apple is a hero; a pacifist

redheartgrenade

it’s fucking played backwards. dont call me ignorant. its an apple

xeppeli

Have you ever seen an apple in your life?

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

#this is hilarious

depsidase

j-swin79

I would come into the shop an hour before my start time to vacuum, clean up, etc. every day at my old job and the one time I asked to leave 30 minutes early to pick up my kid I was asked if I was going to come all the way back to lock up afterwards. I suddenly realized no matter how much extra you do it’s never appreciated.

The next day I came in at my official start time and left at my official quitting time and it stayed that way until I quit a month later.

Don’t let them take advantage of you.

#this