This time I didn't totally forget about that scheduled post, but god is life so different now. I wrote that post shortly before my 22nd birthday, and I feel like I have a way of knowing what is coming my way. Right now it is May 11, 2026 9:35pm. I'm sitting in my bedroom avoiding doing my homework and watching my girlfriend play competitive Marvel Rivals. Chicago and Lucifer are laying in my bed with me.
I left Petsmart about 8 months ago because we moved across the country but I am currently a Salon leader and in school for IT and Cybersecurity, I should be done with school by September of this year!
I've gotten so many tattoos, and I have so many more planned! I love decorating my body with art and I cant wait to see how I end up finishing everything else over time.
The last and only time I talked to my mom was right after Riley passed in Feb of 2024. She was once again horrifically cruel to me and it was a reminder that no matter how much time passes, she will always just be herself. No amount of time will change her. Breaking contact is never the answer. Unfortunately I am getting to the age where I do terribly miss her -- or at least the idea of a mom, but I've accepted I will never have that with her.
We almost bought a house, went as far as getting pre-approved for a mortgage, but decided against it and I am glad we did not based on other things that I'll explain here in a few.
The kids got caught, had to complete a program and ended up having to pay $250 each for the damages to my car. Outside of this, I have no idea what ended up happening.
We did marry Nick, but by asking this I knew I was second guessing. We were married for just over 2 years before I decided to seperate a few days before our 7 year anniversary. -- This is a reminder to never settle for less. You can't force someone to love you in a way that you deserve or need. I was so unhappy and kept telling myself things would get better. They did not.
Riley passed in February of 2024, just days after Nick and I went on a trip to the mountains with his parents and brought him with. It was incredibly sudden and due to a random seizure. Losing him was one of the hardest things I've ever been through, and I still miss him and think of him often. Chicago and Lucifer are still well and their usual selves. Echo is also still good!
The current setup is not nearly as "cool" as it once was, but its cozier and far more practical.
I stopped gaming as much just because I have so many other interests but I still spend time playing games with my partner, we usually play Marvel Rivals or Overwatch -- OW will always be my preference. Dead by Daylight is still so unfun compared to when I started but I like playing a few games here and there, especially when drinking.
Additionally, I have REALLY gotten into resident evil (I love Mr. Leon Kennedy) and am still working through re9. -- Story games as a whole got a lot more fun once I got my steam deck too, ive played through and deeply enjoyed TLOU, RDR2, and a handful of RE games.
I do still have Gin, but actually sold Oliver earlier this year and Rowan about a year after I made my original message. El, now known as cricket, is owned by my partner now! I think I am done buying/selling anymore suits for the time being! I am really happy and connected to Gin and that is about all I need or want.
I am happy, in fact happier then I think I have ever been in my entire life, but at the same time things are so different then what I expected and everything happened so quickly. I am still adjusting, and I am still learning that I am allowed to be happy and safe. It's scary sometimes.
The same friends are around, just not always in the same capacity, and that's okay. I think everyone has just gotten caught up in life, but I know everyone loves and cares for me still and I believe they all know the same applies to them.
I am happy and learning to be comfortable with that.
I actually have lost nearly 60lbs in the last year through hard work, and am in fact below the 165lb mark. I had a little slip up and have regained a little bit of weight from enjoying my birthday celebrations but I'm locking back in. This time I want to build some muscle and just get back to being 110% comfortable and confident.
I had a fat savings before we moved and we had worked through a lot of debt but moving drained our savings so I am starting from scratch. I've got a plan in place though and will be going back to working on rebuilding that cushion and cutting through debt.
I do still miss the old apartment sometimes, however, I have found a new home. We moved to Colorado in September of 2024, Nick left and went back to Florida so it's actually just me and Devin living here. I love it here and I am so at peace. This is where I belong. We are currently working on getting my partner into the US so she can be here as well. I truly thing this is the only thing missing for me right now.
I actually hate that I asked myself if I enjoyed the ending of ST because honestly I fucking hated it!!! It wasn't horrible but it felt so rushed, they missed so many opportunities, and just completely missed the mark. It did however, leave me in tears and I still hold stranger things close to my heart.
I still have not changed my marker or name, but I'll worry about that down the line, but I am safe.
I am so full of love and feel so safe and secure in so many different aspects. I love my girlfriend, I love my state, I love my job, I love my friends, I love my life.
