Jason Gideon x Reader (fight + smut)
Warnings: smut, +18, a bit of cursing
Summary: Basically Jason says something hurtful to the Reader, and has to beg for her forgiveness.
Itâs not my best work but it wonât get any better, so here it is. Constructive criticism always welcome!
The gif isnât mine!
His head was pounding. The last case had certainly been rough. Child cases were always rough. And so he was in his office, thinking about said case, going over it, again and again. Sure, it had been a happy ending, but a lot of mistakes were made.
Half an hour later, his head felt like it was about to explode. The door to his office opened, and an agent came in. He didnât even bother looking up before asking a âWhat?!â quite rudely.
âLove, are you okay? I know child cases are rough, but you look like you need a pick me up.â
Only when he heard her voice did he look up. She was looking stunningly gorgeous, as always. He looked at her for half a second before saying,
âIâm fine, you can go home.â
She very clearly frowned at that. It didnât make much sense, because he had never treated her that way, nor did he ever tell her to go home without him. He had always been so sweet and touchy with her. To the point that some might call him âclingyâ, even though she would never. It was their way of loving each other. Their love language was and still is physical touch. She loved him for that.
So she came closer to him, and touched his arm affectionately.
âAre you sure? I can stay if youâd like.â She smiled, with a smile that could light up the whole town. But he didnât see it, because he wasnât looking at her.
He pulled away, and for the first time in all the years they had known each other he snapped at her.
âWill you just go home? I need to be alone, and youâre not helping.â She was surprised, to say the least. A little bit offended too, though she couldnât hold it over his head. Everyone needed some alone time every now and then. That didnât make the whole situation any less weird.
He usually loved her touch, and now he looked disgusted by it. The way he had pulled away from her, as if her touch was capable of killing him, made no sense to her.
âWhatâs going on with you? Youâre never like this!â
Normally she wouldnât have gone against his wishes, because as a reasonable and logical person, she could see that needing time alone was a perfectly normal thing. But it was his reaction at her that made her stay. She didnât want to leave the conversation like that, because then, when she got home, she would definitely overthink this whole thing.
He stood up and hit the table hard, so fast that if she had blinked she wouldâve missed it.
âI told you that I need to be alone! God, why are you so fucking clingy?â
And just like that, she felt a thousand new holes in her heart appear. Sure, she had been told before that she was a little too touchy, but he was the only person that loved her being touchy. He was the only one that reciprocated her touch equally. Without him, what did she have in this world?
She took a step back, in shock.
Realising what he had said, he tried to get to her. But she kept her distance.
âWow. I expected that from a lot of people, but not from you. Never from you.â
He tried to get to her again when he saw her deep, beautiful, full of life eyes filled with tears. He never had wanted to hurt her. She was his everything. He was nothing without her.
And now, his companion, his best friend, his partner, the love of his life was looking at him like he had shattered her heart. And he had.
He stayed still, not wanting her to walk further away.
âI didnât mean it. Iâm sorry. I never meant to hurt you.â He tried to get her to see how much he meant those words. But she didnât care.
âYes, you did. Otherwise you wouldnât have said that to begin with.â Her voice clearly trembled as she turned around and went for the door.
He got to her first, and grabbed her wrist.
âI promise you I didnât mean it. Please.â She didnât know what he was begging for. She just knew that she had to get out of there.
And in her heartbroken state, she couldnât see how terrified he was of her going away.
âPlease, let me go.â She said. He couldnât. Even if he could, he wouldnât. He kept his grip on her firm, and when he spoke his voice was trembling.
âI canât. Youâre my everything. I wonât make it out here without you.â
She shook her head. In her mind, if that were true, then he wouldâve never put them both in this position to begin with. She also didnât catch the phrasing when he said he âwonâtâ make it out. He meant that he had no intention whatsoever of making it out without her. He wouldnât even try.
He took her face in his hands and kissed her, trying to make her remember. Remember how much they loved each other, and how much they needed each other. At least he did. He wiped her tears with his thumb, hating himself for being the cause of her distress and making her think that he didnât love every single piece of her.
She tried to free herself, before the kiss changed her mind, but his grip was ironclad on her. When he saw that his words didnât have any effect on her, he fell on his knees. At this point he was desperate. He could feel her slipping away through his fingers, and he was desperate to stop her from leaving.
âJason. Let me go. I need to be alone.â She was being a little bit petty, because she didnât say that because she truly needed to be alone, she said it because he had used that excuse on her, right before this mess.
It had the desired effect. He froze, and he saw no choice but to let her go. He wouldnât force her to be close to him if she didnât want to.
And so he let her go. In two big strides she was already gone. And he felt more alone than he had ever felt in his whole life.
He knew that he was alone from now on. She finally saw who he was, how old he was, and the fact that as gorgeous, as funny, as smart as she was, she could have whoever she wanted. And he knew that she realised that she didnât have to settle with him. He knew that it was true, she deserved someone her age, someone just as attractive, just as funny as her. And he knew that wasnât him.
He wiped the tears that he didnât know he had streaming down his cheeks. He got up and left the office. He knew that she had all the right in the world to be alone, so he reserved a room at the closest hotel to the Bureau's offices.
He didnât know that, even as disappointed as she was, being a hopeless romantic, she wanted him to come after her, to throw pebbles at her window screaming âIâm in love with youâ. She wanted him at the other side of her door, pledging his undying love for her.
Three full days had gone by without the couple contacting each other. Neither of them slept either nights. He was going crazy. Only now did he realise how truly touch starved he was, and how much he missed her.
After the initial wave of raging emotions had passed, she could think clearly again. She thought about calling him, about trying to work things out. After all, anyone could have a bad day, and she hadnât exactly listened to him when he had asked her to leave him alone for a while.
The problem is that she felt personally attacked when he had called her âclingyâ. She was told before that she was too clingy, and that caused her to retreat into herself. She became distant and pushed everyone away for fear of being âtoo muchâ. It had been a problem since her early teenage years. She didnât know if it was the bad mood talking or if that was actually what he felt, what he had been feeling for all the time they were together.
After a while she came to the conclusion that that wasnât possible. She remembered things that she couldnât remember when she was in front of him. He had initiated touch with her several times. Anytime she touched him he always leaned against her. He loved hugging her, he loved kissing her. He treated her like a queen, and she definitely treated him like a king. It was the treatment he deserved. When they had sex, it was the most magical thing ever, and she knew for a fact that it was the same for him. He had never made any excuses to avoid touching her or to avoid her touch.
That was when the guilt began to appear. She had been most certainly harsh with him. She didnât take his need for some time alone seriously, and that led to him snapping at her. Which was wrong, but she understood. Mistakes happen. It wasnât worth throwing away their once in a lifetime relationship. She thought of calling him, but then told herself that something like this should be told in person.
The next morning, when she arrived at the office, he was already there, on his desk. She could see him through the blinds. He looked stunning, but he also looked tired. Very tired.
He had been trying to work for the past two hours, without any success. He couldnât stop thinking about her, her smile, her sarcastic remarks, her beauty.
Suddenly, the door opened, and she appeared. For a heartbeat he thought that he mightâve been hallucinating. But she was truly there.
He didnât dare to speak. If they had been married, he was certain she would have been serving the divorce papers by now.
âI think we need to talk,â she said. âIs this a good moment?â
He definitely took notice of the fact that she never had asked that question before. Because he had made it very clear that âalwaysâ was the answer for her. And he hated himself for making her think that she had to ask that question.
âAlways. Itâs always a good moment for you.â He didnât dare to move, just in case he frightened her, so she was the one that came closer, and sat down on one of the chairs in front of his desk.
âIâm aware that I shouldâve respected your desire to be alone, but that doesnât excuse what you said,â she said. She waited for his reaction, because after that fight she wasnât sure how he would react.
âYouâre right. Even if I wanted to be alone, I never shouldâve treated you that way. You deserve better,â he paused, and then realised that most men said that as a way of breaking up, so he continued, âIâm not saying this to break up. I know you deserve better, but Iâm too selfish to let you go.â He was surprised to see her smile at that.
âI donât think this fight is worth throwing our relationship away. I understand that people make mistakes. And I do believe in second chances.â He closed his eyes, while relief overwhelmed him. âI donât do third chances, though. I admit Iâm at fault too, but if you ever use my insecurities against me again I will kick you out of my life.â
He stood up. He couldnât believe what he was hearing.
âI didnât use your insecurities against you.â She frowned, but before she could say anything, he continued talking. âI said something terrible, but I didnât say it with your insecurities in mind. Iâm not trying to excuse myself, I hate myself for hurting the best thing thatâs ever happened to me. I just wanted you to know, I would never do that.â
She understood what he meant. He lashed out at her, but he didnât call her âclingyâ with her insecurity in mind. That made things only a little less worse. And his grovelling was making her feel a little bit better.
She stood up too, walked around the desk until she was right in front of him.
âAgain, I know this was partly my fault. But if you ever say anything like that again⌠I donât think Iâll be able to continue the relationship.â She wanted to make him understand that while she did admit that she shouldnât have pressured him, which is what caused him to snap. But he shouldnât have said the things he said. Ever. And that meant that this was his last chance.
âI thought you wouldnât want to continue the relationship now, given what that insult means to youâŚâ She was close enough to him that he could kiss her and hug her, but he didnât know how she would take that. âIâm really glad that youâre able to forgive me, though.â
She was really close to him. And he wanted to kiss her, more than anything he had ever wanted. She was smiling at him, and he thought to himself that he couldnât wait any longer, and if she had forgiven him then she would probably let him kiss her.
So he did. He leaned towards her and their lips met. It was a sweet, slow kiss. Until she decided she wanted more. She deepened the kiss and suddenly they were straight up making out. Their tongues met, and he relished on her flavour. He couldnât resist and pushed her gently towards his desk, and laid her down. Kissing her stomach, he unbuttoned her pants and took them off. The door wasnât even locked, but neither of them wanted to lock it. It made everything more exciting.
He kissed her thighs, licked and even bit them, while she whimpered at his touch, which made him smile. He took his time before kissing her labia, and then sucked it. She started to moan loudly, and so he whispered against her vagina, saying âbe quiet, we canât let everyone know what weâre doing in here.â His whisper turned her even more on than she already was. She felt his breath on her vagina, and she was hot everywhere. She needed his touch everywhere.
By the time he was penetrating her, she was a complete mess. A gorgeous mess in his eyes, but still a mess. The mess that he wanted. And he would never let her go.
She felt just as good as their first time together. People say that after the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over, then everything changes, including sex. That had never happened to them. And he loved that. He loved that she screamed his name just as loud as she did their first time. He loved that he still got red scratches on his back due to her passion.
The moment he penetrated her, her hands went straight to his back, to get ahold of him, while at the same time scratching him. Her nails trailed from up to down his back, with a lot of strength, leaving marks behind.
The way he was filling her up meant that she would orgasm very soon. Especially because he knew what he was doing. He was kissing her neck, sucking and licking, while one of his hands was gripping her thigh with an iron grip, and his other hand was on her clit, which he found effortlessly. Massaging her, his calloused hands on her clit were driving her insane.
In those 20 minutes she came several times, and she came hard. It was mind blowing, like it always was with him.
