Welcome To The Shark Punching Center @shark-punching-center - Tumblr Blog

catnoli

soy sauce shark 🍙 this is a sticker reward for my silly mail members who sign up before august 1st!

condimentcollector

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Eight out of ten stars. Very rare

Soy sauce shark: Better than regular soy sauce due to added cuteness and whimsy. In a clear glossy shark bottle.

No similar condiments currently in collection.

shark-punching-center

Absolutely the fuck not. Dispatching SPC agent immediately

charlesoberonn

Joke SCP idea: Man immune to sandwiches. He cannot be harmed by anything that would otherwise be lethal so long as that thing comes in the form of sandwiches.

The deadliest poisons, being crushed to death, being pelted at relativistic speeds. None of it hurts him so long as a sandwich is the delivery method.

The Foundation begin experimenting on the extents of his abilities but then one of the researchers shoots him dead. Their reason?

"The world is not ready for an objective answer to what is a sandwich"

lunnefisk

i think we should all find some time to enjoy the wobbegong

lessthanthreelalli

we wobbing

lessthanthreelalli

and gonging

lessthanthreelalli

we wobbegonging

shark-punching-center

More like wobbe-going-going-gone by the time we're done with it. Dispatching agents now.

sock-ness-monster

Everybody shut the HECK up and look at this

S H O R K

thedeepsharks

big and round shark

shark-punching-center

Incredible work here. This bull shark is the result of a successful punching, resulting in full-body inflammatory swelling.

This is what it's all about

attex

escuerzoresucitado

shark-punching-center

Abominable. Clearly this shark hasn't been punched yet. SPC agents are en route.

yuriinullification

the fact that literally all SCP games out there are just generic survival horror projects and that there's like basically nothing that actually utilizes the absolutely fuckhuge and extremely richly detailed (completely free to use in whatever way you want) world to tell an actually compelling story or even just do like literally any setting that isn't inside one of the facilities is genuinely such a tragedy. Give me a plot set amongst the rural Sarkics of like early 20th century Russia. Do a mystery/detective-style game set inside the academies of three Portlands. VA-11-HALL-A but you're a librarian inside the wanderer's library. UIU strategy game where you constantly encounter fucked up shit and have to use your very limited knowledge about the world you're in and even more limited funds to try and decide what incidents are worth investigating and how you deal with them like I am literally on my hands and knees begging. There's so so so much potential in this world that's just going completely unexplored when it comes to games pleeeease just do something other than escape from site 19 #1547786544 I'm actually starving here.

the-alpine-glow

Mobile Task Force ‘:3’

sharkpunchingcenter

Okay people, sit your asses down and shut your pie holes. I’ve got places to go and people more important than you to see, because I happen to be ascientist and we scientists have a tendency to be very busy and important people. If you’re out there in the folding chairs, that means that you’re the new guys. Bottom of the totem pole. But, it also means that you passed the entrance exams. Welcome to the SPC. From this moment onward, your job is very, very simple: you are going to punch sharks.

In the face.

You will punch sharks. When not punching sharks, you will be planning on punching sharks. You will be developing new ways to punch sharks. You will read about punching sharks. You will write about punching sharks. You will study punching sharks. You will dream about punching sharks. You will jump the shark. You will collect and contain paranormal objects, and then use them to beat up sharks.

Punching sharks is your life.

You may be asking yourself “Self, how am I to punch these sharks?” With your fists.

And you may ask yourself “Self, what if I am bitten by a shark? I am unsure of what to do.” Go see an alchemist.

And you may say to yourself “Self, my teeth have become shark-like, in the sense that they have all turned into sharks!” Good, now start punching them.

It’s an important job, mark my words. There are people out there, many people who just don’t understand why. They don’t realize how important our job is. You will be challenged, you will be mocked, you will be insulted, but you cannot lose sight of the goal: your fist in a shark’s face.

Several years ago, a former employee asked me “Why do we punch sharks?” You know what I said to him?

“Sir, do you hate science? Are you a science-hating shark-hugger? Do you approve of the non-science shark agenda?“ He said no, he wasn’t.

I punched him the face anyway, because he was clearly a closet shark. Because that’s what we fucking do at the SPC.

When you all came in here, there was a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of Punching Sharks on your chair. You are all to have read that by the time you report in tomorrow morning. Now get out of here. Those sharks aren’t going to punch themselves.

Because they don’t have hands.

akumeoy

there is no "scp heritage posts" account because none of the scp posts on here have ever been good

scp-heritage-posts

SCP heritage post

Can I get a raise for punching double the amount of sharks since last month?

Absolutely. Your performance this period has been phenomenal, and here at the SPC, we care about rewarding agents who go above and beyond. We'll discuss your new salary soon.

how punchable do you consider Chaz from Hellova Boss?

I don’t know who that is. Sorry pal