Chas the Humbly Awesome Pocket Raptor / Shark King
@sharkbaitchas
Hello. Chas here. I don't tumble. But I'm been told to tumble. So here's my attempt at tumbling. Pretty much everything will be me talking about my obsession with Jurassic World and Owen/Zach, Zachwen, Zowen, etc. And with Buck/Eddie or Buddie from 9-1-1. Also my cat. Mostly my cat. This is my boring life.
One of my videos of my cat got blocked. I don't understand why. XD But it makes me smile. Oh well. I still don't know how to tumble. But now I'm into this 9-1-1 fandom of Buddie. And ugh. Awesomeness.
My short contribution to International Fanworks Day 2017.
"I can't believe you're making me do this."
Owen smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "You know you want to."
Zach crossed his arms and looked away. Maybe he was looking forward to it. A little bit. A very tiny little bit. But it was probably just Owen's excitement just rubbing off on him. Yep. That was clearly it.
"Do you know what I had to do to get those tickets?" The San Diego Comic Con was in less than two weeks. Owen had always wanted to go. And he was finally dating someone who he could guilt/trick into going with him.
Zach rolled his eyes and threw up his arms. "I do not want to know."
And they were totally dressing up. Head to toe. And it was going to be awesome. "So... I'm thinking..." Owen looked him up and down slowly and smirked. "You'd make a... hot Spider-Man."
Zach glanced sideways at him. "In a skin-tight costume, huh?"
Owen smiled and crossed his arms.
Zach stepped closer and slowly circled Owen. "You could pull off Captain America. Got the arms."
Owen glanced down at his arms and nodded. "Hawkeye's got nice arms."
Zach shook his head quickly. "No."
"Come on. The Hawk is hot, too."
"No one thinks Hawkeye is hot."
"Strong jaw, pretty eyes, good hair, hot body..." Owen grabbed Zach's hand and pulled the younger man closer. He held Zach against him and spun him around. And then lifted him up.
"O, put me down!"
"Nope." Owen said with a smile. "Not until you admit that Hawkeye is hot."
"No!"
Owen spun them around again and lifted Zach higher off the ground.
"Fine!" Zach snapped after a few more dizzying spins. "You can be Hawkeye. The movie one, not the silly comic one with the goofy purple mask hat thing.
"And?"
Zach rolled his eyes. "You'll be hot." He said. "As Hawkeye." He added softly.
Owen smiled brightly and lowered Zach back to the ground. "You?"
Zach stepped back and nodded. "Yeah, Spider-Man's fine." He turned and started walking away. "With a mask on, no one will know I'm even there."
Let's see... trying to only pick 3. What 3? Ugh! Okay.
1. Sweet Heat and Sweet Lies (Something Pure, Something Real) by Caddaren.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4487391/chapters/10201311
Jurassic World, featuring Zachwen. Owen and Zach. My current obsession. I remember reading this when it was updating last year. And I've read it like 5 times since it stopped. It's amazing! It's Zach and Owen like millions of years ago, riding dinosaurs. It's really sweet and slow.
2. Astride a Pale Horse by HigherMagic.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/8778919/chapters/20124070
Walking Dead, featuring Daryl/Rick. Rick and Daryl, fighting the horsemen of the apocalypse. It's amazing. It updates often. And it's long, which what seems like a lot left to go.
3. A Thousand Shards of Glass by TWDObsessive.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/7323454/chapters/16634671
Another Walking Dead story, with Daryl and Rick. Rick's the front man of a band. And the way TWDO describes Rick singing and his pierced lip is amazing. And should be read a million times. 8D
Holidays with the Alpha and his Mate: Valentine's Day
http://archiveofourown.org/works/9716483
He let out a long, loud, relieved sigh as the headlights faded and he was shrouded in darkness. He hefted his bag over his shoulder and turned towards the trailer. The Bungalow. Zach rolled his eyes and walked towards it. He opened the door and stopped. The whole of the tiny space was flooded with low light. Candle light. All around him, on every flat surface, was a candle. Most were flickering lowly, all on their last breaths. Some were already out, just a plume of smoke. But all of them were in varying stages of melting all over the place.
Zach stepped inside and turned to shut the door behind him. He dropped his bag. And something fluttered across the floor. He looked down. The floor was covered with red and pink rose petals. Everywhere. Zach stepped forward, his eyes scanning the whole place. Not just the floor. The couch, too. And a few petals on the kitchen counter. He reached out and grabbed a handful off the counter.
Candles and rose petals. Zach sighed deeply and shook his head. Where the hell was Owen? Zach searched the whole trailer, which took only a moment. Really, he just glanced around. Only the bedroom was left to search. He sighed again as he opened the door and flipped on the light.
And there was Owen, fast asleep and snoring on the bed. He was lying on his stomach, a sheet half covering him. Zach's eyes narrowed into a glare. "O!" He snapped loudly. "Owen!"
Owen jerked and opened his eyes. He blinked against the bright light and rolled over. "Hey babe."
Zach glared and dropped a handful of rose petals on the bed. "Get up and put some pants on." He snapped. "Now!" He turned and stepped out of the room, not giving Owen a chance to respond. He started walking around the trailer, blowing out the candles.
And then Owen was behind him, wrapping his arms around Zach and pulling their bodies flush together. Zach quickly pried Owen's hands off and stepped away. He spun around and glared. "Candles, O."
Owen blinked at him. "Yeah." He smiled and tried to step into Zach's space again. "Candles are sexy."
Zach stepped back and held his hand out. He touched his hand to Owen's bare chest but it was to keep the man back. He was still glaring. "Not when you light a million of them in a tiny, enclosed space and then fall asleep!" Zach snapped.
Owen opened his mouth slowly. "I didn't mean to fall asleep... I was waiting for you..."
Zach shook his head and threw up his arms. "You coulda set the place on fire! You coulda got hurt or worse! What the fuck were you thinking?"
"I was thinking it's our first anniversary and it'd be romantic and you were supposed to be here..." Owen paused for a moment. And then shrugged. "I don't know what time it is... but I'm guessing a while ago."
Zach shook his head. "My flight got canceled. I had to wait at the airport for two hours for another one. Then I had to wait for the ferry. And when I finally got here, you weren't there to pick me up!"
"Uh... Barry was supposed..."
"You were supposed to!" Zach snapped. "I called you! What the fuck, Owen?"
Owen shook his head. "I didn't get any calls." He turned and ducked back into the bedroom. "See?" He called out. "My phone's right here on the stand... and I... oh shit..." He walked back out slowly, his eyes on his phone. "I uh... was playing a game this morning... I turned the ringer off... that is a lot of missed calls and messages..." He looked up at Zach.
"I had to call Claire." Zach yelled. "First time I've been alone with her since what happened at her New Year's party! I had to listen to her lecture me about us the whole time! She wouldn't shut up! I had to lie my fucking ass off."
Owen set his phone down on the counter. He scratched at the back of his neck and let out a sigh. "I uh... I'm sorry... I didn't... I just..." He sighed. "Our first anniversary... I just wanted it to be... special..."
Zach sighed, his anger deflating quickly. He was tired. "I've had a horrible day. I just want to sleep. I don't know why you count today anyways."
"Come on, babe." Owen stepped closer to him again. "You remember. Exactly one year ago today. You asked me out."
Zach rolled his eyes. "I was kidding when I asked you to be my Valentine. We were making fun of the holiday."
Owen smiled. "I know."
Zach looked away for a moment. He could feel his resolve weakening already. He slowly smiled. "Didn't stop you from showing up at my house the next day."
Owen smiled again. "Because you were so cute, drooling and staring at me every time you came to the island."
Zach's gaze dropped to the ground. "I didn't drool." He mumbled.
"Yeah, you did."
"No I didn't!" Zach said, a bit louder.
Owen smiled and tilted his head to the side.
"Maybe a little."
Owen's smile only seemed to widen. "Forgive me?"
Zach breathed out and nodded. He looked back at Owen. "Yeah. I guess so. Just... no more candles for you. Like ever."
Owen rolled his eyes and shook his head. "If anything would have caught fire, I'da woken up when the fire alarm went off."
Zach blinked for a moment. "O, you broke the fire alarm back at Thanksgiving."
Owen opened his mouth slowly. "Oh yeah... when it went off... for no reason..."
"You caught the pies on fire!"
"Uh... no I didn't..."
Zach shook his head. "No more candles, Owen. No more fire."
Owen reached out and grabbed Zach hand. He took a step back, tugging the younger man with him. "If I say yes... can we celebrate our anniversary properly?"
Zach let out a sigh and shook his head. But he smiled. "Fine. Happy anniversary, you fucking dork."
A short drabble in which Owen and Zach go shopping.
Zach pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it. He skimmed the shopping list and waited as Owen fetched a cart. Zach got to the end of the list and started over a second time. When his eyes reached the bottom again and he realized he was still standing alone, he stopped. He folded the list back up and stuck it in his pocket so he wouldn't lose it. Then he turned and looked back at the front of the store.
Owen was standing with an empty cart, smiling and talking to some tall lady. She was clearly pretty, if one was into that, and smiling and laughing. And then she reached out and touched Owen's arm for a moment. She had her own cart in front of her and there was a baby seat strapped in the front. Owen was currently making faces at the baby. And laughing, oblivious to the woman's flirting attempts.
Zach rolled his eyes. "Owen!" He snapped.
The man stopped and looked over at Zach. He smiled and waved. And then turned to smile and wave at the pretty woman. He made another series of faces at the baby before grabbing his cart and turning.
The woman quickly turned her cart around and tried to follow.
Owen hadn't noticed yet. He stopped beside Zach and was still smiling. Zach rolled her eyes as he stepped around Owen and glared at the woman. He crossed his arms and shook his head. "Get lost."
The lady's mouth fell open. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me." Zach snapped. "Get lost."
Owen turned around and reached out to touch Zach's shoulder gently. "Zach, don't be rude."
"Yes, Zach." The woman sneered. "Listen to your father."
Zach's eyes widened and his arms dropped. "Look lady, he's not my father." Zach turned slightly and threw his arm around Owen's neck. "He's my daddy." Zach's other hand went to Owen's crotch. Owen let out a squeak and Zach smiled. "He's mine."
The woman's eyes fell to Zach's hand and her lips pulled together tightly.
Owen's smile widened. "Yeah, I am."
The woman's eyes dropped to her cart and she quickly pushed it away.
Zach craned his neck, still glaring, to watch her leave.
Owen let out a short laugh and then cleared his throat. "So... you gonna stand there all day groping me or..."
Zach lingered for a moment longer before detaching himself and stepping away.
Owen was still smiling. "What triggered the whole property display? Not that I really minded." He added quickly.
Zach rolled his eyes. "Of course you didn't." He sighed and shook his head. "You were flirting with her."
Owen frowned and shook his head. "No I wasn't. If anything... I was flirting with the baby."
Zach rolled his eyes again.
"Because you know I like 'em young." Owen stepped towards him and hooked his fingers in Zach's belt.
"Stop it." Zach snapped, pushing him away. "That's not funny."
Owen shook his head. "Neither is accusing me of flirting with someone else."
"She was touching you!" Zach snapped. He reached out and grabbed Owen's arm, right where the tramp had been touching him. "Right here."
Owen shrugged. "I didn't notice."
"Yeah well..." Zach let him go. "No one is allowed to touch you."
"Am I included in that?"
Zach pulled the shopping list back out and glanced back at Owen. "What?"
"Because... that's gonna make things... hard."
Zach grabbed the cart and pushed it roughly into Owen. "Shut up and don't wander off again." Zach grabbed the front of the cart and pulled it forward, guiding them towards the isles.
"Again?" Owen tilted his head, following along.
Zach ignored him as he stopped by the pasta. He grabbed a box and turned to drop it in the cart. And Owen was standing a few feet back, looking at the jars of sauce. "Owen!" Zach snapped. "Stand by the cart!"
Holidays with the Alpha and his Mate: Groundhog Day
http://archiveofourown.org/series/619957
Zach dropped his pen on his desk and leaned back. He watched as the pen rolled across the surface and stopped as it bumped against the desk lamp. He let out a sigh and rubbed at his face. That was it. He couldn't do anymore. His eyes were starting to blur and his head was starting to spin and did he just write the world cerfuffle on his paper? That wasn't even close to a word. He'd just have to finish his term paper tomorrow. He sighed again and rolled his neck, relishing in the pops along his spine.
There was a knock at his door. Zach let out yet another sigh. Who was bothering him at 8 at night? He stood up and crossed the tiny dorm room to the door. He gripped the door knob and turned it. Zach blinked at the man in the doorway, bags in hand and a wide smile on his face.
"Hey babe."
Zach's mouth dropped open. "O... what are you doing here?"
Owen smiled at him and shifted the bags in his hand. "Celebrating the holiday."
Zach blinked again. "What holiday?"
"Groundhog Day." Owen said, like it was obvious. "Can I come in?"
Zach held the door open wider as he stepped back. "Yeah, of course." He said quickly. "Come in."
Owen smiled again as he stepped inside.
"Groundhog Day isn't a holiday." Zach said as he shut the door.
Owen set his bags down on the small coffee table. "It's on the calendar." He said. "It's a holiday."
Zach shook his head. "There are a lot of things in the calendar that people don't actually celebrate."
Owen shrugged as he turned back towards Zach. "I brought food and movies."
"Long way just for food and movies."
Owen smiled and reached out for him. He grabbed Zach's hand and pulled Zach against him. "Maybe I just missed you."
Zach rolled his eyes and tried to look annoyed. But he was like putty in Owen's arms, like always. He slid his hands up Owen's arms and wrapped them around Owen's neck. "I'm coming to the island in a couple weeks."
"But that's not noooow." Owen stuck his lip out, pouting.
Zach sighed loudly, still attempting to feign annoyance. "Fine." He tightened his grip on Owen's neck. "You can stay for food and movies." He pulled Owen down towards him and touched their lips together. And then Owen's stomach growled. Loudly. Zach pulled away and looked down. "Damn."
Owen smiled. "Like I said... food."
Zach pushed him away and shook his head. Owen was always hungry. It amazed Zach the amount of food the man could eat and still have a body like that. Zack smiled. "What food?"
"Chinese." Owen said, taking a step back towards the couch.
"Fine." Zach nodded. "Let's eat."
"Great!" Owen turned and bounced to the couch. He dug into the bag with excitement and started pulling cartons out.
Zach smiled, watching him. "What movie did you bring?"
Owen opened the chicken and popped a sticky piece into his mouth. "Groundhog Day."
Zach shook his head, watching his boyfriend's caveman like table manners. He'd offer him a fork or a shovel or something. But Zach knew it would just slow him down. "Old movie." He said, stepping closer.
Owen shook his head. "Not old. Classic. The word is classic."
Zach reached for the bag and felt the weight. "What else is in here?" There was definitely more than one DVD case inside the small bag.
Owen licked a spot of sauce off his lips. "What About Bob' and 'Ghostbusters' 1 and 2. The old ones, not the new one."
"So..." Zach pulled the movies out and stared at the covered for a moment. "A bunch of old movies made before I was born?"
Owen opened his mouth and then closed it. He shrugged. "I guess so."
Zach smiled. "Okay, Groundhog Day I understand. Because it's... Groundhog Day. But the other ones... what do they have to do with today?"
Owen smiled and pulled an eggroll out of a container. "Bill Murray is awesome."
Zach glanced down at the movies again. "They're all Bill Murray movies?"
Owen frowned and dropped his eggroll. "Do not tell me you don't know the magic of Bill Murray!"
Zach shrugged. "I've seen the first Ghostbusters, when I was younger. And I've heard about Groundhog Day..."
Owen shook his head and pointed at the couch beside him. "Sit down. Now."
Zach stepped towards the couch and sunk down.
Owen grabbed the bag from him and stood up. He popped the DVD into the player and picked up the remote. "Time to educate you."
Zach raised his eyebrows. "Educate me?"
Owen sat back down and picked up his eggroll. "What are they teaching you kids in school these days?"
Zach smiled and grabbed the remote from Owen. "Shut up and eat your eggroll." He hit the play button.
New Review... to a story I haven't touched in years
That exciting moment that you get an email that says New Review/New Comment. And then you realize... hey! That's a story I haven't updated/touched/thought of in years. Like YEARS! And then you feel bad for not working on it but you no longer like the fandom/ship anymore. And you just want to message the reader and tell them NOT to read anymore. Because it's old and sucks and is a blunder on your fanfiction reputation. 8D
The music was booming, the alcohol was running, and the bodies were swaying. He stood on his toes, looking over the crowd of swaying drunkenness. He was searching for someone, a special someone. He only agreed to come to this stupid, over the top party of his aunt's because someone promised they would be there. Someone he hadn't seen in weeks. Practically a whole month! His first year in college had been keeping him busy. But still! A promise was a promise!
Zach let out a sigh as he caught sight of his brother, waving him over. Zach smiled at him and shook his head and Gray turned back to whoever he was with. And then Claire and Zara were in his peripheral. Zach ducked down into the swaying crowd and hid from them. He sought out the corner quickly and let out a sigh as he leaned against the wall. There was some large, ridiculous plant or tree or something. It nearly hid him from view.
He shook his head as he pulled out his phone. If Owen stood him up, Zach was going to kill him. Yep. Zach decided right there and then, hiding behind the ghastly plant that he had no reason why his aunt owned, to plot his boyfriend's demise.
Zach opened his text messages and sent a quick text to Owen. Where are you?
Nearly 15 minutes passed with Zach hiding behind the tree-plant-thing before he got a response. He pulled out phone back out and quickly opened the message.
Sorry. Running late. Almost there.
Zach frowned at the message and checked the time. It was already 11:20. Zach bit his lip. He really, really wanted Owen there. He really wanted to see the man before the clock struck midnight and it was officially next year. Something about their first New Year's moment together just... just felt nice. That was the only reason Zach had come in the first place! He didn't know any of his aunt's friends. Or her girlfriend's friends. Or whoever all these stupid people where. Because there were a lot of people.
Zach sighed and put his phone away. If Owen had to keep stopping to answer Zach's texts, it would just take him longer to get there. He let out a sigh and slid down on the floor. He sat down on the floor and leaned back against the wall, hiding even more behind the leafy monstrosity in the garish pot. He banged his head against the wall lightly as he zoned out. The music was stupid. He had no clue what it was or who was singing. Something old, probably. Old and stupid. Owen sometimes listened to old music. But Zach enjoyed the mellowness of it. This stuff, he didn't enjoy.
People ambled by his hiding spot but no one seemed to see him. And then a shadow fell across the bit of light the tree allowed him. He turned and looked up.
"Hey." He shadow said softly.
Zach's eyes widened and he scrambled up as quick as he could, bumping his elbow into the odd plant thing. "Hey." He reached out and grabbed onto Owen. He pulled the older man against him, his fingers clutching at Owen's shirt. He wanted to kiss him. Well truthfully, he wanted to rip the clothes off the man's perfect body right there, behind the ugly ass tree thing. But even the tree couldn't block out Owen's large frame. And it would be very bad if they were caught making out, or worse, at his aunt's party.
Owen smiled against him and pulled away. He took a step back, still smiling broadly. "Have you been hiding here the whole night?"
Zach shrugged and looked at the ground. "Not the whole night." He mumbled. "Just most of it."
Owen let out a laugh and took another step back. "Come on."
Zach instinctively stepped with him, like he was attached to Owen by some invisible tether. They kept their distance, albeit a small distance, as they weaved through the people. Zach would much rather have stayed behind his new tree friend with Owen. But Owen had other plans. He drug Zach by the invisible tether out of the dancing, drunk people and towards the bar. An actual bar. With a bartender. Zach rolled his eyes and kept back as Owen grabbed two beers.
Then Owen turned towards him and held one out to him. He smiled. "Before your family sees."
Zach rolled his eyes again as he grabbed the beer. But he was smiling as he sipped the liquid. He pulled out his phone and checked quickly. 11:55. It was nearly midnight. He leaned closer to Owen, whispering loudly so Owen could hear over the music. "I wish I could kiss you at midnight."
Owen smiled and took another long drink of his beer. "Should have gone somewhere else."
Zach's mouth dropped open. "You made me come." He snapped.
Owen shrugged. "I didn't want to come." He said, like it was Zach's fault.
Zach breathed out loudly. "Then why are we even here?"
Owen smiled and took another drink. "Because Claire said I had to."
"So... you could have came in, said hi, and then left?"
Owen finished off his beer and grabbed Zach's back. "We could have. If I didn't have to spend so long searching for you."
"Hey!" A loud, slurring voice yelled. "It's almost midnight!"
Suddenly, it got even louder. Everyone around them started cheering and roaring. Someone bumped into Zach and he turned. But there were suddenly too many people and he couldn't tell who it had been. He turned back to Owen. The bottles were gone and Owen was smiling at him.
"10!"
Owen needed to stop smiling at him.
"9!"
Zach glanced around the room quickly.
"8!"
He couldn't see his brother. Or his parents or his aunt.
"7!"
Or any other member of his dumb family that might have been invited.
"6!"
Zach turned back to look at Owen and the god in front of him was smiling brightly as he counted down with the crowd.
"5!"
Owen really needed to stop smiling at him.
"4!"
Zach bit his lip.
"3!"
He really wanted to kiss Owen at midnight.
"2!"
Fuck it.
"1!"
Zach surged forward before Owen could react and stop him. At that moment, he didn't care that he was in his aunt's house, full of his family and people Owen worked with. People who didn't, who couldn't know Owen and he were dating. That they'd been dating for a month short of a year and Zach had been still 17 when they started. He threw his arms around Owen's neck and pulled the older man down against him. He brought their lips together and he could feel Owen smile against him. He felt Owen wrap his arms around his waist and Zach melted against him.
"OWEN!"
They pulled apart quickly to see Claire staring at them, wide eyed and not nearly drunk enough to forget come morning.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I uh... write crappy fanfiction. 8D About Owen and Zach and Jurassic World. Some people tell me I'm good. But I'm humble enough to say I'm just okay. I'm also awesome enough to say check my stuff out. 8D
Oh look. I finally got my account reopened. Which I joined years ago to follow a webcomic that then stopped. And uh... I still can't tumble. I don't understand this. I don't know why I try. But uh... yeah. So...
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