15% sized egg

[spooksandwheezes]

this bitch said “,okay,”

[raviposting]

Shane: “If you are going to kill me, turn the right one off.”

[music note as flashlight turns off]

Shane: “Okay!”

[alexander]

subway employees when i tell them i want a sub:

[pondwitch]

poor bastard… looks like the perp slapped his balls clean off

[wet-monsoon]

the two panera bread cashiers that watched me order a single cup of soup before falling asleep in a booth for an hour

[capacity]

*listens to an album for the first time and enters a new era in my life*

[walllflxwerr]

This gives me chills. The fact that something so simple can be such a poignant placemarker in life. The fact that this first listen will tuck itself away in your memory and that the 87th listen will draw memories out of that safe place your brain is keeping especially for that album. What a gorgeous little treasure to share only between you and your younger self.

[capacity]

…that was some real shit you just said

[bulkbuys-deactivated20191105]

[stability]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[pinklovehearts]

what if you left a spam comment 😦😦 on my post 😳😳😳 and you were a bot called Olivia 🤭🤭🤭 and we are both girls 🤪🤪

[olivia1863fde]

hills,

[pinklovehearts]

[witchingh0urs]

“When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.”

— Lisa Unger (via quotemadness)

[loversinarush]

[fatfrogsblog]

fashionable

[xenosaga]

[legostarwarstriplejumpglitch]

this was a coded transmission concealing information about the positions of american nuclear submarines

[notvoid]

[leoprincess777]

💗💖🍁 AND MAY THIS OCTOBER BRING INTENSE LUCK IN LOVE 💗💖🍁

[astraldemise]

god nerfed me by making me allergic to garlic and sunlight

[valquita]

so, a vampire?

[astraldemise]

i can confirm that i am not a vampire as i have blood

[nisslaboratories]

Is it your blood?

[astraldemise]

it is blood, yes

[nisslaboratories]

Is it blood that has always belonged to you, from the moment of your spawning?

[astraldemise]

it is blood, it is in my possession, therefore it is my blood

[tahthetrickster]

[whiteteethteens]

and words….are FUTILE devices !!!

[hall--o--ween]