It’s your first day at Reverse School.
You’re not sure what to expect, so it comes as a surprise when the teacher hands you a completed test.
You pull a pencil out of your book bag and erase all 100 questions.
Next, it’s time for all the lectures. Day after day, you listen to your teachers drone on-an-on *in reverse* about math, history, science, and art.
When it comes time for the last day of 12th Grade, you and your Mommy are not sure if the school is working. You feel normal!
However, when the teacher hands you a test, but you struggle to understand the questions.
Who was the French President during the Revolution? You can’t name anyone French, so you guess C.
What’s the capital of Jamaica? You don’t even know if that’s a real country! Sounds made up.
Lucky for you, a 25% grade is passing on this multiple choice test.
Mommy’s very proud of you when you come home and you’re served breakfast for dinner, one of your favorites.
Losing your license is a right of passage at RHS.
You bully the Freshmen who have lost more social skills than you, but it’s mostly out of jealousy. You and your friends dream about what it’s like at Reverse Middle and Elementary School.
Some Mommies and Daddy’s pull their little’s out after Middle School, but you are all planning to be friends all the way back to Kindergarten.
Losing your Sex Ed makes you feel weird, but Mommy says it’s okay. Just rub your diaper, she says. This fun activity helps your mood out during your boring reverse lectures.
You’re a little unsure why the Sex Ed course reignited your bedwetting, but you feel better when Lexi, the hottest girl in school, begins rocking a crop top and skinny jeans with a pull-up peaking out of her waistband.
The months go by fast after your high school demotion. Mommy says that mental decay happens much quicker than learning in school. Middle and Elementary Uneducation only takes a single school year.
You’re having fun un-reading Percy Jackson and forgetting long division. Mommy begins setting up playdates when you become too awkward to make plans yourself.
You and Lexi stop hanging out together. You loved rubbing your pull-ups together at lunchtime. You’re not sure why Mommy stopped inviting her over. Maybe your diapers were getting too sticky?Mommy’s such a meanie sometimes. At least she’s good at changing your nighttime diapers.
Once you’ve passed Potty Training with enough wet diapers, you can move to Reverse Elementary.
Mommy doesn’t like your diapers messy, so you’re pulled out of Advanced Potty Training.
Lucky for you, it gives you more time to forget language. This is why Mommy chose this school out of all the other regression academies.
By Week 4, you are back to Magic Treehouse. Mommy then takes you to a zoo where you call all four-legged animals “Doggie and Kitty”.
The world is really small by your final month in school. Mommy takes you out for ice cream in celebration for “passing” your last spelling test. Mommy is pleased to notice your speech impediment reappear two days later. No more Rs and Ls anymore! Mommy treats you to “Chocowate Ice Cweam” from your favorite shop to celebrate.
The Final Demotion is a beautiful ceremony. The class of 27 students waddle out in the auditorium. Lexi stops halfway and pouts, shouting “I DON’ WANNA!”
The kindergarten teacher speaks to her softly out of earshot, but the girl doesn’t cooperate.
“Pants are for big girls, I not a big girl.” She says slowly, tears welling up in her eyes. Her bulging skinny jeans are nearly ripping around her large pink diaper.
Losing your decency is a great sign of the student’s regression, so Mr. Jones leans into Lexi’s desires. He carefully pulls off the jeans to reveal her wet princess themed diaper. She’ll go through the rest of the ceremony in her Blue’s Clues shirt, pink diaper and velcro light-up sneakers.
The mommies and daddies in the crowd all applaud as the students give back their elementary school diplomas that they earned 15-25 years prior.
Next, it’s singing time. You all sing songs for what feels like hours. You can’t wait to be a singer when you grow up.
