Shazlia Razali

[kurniawangunadi]

Tutorial Jatuh Cinta

Jatuh cintalah pada seseorang yang perasaan cintanya lebih besar darimu. Karena ia akan membuatmu menjadi sangat berharga. Bersedia untuk melakukan hal-hal kecil untukmu, menggendong anakmu saat kelelahan, membiarkanmu tetidur dan ia membereskan rumah, membelamu jika ada orang lain yang menyerangmu, menyediakan makanan-makanan kecil saat kamu malas memasak, dan tidak marah-marah saat kamu menghabiskan uang yang digunakan untuk kebutuhan kalian berdua. Jatuh cintalah pada seseorang yang memiliki cara berpikir yang baik, yang luas, yang terbuka. Karena di dalam pikirannya nanti kamu akan tinggal. Karena cara berpikirnya itulah yang akan kamu hadapi selama kalian bersama. Tentu merepotkan tinggal bersama orang yang ternyata cara berpikirnya mudah menerima hoax, tidak bisa mencerna informasi dengan baik, tidak bisa mengambil keputusan dengan bijak, tidak ada keinginan untuk berkembang, tidak punya pendirian yang kuat. Lelah sekali tinggal di pikiran yang seperti itu, bukan? Jatuh cintalah pada seseorang yang mudah diajak berbicara. Kamu tak perlu merasa takut untuk mengutarakan segala isi hatimu, mengutarakan segala penatmu, mengajaknya berdiskusi untuk keluargamu. Tentu tidak enak jika selama bersama, kalian tidak bisa membicarakan hal-hal penting untuk keluargamu. Bahkan, untuk sekedar mengatakan bahwa kamu lelah dan memintanya untuk mengasuh anak sebentar saja, kamu takut. Tak leluasa untuk berbicara. Padahal, memiliki teman bicara seumur hidup yang nyaman itu benar-benar anugrah yang tak ternilai.

Kalau kamu ingin jatuh cinta, tutup sejenak matamu dari hal-hal yang kamu lihat darinya. Rasakan dari hatimu, berpikirkan sejauh mungkin. Seberapa bisa kamu hidup dengan sosok sepertinya. Karena apa yang kamu lihat dari matamu, seperti kecantikan/ketampanan itu akan usang dimakan usia, harta bisa hilang, jabatan bisa lepas.  Kalau nanti kamu jatuh cinta, kamu tak lagi takut jatuh ditempat yang menyakitkan karena kamu bisa memilih di tempat seperti apa cintamu jatuh. Hati-hatilah memilihnya. Kalaupun harus menempuh jalan yang panjang dan berliku, tidak apa-apa. Kalau harus menempuh waktu yang lama, tidak apa-apa. Tidak apa-apa.

©kurniawangunadi

[free-my-mindd]

The older I get the more I appreciate how I was raised.

[typelikeagirl]

[supermoonscarab]

too much self reflection is not a good thing honestly. go outside and plant a garden and then cook yourself a homemade dinner then mop the floors and change your sheets and take a hot shower then you won’t care so much

[theselfcarelifestyle]

What are you supposed to do when someone hurt you while taking care of themself? If I'm allowed to take care of myself, and they're allowed the same, how am I supposed to feel? I shouldn't feel betrayed or hurt, because they have every right to take care of themself first. They didn't need to take care of me. But I'm definitely hurt. It's not really their problem, but I don't know how to feel.

Honestly, I think it’s okay to feel whatever comes up. When you say you ‘shouldn’t’ feel something, I sense there might be a little shame around the feelings you are having. It’s okay to sit with that shame as well and let it pass through. I guess when you push away certain feelings like anger, jealousy, hurt, betrayal, etc. I’d imagine you’re not actually getting rid of them but just squashing them down which means they’ll probably need to be processed sooner or later.

[kurniawangunadi]

“Di antara Lebih dan Kurang ada yang namanya Cukup. Lebih disertai dengan Syukur, kurang disertai dengan Sabar. Lalu Cukup disertai dengan apa? Ya, Syukur. Semoga ketika kita bersyukur apa yang kita punya dilebihkan. Semoga ketika kita bersabar apa yang kita punya dicukupkan.”

— Aamiin. (via didilaras)

[phoebe-does]

No one has everything together. “having it all” Is a very well constructed lie, you can do very well with your school, your health but your social life will be lacking. You could have enough family time, focus on health but your work will be lacking. You cannot devote your energy 100% into everything you do, if you think you do, you’ll find your mental health is taking a toll. 

Don’t feel like your life is out of your control simply because you’re failing in one aspect of it, it’s the same for everyone. No one has it all, so focus on the things that DO MATTER and prioritise in that order, it’ll be okay. Allow yourself to be human.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions, as if it’s somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life.”

— Colleen Hoover

[3dni-deactivated20220418]

we often talk about the things we find beneficial to our growth or guilts as a whole, and we somehow let people in so that they could acknowledge such growth or guilts on themselves too.

like how our parents painfully told us to never commit any mistakes, how they sometimes pushed us too far because their parents once didn’t learn to comfort them, too? how easy it is to relate to someone talking about death and loss now because we would love to lend a hand in any way we could? how our parent’s death was something we could never talk about before, how small we were when it all happened and how easy it was for us to just move on, as how we had always been told to — yet we then grew up and got married and how hurt it is to actually admit: that none of her/his details we could even remember? how we would spend our parenthood now thinking or writing about his/her mere death, after all the years we could never learn to properly grieve?

we only talk about the things we find comfort in, not because we are told to do so but we want to learn to break the cycles; to forgive our past-self, to live with the tragedies and to accept it as it is. we want to really let some things go so that we could grow, too.

[penaimaji]

Penerimaan

Dalam sebuah obrolan, suamiku bercerita. Waktu itu ayah bilang ke aku gini, 'kalau sama insan itu harus sabar. Tapi, saya lihat mas ini orangnya sabar'.

Alisku terangkat. Lalu aku bertanya padanya, "trus mas jawabnya apa?"

"Ya senyum aja. Aku tau ayah cuma mau membesarkan hatiku aja", jawabnya merendah.

"Lah, mas waktu itu mikir gimana setelah ayah bilang gitu? Mas nggak takut nikah sama aku?", tanyaku.

"Ya ngapain takut? Waktu itu aku udah seneng mau nikah"

"Aneh banget sih"

"Loh kenapa aneh? Ya terserah aku, aku seneng kok", jawabnya.

Memang benar firman Allah, bahwa setiap manusia diciptakan berpasang-pasangan. Meski dari cerita-cerita yang tak terduga sekalipun. Ya, tentu. Aku yang sekarang luluh dengan kesabaran dan rendah hatinya.

Selama ini, keluargaku melihat aku adalah anak kecil yang ambisius, tempramen dan sulit diatur. Namun, aku seperti itu karena punya alasan, selalu punya pendapat dan itu semua tidak lepas dari mereka juga.

Semakin dewasa, aku berusaha membasuh luka-lukaku, dan mengenal bagaimana aku juga kedua orang tuaku. Berusaha berubah meski orang lain akan selalu melihat aku sama seperti dulu. Aku berusaha untuk memperbaiki hubunganku dengan mereka. Meski rasanya tidak mudah, disaat kita sering terluka karena mereka juga.

Namun, Islam mengajarkan setiap hamba untuk berbakti pada orang tua, bahkan sekalipun orang tua itu fasik dan kafir, tetap harus berbakti dan taat selama tidak mengajak pada kemaksiatan. Ya, apalagi orang tua yang masih beriman pada Allah? Apalagi kalau mereka juga sudah berusaha berubah menjadi lebih baik?

Bagaimanapun juga, mereka tetap orang tua kita. Mereka yang banyak berkorban untuk kita, juga membesarkan kita. Masa lalu, tetaplah masa lalu, semua bisa diperbaiki kalau kita mau berusaha.

Allah melihat hamba-Nya yang berdoa, Allah melihat hambaNya yang bersungguh-sungguh.

Dulu, salah satu keinginanku sebelum menikah ialah aku ingin menikah dengan seorang lelaki yang bisa membantuku untuk tetap berbakti pada orang tua. Aku ingin menikah dengan sosok yang juga dicintai kedua orang tuaku.

Itulah mengapa, aku meletakkan restu orang tua di depan setelah istikharahku. Aku akan menikah apabila kedua orang tuaku tidak berselisih atau berbeda pendapat, juga setuju aku menikah. Aku akan menikah apabila hatiku sudah tidak lagi gusar dan ragu. Aku akan menikah ketika aku sudah lepas dari masa lalu.

Aku menangis bahagia. Aku sangat bersyukur menikah dengannya meski kami dan keluarga kami sama-sama tidak sempurna.

Aku bercerita tentang masa kecilku; aku bercerita tentang riwayat penyakitku; aku bercerita pengalamanku; aku bercerita tentang benang merah dari semua permasalahanku pada suamiku. Aku meminta maaf padanya, karena aku punya banyak kekurangan.

"Aku lebih banyak kurangnya", jawabannya selalu begitu.

Aku tenggelam dalam tangisanku. Jauh sebelum aku hendak berkata, aku ingin ia memahamiku, namun, ia justru lebih dulu bisa mengerti bagaimana aku.

Menikah itu bukan hanya soal kita merasa cocok dengannya, tapi juga keluarganya; bukan hanya merasa kita cinta padanya; bukan juga untuk mencari bahagia.

Namun, kita juga siap menerima semua kekurangannya; memaafkan masa lalunya; melihat latarbelakang keluarganya dan memberi ruang padanya untuk terus bertumbuh dan berbenah.

Tempuhlah prosesnya dari awal dengan niat dan cara yang baik, supaya Allah beri keberkahan di dalamnya.

Belajarlah untuk membangun komunikasi yang baik. Ketika semua dibicarakan, lalu hati kita selalu lapang menerima, niscaya kita akan bahagia.

Buntok, 4 Oktober 2021 | Pena Imaji

[temansenyawa]

Makin hari makin mengerti, bahwa hidup adalah tempat di mana kesusahan-kesusahan itu berada, hidup adalah tempat di mana masalah-masalah itu selalu ada. Jadi sekarang sering-sering minta doa, minta dikasih kesabaran yang gak ada batasan, minta dikasih kelapangan hati di tengah banyaknya kesulitan, minta dimudahkan dalam memaafkan, minta dimampukan dalam mengikhlaskan. Sekarang doa-doaku jadi punya kalimat sesederhana itu, sekali pun sedikit demi sedikit, semoga menjadi terbiasa dan terwujud seiring berjalannya waktu.

[ouroborosmotifs]

most of the time everything sucks but when the sky is blanketed in dark blue-grey clouds after heavy raining and the sun starts to peek through the clouds so that the tops of trees glint pale green and every white structure is starkly, blindingly silhouetted against the sky i’m ok.

[nightlyquotes]

“Just because it’s not happening right now, doesn’t mean it never will.”

— Unknown

[julaibib]

Making dua is the only time where you can be passionately selfish and selfless at the same exact moment because you know the giving and granting of Allah is infinite and limitless. So when that time approaches make dua for yourself and don’t forget about others at the same time

[beyondgenre-deactivated20260110]

Do you know when you have lost something, like a set of keys or a favourite t-shirt, and while looking for it you come across something else you once missed but have long since forgotten? Whatever it is, there came a point when you stopped searching, maybe because it was no longer needed, or maybe because it was replaced, or maybe just because it was too much work to keep looking for it. It is almost as if it never existed in the first place, until that moment of rediscovery, a flash of recognition.

I guess, everyone has that inventory which is waiting to be found. Yearning to be acknowledged for the worth they once held in your life.

In your life, I believe, that is where I belong, among all your lost things. A crumpled note at the bottom of the drawer, an old photograph pressed between the pages of a book. Maybe, someday you will find me and remember what I once meant to you.

[julaibib]

Slm. During difficult times how does faith help?

Tawakkul is from faith and Tawakkul is the means by which we right our course and stay on it, and bring about resolve and contentment. The benefits of tawakkul are many, among them that you hand over to Allah that which burdens your heart and mind. Realize that you are not broken, abandoned, or forgotten, but that Allah has actually given you exactly what you need. Knowing this, the believer acknowledges with certainty and confidence, “And my success is not but through Allah. Upon him I have relied, and to Him I return.”

Even when all doors appear to have been closed, as true believers we should never let feelings of helplessness succumb us. Consider the following Hadith of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and ibn Al-Qayyim’s commentary on that Hadith:

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive to do that which will benefit you and seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say ‘If only I had done (such and such), the such and such would have happened,’ rather say: ‘Allah has decreed and what He wills He does,’ for ‘if only’ opens the door to the work of the shaitan.” (Muslim, 2664).

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

This Hadith includes several important principles of faith, including the following: “Do not feel helpless”: Feeling helpless is contrary to striving for that which will benefit him, and it is contrary to seeking the help of Allah.

The one who strives for that which will benefit him and seeks the help of Allah is the opposite of the one who feels helpless, so this is telling him, before what has been decreed happens, of that which is one of the greatest means of attaining it, which is striving for it whilst seeking the help of the One in Whose hand is control of all things, from Whom they come and to Whom they will return.

A strong faith can keep you focused on the fact that Allah alone ultimately controls all destinies and has power over all things. Remembering that fact alone at the moment of affliction can help you in conquering the pain and provide you hope and the energy to keep moving forward.

[her-serenespace-deactivated2022]

If you can - let your loved ones contribute to your worship and gain deeds as well.

For example I make sure to always use the prayer mats my grandmother made for me so that she gains reward too Or the Qur'an stand my dad made for me.

Mum's simple old hijabs when I pray.If you attend deen classes, get your mum to buy you a simple pencil so she is rewarded for every single letter you write down. Use the hijabs people gift you when you pray. Use the Qur'an someone gave you.

Literally the simplest things are a means for them to be rewarded too. Gift people things as well, for it increases you in nothing but love.