why ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @shazzadoo - Tumblr Blog

i fear i may be homeless soon

so it goes

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

federfleisch

Friends come and go. Relationships end. That edgy character you latched onto at age 12 is forever

I hear that

I keep thinking this! very frustrating

argumate

fuck!

omtai

Does anyone care if the boulder is happy does anyone imagine the boulder to be happy? Or is everything about that other guy

I have been on hold for like 20 minutes gd i just want to know if i can pick my car up today :(((( i miss it and i'm running out of food and i need to know if i need to reschedule an appointment 200 miles away for the THIRD TIME this month

#i suffer

iwasjustdrinking

“How could you begin? I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning; but what could set you off in the first place?”

peach-paradox

the crushing weight of one manageable task

hutsonwoolyums

Ok I’m actually starting to get a little defensive of Ilya because why am I seeing more and more characterization of him as messy, undisciplined, irresponsible, etc.

Like yes, he’s more carefree than Shane, but he’s also one of the best hockey players in the world and you don’t get there without an insane amount of discipline, and even beyond that we literally see him acting as a caretaker for his father, managing money for his brother, arranging his father’s funeral and getting it done quickly and efficiently, none of that is the behavior of someone who’s never used a calendar…

ilyapasta

Wait wait wait can I?? Can I add?????

I think what’s delicious about Ilya is his self worth related to these concepts. He thinks he’s lazy, messy, undisciplined. You listen, you don’t soeak. Yes. You need a haircut. Yes, Father. The problem is leadership. Yes, nod, yes. But repeatedly we are shown that Ilya is good. He’s an attentive lover, he’s a good friend. He tries to be a good son to a hard man. He gives his brother whatever he asks for. He inspires his teammates. He worries that Ryan Price’s book will fall on the floor and oh fuck Price is going to lose his place, I will help, oh fuck, I failed.

But his family tells him he’s no good, so it must be true. They have been the loudest voices in his life and that’s literally become his inner monologue. But then here comes Shane “I don’t know that side of you at all” Hollander and soon enough Ilya is monologuing into the phone on the street outside of his father’s funeral about how actually no. He’s given everything to his family. He makes everything perfect. And he couldn’t physically be there for his father all the time but he paid for it all. And yet they despise him. He knows why, or says he does. But I don’t think does, I think in that moment the seed is planted that Ilya is lovable. And he doesn’t have to be perfect, he doesn’t have to drain himself dry. The person who loves him is trying to fill his cup from thousands of miles away.

Ilya lives somewhat hedonistically because he has a nihilist edge. What does it fucking matter, Hollander? He has a hopelessness, but he fights it. These characters are triumphant, even if that triumph is bittersweet. If Shane is on a journey to self acceptance then Ilya’s is one of self-actualization. The more he loves, the more he loves himself.