I just returned from watching the Odyssey and I’m gonna be honest
It wasn’t half as bad as I expected
I still have beef with Nolan for not casting or at least asking some actual fucking greeks about it, but it wasn’t horrible. Not by a long shot.
Things I disliked: the fact that they had a guy translate between a GREEK VILLAGER and a GREEK SOLDIER, the way they portrayed Circe, the god-ification of Agamemnon, the Polyphemus arc, no Aeolus or wind bag, no Hermes helping Ody at Circe’s
Things I liked: Eumeus, accurate bitching Melantho, accurate Penelope’s weaving trick, Eurycleia recognizing Odysseus by the scar she had stitched on his leg, the plain depiction of the fact that Calypso was keeping Odysseus captive while believing she was justified to do so, Penelope envisioning the torturous death of the suitors, the bow-stringing challenge, the acknowledgement of Helen’s relation with Clytemnestra, the golden pin (I don’t remember whether the pin existed in the odyssey but it was a really nice touch) and the understanding between Penelope and Odysseus, Telemachus trying so hard and failing at being imposing but it’s okay bc he succeeded in the end
Overall, it’s much better than I expected. From what I had heard online, I thought it was gonna be ridiculously inaccurate but they actually stayed true to text for the most part, which, as a greek mythology nerd, I appreciated a lot.
Also thank you to whoever made sure the villager who spoke Greek actually knew how to speak Greek, instead of making Americans mumble half assed Ancient Greek like that recent Indiana Jones movie
Like I have my issues with it. But it was much better than the misrepresented glorified fanfic I thought it was gonna be guys. On its own it’s a pretty entertaining movie. As an adaption it could have been so much worse.
“A kiss may be grand, but it won’t pay the rental, on your humble flat, or help you at the automat.”
Like literally the most famous song about how much girls love jewellry is just explaining the importance of getting jewellry for when your partner leaves you penniless and alone.
The founder of Girl Scouting in the US, Juliette Gordon Low, funded her first troop by selling her pearl necklace, which was her only belonging after her husband died and left everything to his mistress.
She founded Girl Scouts to teach girls self-sufficiency so they wouldn’t have to go through what she went through when her husband died and she didn’t know how to take care of herself.
While we’re on the subject, let’s please also remember that historically disenfranchised communities who had to worry about frequently being run out of town often bought expensive jewelry with their limited funds not because they were greedy or tacky or classless, but rather because you can’t sew a real estate investment into the lining of your coat, and the powers that be can’t freeze a diamond necklace the way that they can freeze a bank account.
I see bagginshield everywhere I look these days so
Something something dwarves are (seen as) greedy and value jewels and gold a lot because it’s the only way to make other races look at them with a resemblance of respect.
I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."
"I'm really not good at it," the king admits with horrible, aching grief. The country is in disarray. Peasants go hungry. Nobles trade power amongst themselves with impunity.
So the queen takes over and ruthlessly sets things to rights. Fires several generals, hangs nobles, redirects wealth to the peasantry. It isn't long before the first assassination attempt, which she expected.
She did not expect her docile, beetle-obsessed husband to go absolutely feral and fling himself at the assassins wielding a pair of sharp knives.
Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).
The Queen says she’ll negotiate a trade deal with a neighboring country that has also suffered from the worm blight and her husband stares at her for a long moment.
“No,” he finally says. “We’re going to give them the beetles for free.”
Thinking about that headcanon that Thranduil is blind in one or both eyes bcs of the dragon fire (hobbit movies) so that’s why Legolas just says what he sees out loud all the time bcs he’s used to doing that for his dad
Legolas: I’ve never heard someone speak like that before…it was strange, and stilted, and you used full words the whole time.
Aragorn: Elves may sound fancy to us, Frodo, but they speak slang, and almost exclusively in metaphors.
Frodo: Oh.
Legolas: Aragorn has described it as ‘a monstrosity of a language’.
Gimli: Dwarves have a better language.
Legolas: You do.
Gimli: Ha! You admit- wait, you admit it?
Legolas: Elves curse by using the names of trees. Tree names! You have actually cusses. Do you know what I would give to cuss, just once in my life, Gimli? Do you know what I would give to tell someone to f- f- f- I can’t even say it.
Gimli: You can’t say fuck?
Legolas: …I have an idea.
-
Legolas: The-
Gimli: Fuck.
Legolas: -are you talking about?
Boromir: Why did we let the dwarf start swearing for the elf?
Aragorn: Because I can’t wait to see Thranduil’s face when he finds out.
My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.
Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??
Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??
How would my favorite Marvel men react to you having surgery.
I'm getting my gallbladder taken out in a couple of weeks, it will be my first surgery ever, so this is 100% self-indulgent. That's part of why I've been so absent this year, I've had an organ rebelling.
Doctor Stephen Strange
Will ask who your doctor is to see if he knows them. If not, he may send a referral to a trusted former colleague on your behalf. He's not letting you under the knife unless he knows you have a good surgeon.
Will tell you how routine the surgery is if you are starting to worry. Almost a bit blasé about your concerns, after all, bedside manner was never his strong suit as a surgeon. Plus, it really is a routine, laparoscopic procedure. Way less intricate & dangerous than neurosurgery.
1000% will try to micromanage everything once you're at the hospital prepping for or immediately out of surgery. He wants to see your chart. He wants to know what your most recent vitals are. Hell, he may have even asked if he can observe the surgery. Partly, it's him being overprotective, partly it's because he misses being a doctor.
Definitely breaking into the doctor's lounge for the good coffee, not the instant crap in the cafeteria.
After you are home, he will be vigilant about making sure you take your pain meds & will check your incisions to make sure everything is healing well. You are in very safe, if slightly neurotic hands.
Secretly, or not so secretly, enjoying getting to play doctor again to take care of you. Looking forward to when you are well enough that you can play doctor and patient the really fun way.
Bucky Barnes
May actually be a bigger mess than you are. Thanks to Hydra, medical anything makes his anxiety shoot through the roof. Now piled on top of that, he feels out of control & helpless to make you feel better.
Would have to be physically dragged out of your hospital room, so the hospital staff just lets the whole “visitors hours” thing slide.
The second you wake up, he is by your side asking if you need anything. Probably didn't sleep or even sit down the entire time you were in surgery.
If you even make an odd face, he's asking if you are in pain, and he has become a huge pain in the ass for your nurses.
May have thought about threatening your surgeon about if something went wrong.
Either guard dog mode, or he completely shuts down. There is no in between.
Afraid he's going to break you while you are recovering. Offers to sleep on the floor or on the couch just in case. Doesn't want to let you out of his sight until you are healed.
Steve Rogers
Tells you over and over how everything will be okay and that you are in good hands.
May tell you stories about how much hospitals and medical stuff has improved since he was so sick before the serum.
Reads up on your surgery and your doctors. He wants to understand as much as he can about what is going on. He probably has more questions for the doctor than you do.
Puts on a brave face for you but secretly will be a little nervous. He hates seeing you sick or in pain, and he can't help but worry a little bit.
Will respect hospital rules but will stay up until the very last minute of visiting hours are over. Knows the names of every nurse and doctor treating you.
Definitely has flowers or a stuffed bear for you as soon as you wake up from surgery.
Dotes on your every need once you are home and watches you like a hawk. The first few days, he doesn't even let you go to the bathroom by yourself. You can't get away with shortcutting your recovery under his eye.
Sam Wilson
Buys you a cute, silly stuffed version of whatever you are having surgery on to make you laugh. See my new stuffed sad gallbladder plush as reference here.
All the nurses love him, and he likes to crack jokes with all the staff. Offers to help with anything he can but mostly tries to stay out of their way.
Trying to make you smile all the way until they wheel you to the OR. He doesn't want you to be scared or nervous.
Like Steve, he will put on a brave face but will be nervous once you are in surgery. Lots of pacing back & forth. Lots of trips to the coffee machine.
Takes care of you once you are home but not quite as mother hen as Steve. Will let you judge what is best for you, but will 100% call you out if he sees you doing something the doctor told you not to.
Will also rat you out to your doctor if you don’t follow their instructions. He doesn't want to snitch, but he'd also rather not be the one to scold you.
Loki
Doesn't like the idea of someone operating on you. Trained surgeon or not, they are still just a simple Midgardian.
Doesn't like the hospital one bit. Comments on the color and decor, even the hideous hospital gown you have to wear. Partly to make you laugh, partly because it was all truly hideous.
If your surgeon even hesitates on a question you ask, Loki will assume they aren't the best and demand another doctor. You may have to talk him down a bit. He's a prince, after all, and he wants to make sure you are in the best hands possible.
The whole thing seems a bit barbaric to him. He would much have preferred using magic or Asgardian ways to heal you, but alas when on Midgard.
Secretly terrified something will happen to you, but would never tell you he's worried. Doesn't like that he can't do anything to help you.
Is not very used to taking care of people, and as royalty, he's the one used to being waited on, but he will try his best to do whatever you need him to do.
Will probably mostly ignore instructions from the doctor so you are in charge of that part of your care, but he will beg to accelerate your healing with his magic if he can.
Eddie Brock & Venom
Venom brings you chocolates, which he then eats after you tell him he can, and says not to worry because if the doctors don't take proper care of you he will bite off their heads and eat their brains.
Eddie is nervous but trying to be brave, so you won't be scared. It doesn't help that Venom keeps telling Eddie not to make you nervous, which then, in turn, makes him nervous. He will try to make jokes and keep you entertained however he can.
Eddie and Venom try not to argue while they wait for you to get done with surgery. The last thing you need is to wake up and find out that they ended up in the psych ward for talking to/arguing with themselves in the waiting room. They are on their best behavior.
Both of them try to wait on you hand and foot after you get home. You've had to eat several well-meaning but truly gross breakfasts in bed so as not to disappoint either of them. They mean so well, but neither of them can cook beyond tater tots.
You have woken up to Venom staring at you because “one of us has to watch you at all times until you are recovered”. He took that 100% seriously. He has also stuck tendrils under the bathroom door like cat paws.
One great thing about Venom is the fact that thanks to his tendrils, he can literally get anything you need from around the apartment in seconds without you or Eddie having to get up. This makes him one of the best nurses ever. All you have to do is hint that you want something and boom, it's there.
For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."
Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.
Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.
Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.
The best part is the local city council's reaction.
And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.
«Sam and Scott would take me in. Getting them to believe my roommate was a vampire might be difficult, but—
No. Getting them to believe my roommate was a vampire would be impossible. Sam was a lawyer, and Scott was an academic. They didn’t have enough imagination between them to change a light bulb. And I’d always been the eccentric friend. The one who could throw killer bachelor parties and collected existential crises like Pokémon, but who was perennially messing up in most important areas of her life.
They’d probably think I was delusional if I told the truth.»
You aren't the Chosen One. The prophecy doesn't even get going for another few generations. But you aren't just going to let some upstart conqueror trample your tulip garden just because the Fates say you can't beat him.
Shellku's Mind that Wanders... @shellku - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
