Growing up, my dad said armageddon would surely come before the year 2020. I was sure i wouldn't turn 20 in "this system of things"
I woke up in 2018 and left home a year later.
I guess in an ironic i was right.
As a kid i bought into the dream of paradise, yes partly because the world is full of suffering. But mostly my hope was to escape the life i was living as a witness. Being an other, preaching, the dailly routine of being a witness. I dreamed of a world where i was free and happy, eating delicous food and spending time with people I love.
And yeah maybe i thought id never get sick and have to do taxes. But in a way i did very much escape "this system of things" through my own apocalypse. I'm free of the organization and its doctrine. It cost me my family and my community. But now i can live authentically as myself and eat delicious food with my loved ones. That is a paradise of sorts.
Things are bad, fascism, climate change, genocide. But instead of hiding away in the fear of armageddon, i can now face those issues as they are and engage with them, while still living my life to the fullest.
To those of you facing your own personal armageddons right now, i know you're scared, i know you're hurting. I'm so sorry. The paradise waiting for you is not the one you imagined. But its full of life and joy and freedom if you let it in.
