Welcome to My Twisted Ankle

Rain, 30 year old cartoon trash & Ga(y)mer. They/them

[shewhoridesonrainbows]

Just started watching modern family, does Phil ever stop being creepy with Gloria and how long does it take

[injuries-in-dust]

Gotta admit, any one of these would work on me.

Love me some burritos.

Source: could be worse comics

[shewhoridesonrainbows]

Random life updates:

Ive moved cross country... 3 times

I got a pink toed tarantula from a reptile expo

4 months later I got a Mexican fire leg someone was rehoming

4 months after that I got a ball python from an expo.

I'm living in a home that we're buying so I was able to paint my walls and do my floor the way I like.

There may be a serious relationship on the horizon but its someone I've only talked with online the last year and a half. They're gonna visit after I get my furniture and everything set up

[rimpyspinkeye-deactivated202406]

[krudman]

[tundrakatiebean]

[undeadentropy]

Never have I seen the perfect application of two memes back to back so that both can stand without any alteration but the lack of words itself. This is a work of art. I would call this meme poetry.

[tidesandtwilight]

I respect your defense of bisexual woman and all but I just don’t want to put my mouth somewhere I know a dick has been

Yall out here acting like these girls’ pussies be haunted by the ghosts of penises past, this ain’t a Dickmas Carol, be so fucking for real

[bemusedlybespectacled]

[carolxdanvers]

"women are tainted by their previous sexual encounters" doesn't become less openly misogynistic just because it's said by a woman btw

[andthenyourealizethat]

a biblical themed restaurant called the Garden of Eatin’

[nintendowiimote]

One of the menu items is just “the forbidden fruit” and when I try to order it they kick me out

[lizmamont]

[eclecticopposition]

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

[carby]

Hey whoa hi. Hello. I am looking directly into your ear canal. What do you mean you drank a tube of virus concentrate.

[whyamiherewhosummonedme]

So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.

I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.

Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.

(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)

(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)

(for science.)

[violetthunderstorm]

You have a fitting blog title

[nico-the-overlord]

this post is getting 50k easy

[marlinspirkhall]

[teaboot]

This WOULD be how humanity would go out though tbh

[narwhalsarefalling]

lol i went to delete a twitter account for reasons (i ran a satire account of my university’s president) and it wouldn’t let me.

[narwhalsarefalling]

EXCELLENT idea give me a moment

[narwhalsarefalling]

wow i can’t believe that worked

[yourlocal-charlatan]

[Image ID: the first image is a screenshot of a tag that says #turn it into a musk parody account and get it banned

The second image is a screenshot of the now-suspended account. /end ID]

[seraphiclore-deactivated2026030]

for reference: the time between “turn into musk parody account” and “suspended” was 8 minutes

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[lonesplashy]

[bubblegumbeech]

TUE memes

[fancygermancar]

”pdf file” “unalived” “grape” “corn” what if i killed myself right here right now

[fancygermancar]

imagine you read the local newspaper and in the section where they discuss a recent murder they describe it as “young adult unalived by serial game ender”. like you’re a toddler surrounded by adults who need to watch their language around you. you’re sanitizing and cutting down gruesome, horrific actions and situations into digestible baby words. i know this has been said before by other people but i’m so so sick of it dude, don’t speak advertiser language to me.

[vamptits]

if grug honest grug a bit of a faggot.

[vamptits]

grug picking a different kind of fruit if you catch grug meaning. hunting a different type of bear.

[jeyneofpoole]

i wish people who dunk on “silly” southern accents and vernacular could experience the total derealization that comes with listening to yourself talk and realizing that it’s not your real voice anymore. i spent so many years flattening my accent to sound smarter that i have to remind myself constantly that it’s okay to use my real fucking voice. i’ve had customers at my job make fun of me to my face when i let it slip. when i’m public speaking or even speaking in class with my peers it goes away completely because i’m so terrified of being perceived as a hick. just imagine opening your mouth and hearing a strangers’ voice come out. i can’t stress how viscerally upsetting it is to not know what the real you sounds like anymore. just think for two seconds before you yell about how you can’t take southern or appalachian dialects seriously or i will blow you up with this bombbbbb i swear to godddddd

[asteroidtroglodyte]

My Wife: babe I think my dad might be autistic

Me: your face-blind, emotionally oblivious, picky eater of a father, who has numerous niche interests and the best-organized fly-tackle-box I have ever seen, might be autistic?

My Wife: you knew?

Me: you didn’t?

My Wife: babe I’m not ok I’m having a whole-

Me: you can hear the TVs, babe.

My Wife: What

Me, pointing at the special no-flicker lighting I installed in our house so that we never actually have to have the Big Overhead Light on: babe!

My Wife: … oh my god am I autistic?

Me:

My Wife:

Me: you didn’t know!?

My Wife: YOU DID!?

[dankmemeuniversity]

[spookygator]

Kamen Rider Den-O + Stardew Valley

[shaydh]

"DID YOU KNOW THIS PERSON DRAWS PORN I AM CLUTCHING MY PEARLS" cool i am blocking you

[volno]

Them: "I can't believe this artist draws porn!" Me:

[zzoupz]