let me try to word this better.
Right now you might be thinking things like "I need to change myself, I need to change how I think, I need to change who I am".
And the solutions you reach for (that you have been taught to reach for) will be things like "try harder, lock in, focus more, think better, do things better".
If a problem exists "inside your head", sometimes you can solve it in house, but a lot of the time you cannot and such attempts are wasting energy.
Instead, you need to change what's "outside your head".
Change what clothes you're wearing, take a shower, eat food, dress up nice, change who you're talking to, change what you're eating, put posters on your walls, change your phone wallpaper, change what name people call you, change how you talk about yourself, change how you sleep.
It feels like because it's indirect it'll be less effective, that's not true. That's not how this works.
A lot of the time you'll try to justify like "I need to change what's inside so that I can change what's outside", but this causality is wrong. Changing what's outside will change what's inside much more effectively.
In fact, your "mind" is not this magical special thing, and all that shit around you is part of you. The people around you shape your environment, your environment shapes your behaviors, your behaviors shape your body, your body shapes your mind. It's all continuous.
Aim up the stream of causality and shoot right and you'll minimize the effort needed to achieve the desired result. Practice and you'll get better at doing that. Do it right now and you'll get results fastest.
Be lazy about this. Don't spend eight weeks meditating to slowly change "how you feel" about something, spend ten minutes scheduling a coffee date, or dressing up nice and looking in the mirror, or taking a shower and laying down after, or cooking something tasty and taking a picture and sending it in a group chat, and you'll get the same results easier and faster.
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