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foxglovedforest

AND THEY’RE FUCKING CORRECT

thedankmemes

swiftieblink

TAYLOR SWIFT WALLPAPERS

Likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

requests for Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo and BLACKPINK headers, icons, layouts and wallpapers are open (please check my pinned before requesting)

nostalgicbones

the tomb won’t close, stained glass windows in my mind

oak23

thinking about the fucked up lore for the tinman in the wizard of oz

oak23

So he was just a regular ass munchkin man named Nick Chopper in love with a woman, Nimee Amee, but she was the ward of some old lady. And the old lady got the Wicked Witch of the East to enchant the Tin Man's axe so that it kept cutting off bits of Nick Chopper to get him to fuck off since she didn't want Nimee to get married.

But he was like, fuck that, I love Nimee and went on using the cursed axe and replacing his missing parts with tin.

However when the axe chopped out his heart, he lost interest in Nimee and became completely made of tin.

After the events of the Wizard of Oz, the Tinman decides that he would like to see what happened to the woman he loved and so he looks for her. He then comes across ANOTHER Tinman rusted in the forest, Captain Fyter who also was in love with the same woman and lost of his body parts the same way, but with his sword being cursed. They both miss Nimee but agree to find her and let her choose who she wants to be with.

And along the way, some fucked up shit happened when Tinman and Captain Fyter find the tinsmith that made their replacement parts. Turns out he has a barrel full of discarded human body parts.

And another fucked up thing??? It was missing important parts like Captain Fyter's head and Tin Man's limbs.

The most fucked up thing though???? After the Witch of the East got killed by Dorothy, fuckin,,,, Nimee Amee is married to a man named Chopfyt, who's made up of the leftover human parts from Nick Chopper and Captain Fyter glued together.

And Nimee is like "fuck off I just want to be left alone" and everyone collectively shrugs and goes back to their homes, while Captain Fyter works for the government that's ruled by a trans God.

dollsonmain

arealghost

So I went to the Josh Fight

a summary:

- Two Josh Swains were in attendance. OG Josh, hailing from Arizona

- And Nebraska's own Josh Swain, from Omaha.

(feat. An Audio Engineer doing THE MOST for that sound quality)

-All the local news stations were there

- The majority of attendees were from out of state

- The two Josh Swains battled for supremacy by Rock Paper Scissors duel.

- The victor? Josh Swain, from Arizona. A crushing defeat for Josh Swain, who despite having none of Josh Swain's newfound Twitter Clout, DID have the home team advantage, as well as a Great Look.

- Following the Josh Swain Duel and coronation of the One True Josh Swain, there was an All-Josh pool noodle battle royale

- A brief list of notable Josh Variants I saw in this battle:

Josh Swain (Prime)

Josh Swain (Secondary)

Medieval Josh (full chain mail armor)

Spider Josh (x2)

"Josh Wick" (had pool noodles mounted to two electric drills for spin-attack capabilities)

Furry Josh (A Josh in a fursuit)

Big Josh (A large man with the words "Big Josh" painted on his bare torso, and "Dad Bod" painted on his back. Armed with pool noodle wolverine claws)

Little Josh (A small boy of about 5 years old)

Luchador Josh

Roman Centurion Josh

The rules were simple. Enter the ring and fight honorably (no headshots, no hits below the belt.) If you are hit with a pool noodle, you are dead, having fallen in glorious battle. The last Josh standing would be the winner.

The battle lasted a little over sixty seconds in total. The final victor was....

LITTLE JOSH, THE SMALLEST COMBATANT.

The crowd was going wild. The chanting for Little Josh was deafening. Truly there could have been no better outcome.

pool noodle combat was then opened to the general public, for fun rather than glory.

As for Josh Prime, he was like a very cool dude! As of last reporting, he raised $6600 dollars for the Children's Hospital and a truckload of nonperishables for the local food bank alongside the other Josh Fight attendees! He offered masks to any maskless people he met, and did his best to keep things as safe and socially distanced as he could, despite the ungodly amount of people who showed up to this random fucking field outside of Lincoln, Nebraska.

(Also for the Nebraskans: Yes he tried a Runza, and yes he says he enjoyed it.)

So anyway. Shoutout to the one and only Josh Swain.

chemtra1ls-deactivated20210901

You. Cannot. Tell.

sleepyowlet

Just to be clear. The message here is not, “All men are scum.” It’s not even, “Most men are scum.” This is not what it’s about, and fuck every TERFy shitwaffle who tries to co-opt this. We don’t need that kind of rhetoric spreading the belief that “men are naturally evil” and that “men can't help being that way.” That’s just complete bullshit.

The message is, “A few men are murdering, raping bastards, but they are very good at pretending to be perfectly good, normal men, and we have no way of telling who they are so we have to be super cautious because society and law-enforcement can't be counted on to have our backs.”

saturnisfilledwithbees

“Put him on his knees give him something to believe in” has the exact same energy and depth of meaning as anything Hozier puts out on the regular but since it’s sung by Megan Thee Stallion no one takes it seriously. In this essay I will-

saturnisfilledwithbees

To flesh this out a little bit more: both Megan Thee Stallion and Hozier write and sing really sexual songs, but they’re different in that Hozier’s music is typically “let me worship you” while Megan’s is usually “I’m worshipping myself,” which makes all the difference because it’s an acceptance of power rather than the giving of it. He’s the sinner, she’s the saint. However, taking their difference in genres out of it, people don’t usually seem to take Megan Thee Stallion’s music seriously in comparison to Hozier because a) her lyrics are more overtly and blatantly sexual and b)she’s claiming her sexuality for herself, and that scares a lot of people. The secret, no-one-wants-to-talk-about reason is that she’s a confident black woman, which terrifies people way than sex does. In conclusion, Hozier and Megan Thee Stallion are two sides of the same poetic, sexual coin, but people just don’t want to admit it. Which is WHY a collaboration between Hozier and Megan would be so powerful that it would change the timeline as we know it yes I will elaborate

wistful-giselle

just thinking of how our meaning or purpose in life is merely to experience. eating an orange segment, hoping for snow, being in love, returning over and over to one painting, stepping outside for the full moon, submersion in water, having a favourite colour, knowing beauty, feeling alone, feeling connected, feeling longing… it is enough.

inkskinned

I have been thinking of the ways we tell people things. My father's hands shake, but he holds the phone up so I can watch the video from six feet away. My mother emails me the recipe of her beef stroganoff at 6 in the morning with the comment - woke up and didn't want to forget to do this! On the highway, we sing so loudly my voice grows hoarse; on the beach I sneak nice rocks into people's hands so they have something to hold, on the floor we all sit quietly in the same agreeable silence. We are all saying the same thing.

My friends say "Oh you know, keeping busy." This means they are having a hard time but making themselves survive it. I ask them to help me walk me dog; this is me telling them it's okay sometimes to just be present and talk about young adult fiction. When I cancel again because I can't get out of bed, she tells me she's on her way with cookies.

I point out the sunset. She shares her fork before I ask for it. He calls me at 1 AM just because I'm on the road alone, we talk about stupid shit. She waits for me to get indoors safely before driving away. He says - nah, forget it, I'm happy to do it for free.

People are saying it, you know? They say it often and loudly. Sometimes, you know - you just have to be listening.

gallicinvasion

Another woman utterly failed by our society’s devaluation of women’s reproductive health. We can’t wait around for male doctors to decide what we need to know. This is why we need to take control and educate ourselves about our own bodies.

gallicinvasion

and here’s some comments i saw under the post. why is this a pattern?? why is this a recurring theme?? why is this information not common knowledge? what the fuck are doctors doing??

sora2522

This is news to me so let’s share it so people will know!

halfhardtorock

Gross tmi: but i passed a pretty big clot after having my daughter. It was about the size of a baseball. It actually hurt worse because while 15 hours of labor opened my cervix, i passed the clot in 30 minutes. I knew it was a possibility because of my midwife and reading, but everyone Ive told after this (mostly other pregnant women) were shocked that this could happen.

In our culture, it’s much more common to do deep research about what family cars we want to buy than we do about childbirth when we ’re pregnant.

skeleton-warrior-deactivated201

Tmi: I passed a huge clot after birth in the bathroom of my hospital room and called the nurse sobbing because I didn’t know it was normal. She treated me like an idiot, but NO ONE told me it was a possibility. And the pain associated with healing for the first couple of weeks after birth was worse than the labor imo. Again, I had no idea. They didn’t tell me a thing besides “sitz bath regularly and change your pads.” Before discharging me from the hospital.

evashandor

I was most definitely told about this in school. Fucking hell, 4-6 weeks of bleeding? My periods were/are bad enough, why the hell don’t we get told this?

love-pro-choice

I didn’t know it could last so long, wtf? Is the bleeding inevitable after birth?

rosietwiggs

Bleeding is inevitable after birth - your uterine wall is shedding a fuck ton of lining. It can last from three to six weeks (possible longer) and it tapers off.

More TMI - I passed a MASSIVE clot after my fourth birth. At this point I already knew this could happen - it’s normal. What I DIDN’T know, was that I had caused it.

My post birth contractions were so bad after the birth that it felt like full transition labor. And they don’t give you anything for the pain. So I used a hot water bottle, without the nurses knowing, and it caused me to bleed even more. I lost so much blood that by the first time they sat me up to go to the bathroom, I fainted. It took three more tries until I could sit up.

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, the next morning I passed a clot the SIZE OF ANOTHER PLACENTA I KID YOU NOT, and I know what is and is not normal. So I called for the nurse and through the door told her I had passed a huge clot, and her response was - “It’s not big. I know what big is.” She hadn’t even looked. So I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, no. It’s big, I’m telling you.”

So, sounding extremely put upon, she asked me to open the door. I did, and after a long pause she goes, “Okay, yeah, that’s a little big.”

YOU DON’T SAY.

The point I’m trying to get across is that this shit is so common - women not knowing this stuff is so expected, and it keeps getting reinforced. People don’t expect you to know anything, don’t teach you anything, and then make you feel like you’re totally ignorant and a burden for your lack of knowledge when THEY WON’T SHARE.

Fucking learn EVERYTHING you can when it comes to childbirth, girls. It is the single most empowering thing you can do for yourself. And if you missed something, that’s okay. But the more knowledge you arm yourself with, the more in control of your situation you’ll be.

A few post partum tips:

DON’T use a hot water bottle - lol.

ONLY pads - NO tampons. Tampons can cause severe infection, not to mention, you probably don’t want to be shoving anything up there any time soon.

If you’ve had stitches, sitz baths DO help relieve the pain. Another great pain reliever? Dampen some pads and freeze them. Let one thaw slightly and use it on top of another pad. This will help with the pain as well as reduce swelling. Change the pad out as soon as it’s thawed completely. This REALLY helps on the first couple days after giving birth.

If you pass a clot, don’t sweat it. Even the one I passed, which was fucking massive, just required that we keep an eye out to make sure it didn’t happen again. If it does, talk to your doctor.

Take a pain killer half an hour before nursing. Because YES - your uterus is contracting after you give birth, to get back to its original size, and nursing causes much stronger contractions. Taking nursing-safe painkillers won’t prevent the pain, but it will reduce it.

Buy disposable underwear for the first few days after birth. They will get VERY dirty. Or use your ratty old pairs that you’re ready to get rid of. Double up on pads - line them all the way up your ass-crack. I am so serious. And wear dark pants.

Pee in the shower. You do NOT want to wipe down there right after birth because ow. Peeing in the shower lets you just rinse afterwards. Especially if you’ve had stitches, peeing in the shower, with the shower-head rinsing AS you go, keeps stinging to a minimum. And fuck everyone else - keep on peeing in the shower until you feel ready to move back to toilet paper. Middle of the night and need to pee? Get your pants off - get in the shower and just go.

This is just a few things, but PLEASE feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions about ANYTHING childbirth/pregnancy/nursing related. I have four incredible kids. I’ve done it all - c-section, vacuume birth, episiotimy, stitches, with an epidural, without an epidural. I’m here.

thehangryslush

….I know I keep reblogging this but people keep adding super important information.

typingsdrawings

I feel like no one tells women this stuff because if a woman was even a little on the fence about having a baby before this would kinda make them run for the damn hills.

kaxen

…..you are correct, typing.

300% EXTRA SURE I’M NOT HAVING BABIES.

petitedeath

peri bottles, witch hazel or anti-pain anticeptic spray are your friends. Also passing large clots after birth is a WARNING SIGN. Bigger than a half dollar is a sign that you have not passed your entire placenta (this is most common in hospital vaginal births where the mother is not allowed to naturally birth the placenta and instead has it ripped out by the doctor) if there is any placenta left in your uterus you can get extremely ill. This happened to both myself and my mother in law

un-ptit-spleen

WOW I didn’t know any of this and I’m terrified of what more I’m unaware of about my own body :( Honestly when will we fucking abolish this taboo about the female body…

artsortment

I had pretty great sex ed in school (lots of contraceptive information, and totally acknowledged that teenagers might have sex) and all of this is news to me.

And, as a 28-year-old person with a uterus, I’m extremely appalled I’m just learning this.

deanplease

Long, but very important information, even for those who don’t plan to have children, because you will almost certainly know someone who will, and you might be able to to help them. Or at least increase your level of empathy for them.

brandx

…HOLY HELL. REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE, SERIOUSLY.

astro-vee

people loooove to make out like pregnancy and childbirth are this beautiful thing that a woman’s body is made to do, and leave out all this incredibly important and scary info.

the healthcare system fails women in so so many ways, especially around sexual and reproductive health, and it needs to stop.

enchantedpineseed

More TMI but no one told me what pregnancy discharge was and it was horrible. Like it’s a greater quantity of liquid coming out of you than on the heaviest day of your period. Sometimes I would stand up and a bunch would just run out of me. I was so scared and unprepared. Also, tampons are a VERY bad idea when your cervix is still dialated.

bigmouthlass

We are, as a culture, *amazingly* reluctant to talk about pregnancy and childbirth and recovery unless there’s a punchline involved.

bitterbadfem-harpy

Friendly reminder to wait at least one hour after you eat or drink to do anything that requires you to bend at the waist after giving birth because you can and will just puke by accident since your cardiac sphincter will probably never be the same

shanastoryteller

in the sixth months after graduating from college, with my very expensive degree from a good college, i ate nothing but bread. i worked at a bakery / cafe / restaurant and got half off one meal per shift but it was still too expensive even then. but at the end of every night we would throw out all the bread loaves that hadn’t sold, which was most of them, every night. we would fill up ten boxes to give away to a shelter and then we could take anything we could carry, and i couldn’t afford a half off deconstructed sandwich, but i could fill the cabinets of my apartment with bread. everyone who worked there was just like me, subsisting on discarded, overpriced bread.

(when the managers’ backs were turned i was taught to leave the trashbags of bread behind the dumpster rather than inside it, because it was locked after everyone left to prevent people from stealing from it. we would say we were going out to stack chairs and instead stack prepackaged salads prepared that morning in the narrow space between wall and dumpster, but that’s not what this is about.)

we were working valentine’s day, a little bit miserable about it, because customers are somehow worse on a holiday about love ,and even if we were single we didn’t want to be here, and most of us had people we’d rather be spending the day with, and the snappish, hardass manager was working that day, and everyone could not wait for the day to be over.

we had a boxes of those bakery tissue sheets around and i was twisting it in my hands and i thought about how the first night my uncle spent with my aunt he had to get up early for work but didn’t want to wake her and the whole thing hadn’t been planned, exactly, so he (a roofer by trade and a golden glove boxer by sport) went into the kitchen and took some paper towels and twisted them between his big, scarred hands until it formed a sweeter shape and when my aunt work up it was to a paper towel rose on her pillow.

so i used a couple sheets of bakery tissue to make a rose and walked up to my coworker who stared at me with a rictus smile and i gave it to her, trying not overthink if it was a weird thing to do. her smile slipped and she asked “you made this?” holding it carefully, like it wasn’t something her two year old son could have made with his pudgy hands, and i shrugged and got more milk from the back.

then another coworker held the steamer too long when frothing milk, not on accident but because he was irritated, so i rolled another rose and tucked it in his apron pocket as i walked by. then it was just one more of us up front and it was nothing, thirty seconds of twisting paper to take the stack of cookies out of her hands and hand her a tissue paper rose, her lined face lifting into a grin as she proudly tucked it into the chest pocket of her shirt and i may as well have been standing in front of the ovens for how hot my face felt.

it was such a silly thing to do, i felt ridiculous, giving away hastily constructed tissue paper roses on valentine’s day, clumsy artful garbage. then one of the servers walked by and noticed and so i made her one too, and then other servers came by, leaning over the glass, and complimenting the flowers with big eyes, and i laughed and made more, still not sure if it was sincere, but even if it wasn’t, i figured making them one and handing it over was better than saying no.

then i went to the back again and the dishwasher yelled out “where”s mine? what about us?” and he was too sweet to ever be anything less than sincere, so someone kept an eye on the door to the manager’s office as i stood in the sweltering kitchen and rolled clumsy tissue paper roses, enough for everyone

and by the time the day ended, everyone had one, everyone wore one, tucked in their shirt or their apron or stuck in their hair or taped to the top of their pen. everyone was a little less miserable, smiling like we were all on in on the joke, although i don’t think any of us knew the punchline

this story doesn’t have a punchline either. i just sometimes think of how much better some crumpled tissue paper made things and think that it can be that easy, sometimes, if we’re sincere and don’t overthink it too much

wholeheartedsuggestions

to myself,

i am trying to love you more

serobellatonin

on God bitch we gon be alright

wholeheartedsuggestions

idk why but this made me feel a lot better

tobbycat

cicada-bones

The Warrior and the Wildfire

Chapter 5: Reunion

Here we go! The big one! Honestly I feel like this chapter might be even more emotional than chapter 65 when they finally get together. I hope you enjoy and are now forgiving me for that last cliffhanger!

(and also disclaimer i do NOT ship jon/sansa, that photo was just the right Vibe™ so please no one come for me)

word count: 5956

Masterlist / Ao3 / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Rowan tensed, the blood in his veins spiking with apprehension. The laughing group was just down the street, only a few blocks away from him. But they were hidden from his sight by a thick blanket of fog.

However, that meant that he was also hidden - so Rowan could take his time.

His senses strained as every sound, sight, and smell from within a quarter mile came streaming into him. He could hear everything, from the drops of fetid rainwater off a nearby gutter, to the whipping of the wind around a sharp corner, the pattering of rats’ paws in the alleyways, the snoring of an old man, warm in his bed, and the giggling of his daughter as she stayed up well past her bedtime, her soft hands rifling through a well-worn book.

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charincharge

I Don’t Want To Wait, thirty

rowaelin high school au masterlist

Based on the prompts:

Learning how to give the perfect blow job (from a podcast)

“Baby”

“Sit down, you’re swaying on your feet”

“I took NyQuil instead of DayQuil by accident, and I’m about to pass out.”

Though Aelin felt bad about Lysandra finding out about her and Rowan via the school gossip machine, she didn’t have time to dwell on them. Because Rowan’s birthday was fast approaching, and it was occupying almost all of Aelin’s brain space. She had absolutely zero idea what to do to commemorate his seventeenth year on earth. It wasn’t as if she had to do anything big; Rowan actively disliked celebrating his birthday. In fact, if Aelin hadn’t insisted that he celebrate every year, he probably wouldn’t. But she couldn’t just get him nothing. This year was different. But it was only two days away, and she was stumped.

Aelin chopped her carrots extra roughly as she let her mind wander to all the things she could possibly get for him, but nothing felt right. She felt utterly and hopelessly distracted as she prepared dinner for her dad.

“Everything okay, Fireheart?” Rhoe asked as he entered the kitchen with a raised brow and picked a rogue piece of carrot from the floor where it’d flown off Aelin’s cutting board. “You and Rowan aren’t already fighting, are you?”

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