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WELCOME TO FAI’S FLOWER SHOP

↳ LAST UPDATED FEBRUARY 2024 m.list .

ABOUT ME ✿

⌗ fai , she/her , sfw, 18,

i currently write for haikyuu , genshin impact and blue lock !! sucker for angst <33

⌗ dni if you are homophobic, racist, sexist, or going to cause any discrimination in general.

[ 🌷 ] thanks for stopping by , come again soon !

xoxojisu

osamu realized that suna was down bad for you very early on in your relationship.

you see, suna was a bit of a fickle guy. an "i do whatever the hell i want" kind of guy. a lot of his actions had no rhyme or reason and he did them based purely on amusement or simply "why not?"

for example, he had a little game he liked to play that osamu had no idea how suna got the idea for. whenever he'd meet unimportant strangers like baristas, cashiers, people on the street, he would completely lie to their faces about everything about himself.

he was not suna rintaro and he did not play volleyball. he'd give them different identities each time with a completely straight face like this was completely normal.

he'd tell the barista that he was in college and currently pledging to a fraternity. he'd tell the sweet old lady in the park that he was a single father of two trying his best. he'd tell the cashier that he was an italian fashion designer in a really oddly perfect accent.

"why d'ya do that?" osamu had asked him once.

"just 'cos," suna had answered nonchalantly, "why not?"

that was the thing about suna. he was hard to pin down.

why did he do this? for fun.

why did he do that? he just felt like it.

he was like a gust of wind; a wave at your feet. he did as he pleased when he pleased.

none of suna's "identities" had a particular pattern. he gave the strangers completely randomized names and incredibly detailed life stories that he would literally come up with on the spot.

one day, his name was akane, and he was studying biology at fukuro uni. he was born in okinawa, hence his dialect.

another, he was hizashi, and he had three beautiful baby girls that he was mighty proud of. they were all young, so they were quite a handful, but his mom was helping out, and he couldn't be more grateful for his family!

the next, he was kaito, and he just moved from his family's rice farm in akita. his family also grew fruit, like pears and apples. he moved to the city to try and fulfill his dream of having an acting career!

seriously, there was no point trying to make sense of him. osamu began to wonder if suna was some sort of social experiment bot put out by the government.

however, at some point, right around when you and suna had started talking, osamu began to notice something. suna's actions usually had one pattern: that there was no pattern. however, he began to notice that one was actually forming.

his identities and stories were still random, but there seemed to be a constant:

you.

even as watari, the aspiring engineer, he had a new girlfriend who's not good with mornings.

even as miyano, the very young grandparent, he had a lovely wife who liked to surprise him with backhugs.

even as tooru, the nice young man who volunteers at the animal shelter, he had a girl he was talking to that had the cutest smile.

every identity, no matter what age, background, career, preference, whatever, included a girl who sounded exactly like you.

it was then that osamu realized.

it didn't matter what form, identity, timeline, or universe suna had randomly picked that day for his own amusement.

he would find you, choose you, and love you in every single one.

notes: i feel like i saw something similar like a few years back but it was BL not 'x reader' and that was what inspired this but i cant find it. i dont know if im crazy and thought that up on my own or if im just stupid but if you see the original or if you're the original, let me know and i will credit you!

shirabusworld

peak

✿ FAI’S BOUQUETS ✿

HYDRANGEA : HAIKYUU M.LIST

BELLFLOWER : BLUE LOCK M.LIST

BELLFLOWER , BLUE LOCK

code : 𖤐 ( headcanons ), ϟ ( angst ), ʚɞ ( fluff ) !!

RINSAGI

love at first play - rinsagi ʚɞ ϟ

↳ and all of a sudden it clicks to rin the night isagi joined

#sbw.blml

HYDRANGEA , HAIKYUU

code : 𖤐 ( headcanons ), ϟ ( angst ), ʚɞ ( fluff ) !!

INARIZAKI

toxic traits - s.rintarou 𖤐

his goal - s.rintarou ʚɞ ϟ

↳ in which suna makes it his goal to win you over

strangers - s.rintarou ϟ

↳ in which suna thinks you two are better off as strangers

empty - s.rintarou ϟ

↳ in which suna hates the empty feeling down in his heart, but if it's for you, he'll act as if it's not there

a little too late - m.osamu ϟ

↳ in which osamu wishes he had a second chance to make you his

instruments they’d play - inarizaki 𖤐

KARASUNO

toxic traits - h.shouyo 𖤐

NEKOMA

brain rot - k.kenma 𖤐

FUKURODANI

toxic traits - a.keiji 𖤐

SHIRATORIZAWA

ABOA JOHSAI

FORGET ME NOTS…

haikyuu as tswift songs 𖤐

haikyuu as tswift songs 2 𖤐

#sbw.hqml

2024 comeback soon >.<

hayakiwa

trust and vows

suna rintarō.

tags: angst. cheating. fem!reader.

notes: i'm sorry but i love making suna the bad guy. also not beta-read.

What is a vow?

The question popped in your head as you stared at your wedding photo. It hung pride and mighty on the wall opposite your bed, so big it had seemed pretentious and self centered when you’d ordered it, but your husband had insisted. He had called it proof of his love and devotion for you. You called it overcompensation and deceit.

If only you hadn’t been so naive, so trusting. If only you had opened your eyes instead of blindly entering the fantasy world Suna had so carefully crafted for you.

“Poor girl. Poor pathetic, stupid girl,” you muttered, words not reaching the ears of the woman frozen in time, living a lie. “You really thought he was perfect, huh?”

And truly, you had. He had once seemed like the most perfect, most idyllic of men. Even months after the wedding, he still played the role of the doting and loving husband. Now, the real face that hid behind the mask plagued your nightmares, kept you up at night. The bitterness of truth wouldn’t leave your mouth, its vile taste made you nauseous just from thinking about it.

And to think that you could still be caught in his webs. If you hadn't decided, in your postnuptial bliss, to plan a getaway trip just because, you would've never found out… It made you want to laugh, a cruel, resentful kind of laugh.

Instead, you cried.

‘What is a vow?’ You asked yourself again, spite rising against the pain. Was it a promise born of love? Was it an ode to fidelity? Wishful thinking? Pretty lies?

Even now, having known for so long what he was doing in the shadows, you still thought about his voice, his face, his smile as he declared your love eternal, and saw a man deeply in love. For just a second or two, until the image of him deeply inside his best friend took over.

His best friend.

He couldn't even find someone better to cheat with. Even fucking your sister would've been a little more shocking, a little more original. But fucking his best friend? That was so cliche and easy.

He hadn't put any effort into his affair and neither, looking back on it, into hiding it. You remembered seeing them in compromising situations before, but they were just so affectionate with each other. They had been friends for so long, way before you came into the picture. It was just the way they were with each other, so how could you try to pull them apart? How could you even think he would see her that way? Were you really so insecure that you didn't think a man and a woman could be friends?

It was obvious now, of course, that he was just manipulating you with those words. Realizing it really put into perspective for just how long he had been seeing her behind your back. He hadn't woken up one day and realized you weren't enough, that he needed more. She had always, always had him for herself, even back when you were just getting to know him. You had just borrowed him for a while, and it was time to give him back.

You stood up, wiped the tears off of your face, and grabbed the crumbled envelope beside you. As you left your apartment and went down the stairs, you realized it was for the best. Divorcing him was for the best. He had been gone for weeks now, and you weren't planning on taking him back.

So, ignoring the weirded out and pity-filled looks the neighbors gave you, you marched to the front desk and dropped the envelope in front of the man behind it.

"Next time the mailman comes, give this to him. To send urgently."

Your voice quavered and your fingers hesitated to let go when he grabbed it, but the old man just gave you a comforting smile.

'It's time to let go', you reassured yourself.

You could only hope Suna had enough compassion to make it easy.

emmyrosee

“So you’re saying you wouldn’t marry Kita-San?”

The blunt phrasing of the question everyone has been dancing around makes your ears heat up and your stomach flip out of embarrassment.

Shinsuke was no idiot, he knew that by waiting on you hand and foot, and kissing you every chance he got and holding you close would start some form of conversation amongst your friends, and now with him out of the room to fetch more of your favorite snacks, you were left to the wolves and their playful judgement of your pda.

And when Suna snickered that you two were like an old married couple, you’d shaken your head and made a comment about needing a “fat rock” on your finger, and thus starting such a conversation.

“Please, Atsumu, I’m afraid the rest of the neighborhood missed what you said,” you hissed, tucking your knees as close to your chest as you could. Atsumu raises his hands in defense before shoving a chocolate chip cookie into his mouth. “Why are you so invested anyways? We’re about to graduate, marriage is about the last thing on my mind, let alone on yours.”

“It’s cause ‘Tsumu wants to marry Kita-san,” Osamu teases, causing the bottle-blonde to choke on his cookie. “He just wants ta steal him from ya.”

“Oh, and like ya wouldn’t marry him!” Atsumu accuses, cheeks slimming back down after he swallows the rest of his snack. “I see the way yer’ always lookin’ at him and the extra snacks he packs!”

“I openly admit that if I was asked, I would marry Kita-San,” Osamu confesses, making you giggle. “Hell, he’s Mr. Perfect for a reason. But no one is more whipped for him than Suna-“

“Oh, you leave me out of this,” Rintaro snaps. “One time. ONE time I tell our captain he’s handsome and I never hear the end of it.”

“Oh, it wasn’t once,” Ginjima pipes from his homework.

“He is handsome,” Atsumu quips.

“He’s extremely handsome, but that’s not the point!”

“You’re all sounding very suspicious right about now,” you chime back in, somehow finding comfort in the fact that all of your friends not only agree with you, but even admit to thinking Kita Shinsuke is the perfect man. “Do I have some competition I need to worry about?”

“There is no need,” a sudden voice answers, and the four of you tense up immediately as the man of the discussion returns with a plate of crackers. He sits next to you nonchalantly before bringing one of the salty snacks to your lips, smirking slightly at your shy embarrassment.

“And I’ll have you all know that, when I do get married, I know of only one person I expect to be waiting at the alter.”

You smile softly and lean your head down onto his shoulder, sighing contentedly at the peck he places on your head.

“What’re you grinning about?” Suna snickers. “He means Aran.”

“He does not-“

“I actually do,” Kita assures.

“Aran?!” You ask, voice pitched in annoyed surprise. “What are you talking about- I thought you meant me!”

“We have a pact,” he calmly explains. “Until we officially tie the knot, him and I are expected to wed each other.”

This, naturally, has the entire room collapsing in a fit of cackles, Atsumu flopping onto his back while Ginjima hides the chortles in the collar of his hoodie. Suna rolls his eyes and smirks before grabbing one of the crackers from the plate.

You sigh and roll your eyes before you smile up at him, resting your head lovingly against him. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to get on that before he does.”

He hums, but in his eyes there’s a flicker of excitement. “Perhaps you do.”

satorqn

an: angst? fluff? self indulgent i am sorry i am v sad rn

suna is strong. you know it. he knows it. everyone knows it. he benches 220 daily, can squat double your weight like its nothing and don’t even get him started on his deadlifts. he can make his grocery run from the car to the fridge in one go, comically lifts large pieces of furniture to dust underneath it and is your go-to jar opener.

suna can do it all … except break you. it’s all he wants to do, actually, because you’re his strongest opponent. suna wants to squeeze you until you absolutely shatter in his grasp. he wants to hug you so tightly to him that you fall apart into a million pieces. because that’s the only way he can catch a glimpse of what goes on inside.

suna is strong. you are strong. but suna is stronger.

shirabusworld

really needed this comfort for real.

#sbw.recs

akimind

untitled.

a/n: wrote this bc i saw @sunasbabie asking for suna angst on my dash and it must’ve triggered something so thanks for getting me out of writer’s block ;v; this is one of the fastest things i’ve written idk what happened. too excited to angst suna ig

content: angst

word count: 2.1k+

[ suna x reader ]

–––––

You watch as Suna packs his guitar back into its case, feeling as if he’s not looking at you on purpose, like he’s taking longer than you know it takes to close the zipper and shut the clasps on either side. You ask him the same thing you’ve been asking of yourself for longer than he’ll ever know, longer than you could ever admit.

“How could you not tell me?”

Keep reading

shirabusworld

#sbw.recs

HAIKYUU AS T-SWIFT SONGS (2)

synopsis , haikyuu boys in relationships represented through taylor swift songs . angst & fluff !

characters can/will be shown in multiple throughout this series . part one

a/n : part two is now here!! since these will typically be long i’ll probably just do two each.

“ALL I CAN SAY IS, I WAS ENCHANTED TO MEET YOU” — SUGAWARA, DAICHI, kita, and shoyo in enchanted

before we start i would like to say i really like the chorus of this song hehe. anyways, enchanted is most definitely SUGAWARA’S song. he’s the first person that comes to mind when i think of this song. when you first met sugawara, he’s a bit shy but he’s very genuine and kind. his aura is alluring and his positive comments are always cheering those around him up (including you). he’s actually really easy to fall for.. and right away you asked around if he was single. and to your surprise, he was?? ‘literally how? he’s an angel’ is what you thought. becoming deeply infatuated with the young man is a struggle because sugawara is just that enchanting. he’s got you completely hooked on him without even trying to. but unfortunately.. there doesn’t seem like there’s a chance with him. all you can do is pray and hope that there’s not someone else. now DAICHI… you definitely do not see how enchanting this man can be until you really pay close attention. daichi always acknowledges the little things and details, which for some reason made your heart skipped a beat despite being long time friends with him. as you begin to notice these details of daichi, your feelings start to grow. daichi fits this song as he’s a respectable man but also only seems to focus on his self and career, so it seems that you’ll just have to put your feelings aside and just be friends. but that’s alright! you’re happy that out of everyone on the earth, daichi is the one you fell in love with. KITA is somewhat of a different situation. this is because kita tends to not show any emotion. but besides that, you still fall for the silent leader. just like daichi, kita is a respectable man and always notices the little things around him. whenever you’re alone with kita, you feel like you stepped into another dimension. kita is a very intriguing, at least to you he is. even if kita were to coldly reject you, you have a feeling you wouldn’t be upset. after all, what are the chances that you get to cross paths with a man like him? up next is SHOYO! shoyo has a very unique personality which is why he made it into todays cut. he’s actually pretty admiring despite his recklessness. he always strives to better, which inspires you to be better too. you swear you’ve never met someone like him before, and you probably never will again. there’s only one hinata shoyo, and you get to meet him. your interactions with shoyo is definitely something you will never forget as he unintentionally impacts the lives of others for the better.

“IF YOU COULD SEE THAT IM THE ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS YOU” — KUROO, BOKUTO, AKAASHI, atsumu, and tsukishima in you belong with me

YOU BELONG WITH ME!! bokuto would most definitely scream this outside of your front porch. atsumu would be too embarrassed too but do it anyways because of peer pressure. kuroo wouldn’t do it because he thinks it’s uncool (he ended up screaming it later). akaashi doesn’t scream it, but he does say it to you in lowercase letters. tsukishima doesn’t say it at all because he’s much, much more embarrassed too and would rather die (you convince him too later). first, we have KUROO. now, roles are reversed here, so the boys are the ones telling you to escape that trash relationship of yours. kuroo was super supportive of your relationship, even though he did hold romantic feelings towards you. he told himself he wouldn’t interfere though, at least that was the case until he found out what a shitty boyfriend you have. kuroo at first tries to bring it up slowly. he doesn’t want to suddenly start an argument with you, but it’s hard when you try to convince him he isn’t that bad when in reality, he’s the shittiest bf ever. and so, this leads kuroo to just bluntly telling you everything he knows (with evidence) and now comforts you because you truly did like that awful bf (soon ex) of yours. now, kuroo doesn’t tell you about his feelings right away. that’s because his feelings aren’t relevant or important right now. he wouldn’t want to take advantage of your vulnerability and as your friend, he’s going to support you in the best way as possible by putting his own feelings aside. kuroo won’t make any moves, at least not until a long time. but after watching how kuroo’s always been there for you, you’ll probably start to realize you were meant to be with him. if/when BOKUTO finds out about this awful boyfriend of yours, he wouldn’t dive in and sweep you away so quickly (although he would love that idea). bokuto can be rational, sometimes. not to mention he has akaashi helping him! bokuto doesn’t bring it up immediately, but he does try to hint it at you by randomly saying stuff like “wow, did you see that yui’s boyfriend got her flowers? i heard that he does it every week.” because unfortunately your bf doesn’t even bother gifting you anything. while this can hurt your feelings in the process, bokuto brings flowers for you the next day to show you that he can treat you much better. and honestly, one day bokuto might just break out and scream “DUMP THAT BOYFRIEND OF YOURS AND DATE ME INSTEAD!!!” out of frustration. of course this will catch you completely off guard, but it’s so sweet it’s hilarious. do you reject him? you’d be crazy if you did. besides, you had already broken up with your ex yesterday, but it seems that the spiker didn’t know. AKAASHI probably tries to bring up the topic peacefully, but if you keep denying it he’ll eventually become frustrated and just tell you face to face. he’s completely blunt about it, and he has to be. he believes that you should break it off as soon as possible. and if it’s necessary, he’ll probably give you a list onto why he’d be a better boyfriend. this includes not the bare minimum because you should already know your worth, but things he knows you’d appreciate. this song is akaashi’s fight song, and i am all here for it. ATSUMU is the type who just says it straight to you. “break up with your boyfriend, i can treat you much better. can’t you see that?” he’s kinda mean about it at first, but not on purpose. he just really wants you to see how bad of a person your current bf is. TSUKISHIMA is also the same, except i feel like he’d be more self aware and tell you to know you’re own worth.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #sugawara x reader #daichi x reader #kuroo x reader #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #kita x reader #shoyo x reader #hinata x reader #atsumu x reader #tsukishima x reader #sugawara fluff #🧸sbw.fluff #🫖sbw.angst

HAIKYUU AS T-SWIFT SONGS

synopsis , haikyuu boys in relationships represented through taylor swift songs . angst & fluff !

characters can/will be shown in multiple throughout this series . part two

a/n , i do not identify as a swiftie i just listen to her music time to time. don’t take these to heart if it seems like im making them sound like a shitty bf/crush i just really like angst lol. my comeback post !?!

“I GUESS YOU DIDNT CARE, AND I GUESS I LIKED THAT” — SUNA, oikawa, iwazumi, kageyama, tsukishima, KUNIMI, kenma, and ushijima in i knew you were trouble

many of these characters are on the more nonchalant side. take SUNA for example. you fell for him because he was pretty cool. the type to stroll around the halls not giving a damn about the eyes attached to him. he didn’t really give a crap, really. sure, he was a total dork on the inside, but did the public really know about that like you did? besides, it was pretty accurate anyways. suna would act like he didn’t care, and sometimes it got to you a little too well. OIKAWA on the other hand, does care. it’s just that his flirty, charming nature makes it seem like he doesn’t. IWAZUMI is the type to act like nothing gets to him. he also tends to push aside any issues in your relationship that may seem minor to him. so it’s a struggle from time to time to help him realize that it isn’t just a minor problem.. KAGEYAMA just doesn’t know how to communicate well, so it seems like he doesn’t care. but in reality he’s panicking on how he should express his concern and emotions. TSUKISHIMA is somewhat a mix of both suna & iwazumi. he’s a dork but he acts like nothing gets to him at all. he tends to avoid conflict in the relationship and acts much colder than he intends to be. KUNIMI can just be plain lazy in the relationship. he says he doesn’t care? he means that. otherwise, why would he say it? sometimes you wishes kunimi did care. besides, whenever he says he does, he doesn’t act like it. it begins to strain the relationship with how little effort he puts into it. KENMA isn’t exactly the same, he’s quite similar to kageyama. he just doesn’t know how to properly convey his feelings so it looks like he doesn’t care as much. USHIJIMA though.. because of his stoic and blunt like personality, you may misinterpret the meaning towards his words. oh, he doesn’t seem interested.. is a thought you may have, but don’t worry! ushijima most definitely does care and is interested in you. he’s just got a resting blank face.

“SWEAR TO BE OVERDRAMATIC AND TRUE TO MY LOVER” — ATSUMU, sugawara, yachi, aran, TANAKA, LEV, in lover

now, this is my honest personal opinion, but ATSUMU is such a lovers boy. LOVERRRRRR!! got me thinking of him 24/7. atsumu is most definitely the type to go around & brag about you everywhere at anytime of day but secretly get jealous when others want you. atsumu does not get jealous easily, but when he does by chance he doesn’t like to express it. it’s cute seeing him get pouty and all though, atsumu is the #1 lover boy and i stand by that. even when he’s busy with volleyball he’ll try his best to send you a quick text or squeeze in a hug before you leave. and when he can’t, he beats himself up about it. you know how atsumu can get, so instead of scolding him for not texting you back, you scold him for not taking better care of himself and over worrying. again, what i’m trying to say is atsumu is absolutely whipped. now, SUGAWARA is also a lover boy, but in a more gentle, introverted way. he’s the type to get shy on your dates even if it’s the fifty sixth one. he’s probably always carrying bouquet of flowers just for you, his lover! sugawara is very considerate and caring, how could i not include him ( not that the other characters aren’t but this is sugawara we’re talking about ). i can see him and his lover dancing in the rain singing to this song. next is YACHI. similar to sugawara, her being a lover girl is more soft. yachi’s very shy, which makes her all the more fun to tease! she’s the type to make gifts for her lover, and when she hands you the gift she’ll be as bright as the sun. she’s probably listening to the song on the radio while working on a card she plans to gift to you at school. ARAN is also a lover’s boy. he may seem tough on the outside, but he’s very shy about his romance life. he’s the type to go to kita and over stress the tiniest of things. which flowers do i give her? what if my chocolates give her food poisoning? but not to fear, aran is able to quickly pick himself up and continue seeing you as if he didn’t just spend the last ten minutes panicking. a true lover boy at heart after atsumu. he loves to show you off in secret and send them to kita. TANAKA is pretty self explanatory. similar to atsumu, he loves showing you off, except tanaka gets jealous easier and faster than him. he’s also very overprotective of you, he can’t help it! he genuinely cares and worries about you, and is always by your side. lastly, we got LEV. lev is also the type to brag about you, but he does it without even noticing. he talks about you, A LOT. and when i say a lot i genuinely mean a lot a lot. also, don’t worry about finding a seat wherever because he’s always saving one for you. lev is incredibly sweet. sure, he may get a bit ahead with his ego, but it’s apart of his charm ( although it doesn’t work on nekoma ). lev never forgets important dates between the two of you, and he’s always ten minutes early despite being a bit clumsy. he’s always checking up on you too! what a great lover.

pachimation

*fantasizes abt chiscara playing in the snow* *fantasizes abt chiscara playing in the snow* *fantasizes abt chiscara—

venushotline

HE’S A 10 BUT,, he’s overseas

boyfriend! itoshi sae hc’s

— gn! reader, established relationship, teeth-rotting fluff

(a note from dia!): i’ve had this in the drafts for so long but i never got around to posting this ‘cause i went thru like 15 different writing blog phases & they’re all no longer here so,,, i do plan to publish my other hc’s of the other boys too 🤞

( 糸師冴, Itoshi Sae )

as an international football player, sae is more often than not traveling to various countries! to uhhh kick around a ball and y’know all that fun stuff 😁👍

but regardless of how happy you are for him achieving goals in his dream career— this means that he has very little time to come back home in his sparse free time (not that he wants to anyways)

facetime = carrying ur guys’ entire relationship fr

tries to ft you as often as he could but with his busy schedule, you guys usually only ft while he’s getting ready to sleep

sae’s so shameless about screenshotting pictures of you so no matter what mundane thing you’re doing in the background while you’re fting him

you just constantly see the notif banner pop up on your end that “sae <3” took a facetime photo

“did you just take a picture of me cooking ramen? 😐”

“yeah, what are you gonna do about it? come take my phone to delete it?” he’s such a little shit

he has an entire album dedicated to just these ft screenshots <3 ‘cause he’s secretly sappy like that but also to use against you so it’s a win-lose situation

to make your long distance relationship more entertaining, you both do those interactive netflix movie nights or game nights often too! skribbl.io is a reoccurring one for game nights

fair warning: sae is absolutely shit at drawing, he said so himself that he doesn’t know how to do anything else EXCEPT play football??

“sae, what are you even trying to draw?” you queried your boyfriend, in an attempt to receive hints to gauge out the shaky pixelated lines on your screen.

peeking at your phone, which was propped up against your laptop, it became difficult to choke back the laughter bubbling at the back of your throat as you took notice of the infamous red-haired football player’s concentrated expression on his face.

hieori

u said sae’s got some shit boyfriend potential….. do u maybe have any specific hc in mind 👀

Teenage Sae pulls all the generic shitty boyfriend stops. He doesn't reply to your texts and tells you that you're overreacting when something upsets you. He forgets your birthday and the plans you make together when he's home and occasionally, you'll see that he's liked an influencer's pictures on Instagram. But you deal with it because you're young and naive and you think you love him. You mature at a faster rate than he does and you quickly understand that it's not okay. None of what he's doing is okay. You try to talk to him about it and he leaves you on read for a few weeks after. The only double-text you send him is to let him know that you don't want to do this anymore. You haven't spoken to each other since.

He gets older. He thinks about you a lot more than he'd ever want to admit. He still follows you even though you've long since unfollowed him. He hates that his desire for you continues to grow with every post and he hates that he's not the one behind the smile on your face. He wonders if you think about him too when he likes your pictures ─ he wonders if you check on his page as much as he checks up on you. He replies to your stories from time to time and he tells you that you're pretty as often as he can. It makes you want to cry so you never reply. He hadn't realized how serious you had been when you broke up w him until he came home a few weeks after and you didn't come see him. He's not the type to get nervous but he had a feeling you wouldn't want him to go see you either. But he's older now. He's much older. He knows what went wrong and he knows how to prevent it from ever happening again. He hasn't dated anyone since you broke up w him. A sick part of him hopes you haven't moved on either. He sees you on a night out when he comes back from Spain. You're even prettier than before ─ you're even prettier in person. You stare at each other in the aisle of the small convenience store ─ the one between the two of your neighborhoods. A part of him thinks he should apologize. The other part of him thinks you'd want him to leave you alone. You smile at him softly and he hates how sad it looks ─ how full of sorrow it feels. Like you've forgiven him for all that he'd put you through. Like you're sorry you had to deal with it in the first place. You say hi and your grip tightens on the ice cream you'd stopped for, walking past him as you head to the register. He follows behind you, wordlessly paying for you. If he let you go now, he knows he'd never see you again. If he let you walk away, he'd never get another chance. He has a lot to apologize for ─ he has a lot to say. He tells you he wants to talk and he asks you if that would be okay. You look at him hesitantly before you nod slowly, following after him. The two of you walk over to the park you used to frequent and he feels nervous for the first time in a long, long time. You were pretty under the fluorescent lights of the konbini but you were heartbreaking under the moon and he's having a hard time getting the words to come out. But you sit with him in the quiet and you wait. You sit and you wait. He lays his pinky on yours as the past unfolds behind you and he tries to shape your future as best as he can.