Shit Nerd Couple Says

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🎶Old McDonald he could fuck, I am gods mistake!🎶

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“I know we’re not hungry but... are we sure?”

Nerd Boyfriend as we wander past more and more delicious smelling food.

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Lin Manuel Mirandas is our shit

We’ve gone to see Hamilton on Nerd Boyfriend’s birthday, and we finally get out during intermission.

Nerd Girlfriend: Man, I forgot how the tracks split during the show, I kept thinking, oh the intermission is after Yorktown; oh right so it ends after Dear Theodosia.

Nerd Boyfriend: But hey, psst, hey, psst hey... what about Nonstop though?

Nerd Couple Together: WHAT ABOUT NONSTOP THO?

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Oh my god, you can't just ask people why they YEET.

Nerd Boyfriend Telling Nerd Girlfriend about some news.

Nerd Girlfriend: Yeet.

Nerd Boyfriend: ...What?

Nerd Girlfriend laughs.

Nerd Boyfriend: Did you just say "yeet?"

Nerd Girlfriend: Yeah, I did.

Nerd Boyfriend: Babe...

Nerd Girlfriend: I'm sorry! I hang out with college kids!

Nerd Boyfriend: But babe, you can't just use yeet like that... you can't just YEET the word yeet into the conversation like that.

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What’s that other “ey” word?

Nerd Boyfriend: So what you have a matinee and then a Chardonnay?

Nerd Girlfriend: YES

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La Cosa Nabisco

Nerd Girlfriend: Oh look Wayfair sent me coupons.

Nerd Boyfriend: Huh?

Nerd Girlfriend: The place I got my bed, they sent me a catalog.

Nerd Boyfriend: OH! I thought you said "wafer", so I was like "You mean Nilla?"

Nerd Girlfriend: Yes, of the Nabisco Crime Family.

*both of us lose it*

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They have tea? Yeah, well right now I’m the Boston fucking Tea Party, bitch!

Nerd Girlfriend, responding to news that someone had tea to spill, after having what can be diplomatically understated as “a day”.

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Destiny’s Child baking

*Nerd Couple dancing sillily in the kitchen before having to get ready to go for a show*

Nerd Boyfriend: 🎶I’mma get ready for this jelly; imma get ready for this jelly...🎶

Nerd Girlfriend: So it’s a fruit pie?

Nerd Boyfriend: Huh?

Nerd Girlfriend: Jelly, so it’s a fruit pie not a cream pie... oh god no

Nerd Boyfriend: *losing it*

Nerd Girlfriend: No, because the cookbook is separated into fruit, cream and chocolate... oh god I should shut up now.

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Nerd Boyfriend: *sticks butt out at Nerd Girlfriend*

Nerd Girlfriend: ....?

Nerd Boyfriend: I wanna be a little spoon!!!

Nerd Girlfriend: Okay well use your WORDS!

Nerd Boyfriend: No I used my butt

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Nerd Boyfriend: hey babe do you wanna just watch and eat all the things today?

Nerd Girlfriend: fuck.... that’s so fuckin hot babe

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Thats it, thats our relationship.

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Nerd Boyfriend: Ugh work was crazy I wrote like 6 proposal letters today!

Nerd Girlfriend: wow and none for me.... 😐

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Came across this salt kit while browsing weapons at our local Renaissance Faire

Nerd Girlfriend: Hey you could a-salt someone with that!

Nerd Boyfriend: I don't know that sounds kinda grating

And then we high fived

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Nerd Girlfriend: I love you more than bread

Nerd Boyfriend: Let's not say things we don't mean love

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Nerd Boyfriend: And now I'm drinking a cosmopolitan. It's so pretty and the guy who made it was very generous with the vodka. It looked too aesthetic

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*sirens in the background of phone conversation*

Nerd Boyfriend: Oh god they're after you.

Nerd Girlfriend: They found me.

Nerd Boyfriend: Alright. Well, I love you.

Nerd Girlfriend: WOW you're just going to leave it at that? Let them arrest me and just say bye I love you??

Nerd Boyfriend: Oh come on, you know I'd bust you out with your old .45, like a waitress from Rowena.

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Obscure

Nerd Boyfriend: It's probably some of the most obscure literature I know-

Nerd Girlfriend: The Bible?

Nerd Boyfriend: I said obscure not irrelevant