YOU ARE THE REASON
Jules of Nature
ojovivo
untitled
EXPECTATIONS
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Not today Justin
shark vs the universe
tannertan36
hello vonnie
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
#extradirty
if i look back, i am lost
we're not kids anymore.
trying on a metaphor
No title available
𓃗
occasionally subtle
todays bird
taylor price
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Nepal
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Colombia
@shivrane
"The Jetski Accident"
a cocktail recipe
(In the style of a Long Island Ice Tea)
.5 oz simple
.5 oz lemon juice
.5 oz triple sec
1 oz Fireball
1 oz Jagermeister
1 oz Midori
1 oz Malibu
Splash of cola
Stir. Serve in highball with an Everclear float and a lit cocktail umbrella.
I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account
It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"
Bathing my balls in Gold Bond is the only way I'm making it out of this summer alive
The biggest fault in playing magic the gathering online is not being able to physically strangle your opponents. When the fuck did everyone else get the fucking Turbo Steroid Decks starting every game with some fuckass zero cost card going "if you have seven cards in your hand rn you win immediately no matter what" that summons a 12/13 Fuckzilla with vigilance and deathtouch. Like oh wow wowwee congratulations fuck you. I wonder if your mother is self-aware enough to regret having children.
I think my deepest problems as a person stem from the fact that instead of an inner child, I have an inner One Of These Fucking Things
Like that's what the core of my soul looks like. It's just one of those ugly little fucklings.
oh siddhartha gautama, called Buddha, we're really in it now
Isopod
British Library, Harley MS 3244, c. 1236-1250, folio 64r
Does God sending rainbows after he fucks our shit up ever feel like an abusive boyfriend bringing flowers after beating your ass to anyone else
Pretty gesture, promises, but next week he'll flood our shit and there'll be another bouquet
And in the end, it's just a bit of a threat too. Like, "You better be thankful and accept my apology. I went out of my way for these flowers. And... like... I coulda done way worse. Like I used to... so. You know."
Wednesday the 15th. What an excellent day. Middle of the week, middle of the month. Truly, we are in the middle of things.
6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.
this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare
If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables
im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams
Happy pride month to the bisexuals
Friday?
My soldiers call it Dieday, because Saturday is payday and I gotta thin the book if we're gonna stay in the green.
