Lack Of Support ~ Bang Chan
The atmosphere was still tense as you walked back through the front door, immediately feeling Chanās eyes staring across at you. You had hoped with a bit of time the two of you would be able to cool yourselves down, but the frosty atmosphere that seemed to surround you both quickly let you know that that wasnāt to be the case.
It had been a couple of hours since youād left the house, hoping that it would prevent an argument between the two of you, but it had instead created a tension that you hadnāt expected.
For some time, Chan had noticed that you had been closing off from him, you came home from work without a smile on your face. However, when Chan challenged you about it, you refused to talk, assuring him that you were fine.
āDo you want to talk?ā Chan questioned as you walked through into the living room, sat in the exact position that he was when you had excused yourself not too long ago.
As your eyes met his, you could see that he was struggling, mainly not to scream at you for closing off for him for so long. āItās really no big deal, Chan, letās just sleep on things and hopefully tomorrow will be a bit better.ā
You tried to walk away, but Chan remained firm and sat down on the sofa. Although you were willing to attempt to drop things, he wasnāt quite so keen, he wanted to know what was going on so that he could help you.
āYouāre always there for me.ā
āSo, let me be there for you,ā he requested.
Chan tapped the empty space beside him on the sofa, which you reluctantly walked over to. The conversation wasnāt something that you wanted to continue, you were happy dealing with things on your own and carrying on trying to find the answers alone like you always had done too.
āYou canāt stay closed off forever,ā Chan quickly reminded you, āwalking out of the door doesnāt just make things go away, thatās not how things work Y/N, we have to talk about these things.ā
āItās my problem, and Iāll deal with it,ā you tried to argue, but Chanās head shook back across at you. āYou donāt need to worry about meaningless things for me when youāve got so many other things to worry about, especially with your schedule so busy.ā
Chan knew that you closed off because you were concerned for him, but he knew himself too, and could tell that he had it within himself to worry about not just the group, but you as well, which was why he was sat beside you.
Your body was tense beside him, not quite sure how to react to what was going on, the last thing that Chan wanted to do was overwhelm you, but he was desperate to make sure that you knew he wasnāt going anywhere.
āHave you ever heard the saying that a problem shared is a problem halved?ā Chan questioned, smiling weakly as your head nodded back at him. āDonāt you think that the same could apply to you if you shared your troubles?ā
Your shoulders could only shrug back at him as you struggled to make up your mind. The advice of others was sometimes something you craved, but the idea of being a burden to someone else just kept holding you back.
āItās hard,ā you whispered, biting down on your bottom lip to try and stop yourself from getting upset, refusing to let Chan see just how hard things had gotten for you too.
But he had already seen, several times too. He had watched you come home and force the smile onto your face, he had told you about his day when you asked how it was so that he couldnāt get in and ask about yours first.
His head nodded understandingly, shuffling a little bit closer to your side. āYou can talk to me Y/N, I will tell you that again and again until you finally decide to listen to me.ā
āIāve never really had someone so keen to care for me as much as you before,ā you slowly began to confide in him, āIām used to dealing with everything alone, I was always told that my problems are my things to deal with.ā
Chanās head shook back at you, determined to change your mindset. He didnāt want to see you suffer alone, even if that was the way you were used to handling things before.
The change that you found now that you had Chan was tough, at times it stunned you to have someone beside you so willing to help you out.
āYouāre always there for me, whenever I have a problem, I know that youāll be there for me, and so I want to be there for you too,ā he assured, moving his hand up to rest against your shoulder, āI donāt want you to feel alone when you do such a good job of making me not feel alone.ā
Your advice had carried Chan through some of his toughest times, somehow always managing to find the right thing to say. Others had their opinions, but none of them mattered more to Chan than yours.
āMy problem really is no big deal though,ā you tried to assure him with a weak smile.
Chanās shoulders shrugged, not caring how big or small your problems were. āI still want to know whatās going on, and I still want to be able to help you out, big or small you shouldnāt go through a hardship alone.ā
āReally?ā You questioned, struggling to believe that someone was so willing to be by your side, āare you sure there arenāt more important things that you should worry about.ā
Once again, Chanās head shook, continuing to refuse to budge on his stance. āI told you that Iām here for you, nothing else is going to change that, no matter what else is going on with me, or with the group either.ā
āI donāt even remember what got me so worked up at work today,ā you chuckled.
āTell me what you remember.ā
āThatās the thing, I got too angry over too many things that they all just collated together.ā
As far as Chan was concerned, he had all night to sit and be there for you. He had plenty of time to make up for when you had closed yourself off from him to finally be able to take the chance to listen and offer you support like you had always done for him.
āWhatever is going on, or has gone on, tell me,ā Chan asked of you, moving his hand to hold onto yours, āthat way I can remember whatās going on now for the future when you might need my help then too.ā
Your head nodded, as the corners of your mouth slowly began to turn up, āyou might want to go and get a pad of paper and a pen if Iām honest with you.ā
āHas it really been that bad?ā Chan asked with a gasp, shaking his head in disapproval.
āTough,ā you simply stated as Chan shifted so that he was facing you properly, āthereās been a lot going on, I donāt think Iāve had a moment to breathe recently.ā
āYou do now, now that youāre with me.ā
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