I don't Kiss and Tell

Indie Multi-ship, Multi-verse & Semi-Selective ROBERT SMALL from Dream Daddy Penned by Tipsy Please do read Rules and Bio before interacting

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pluviatempestas:

{ ♪ } – “I can’t say that I’ve watched a man burn, no.”

   Perhaps she wasn’t as caught off guard as he’d hoped. While she did look over in surprise, she just pursed her lips and tilted her head.

     “I can’t imagine that it would be a pleasant experience, though. I don’t think that burning flesh smells all that great. If put in that situation, I’d probably have to duck out pretty early on.”

Oh? Someone who was willing to play along? Now that makes for a fun conversation. Despite his amusement, Robert schooled his features into a sombre expression, pausing to knock back another shot before he continued. 

“Yeah you don’t want to see it.” The man confirmed her words. “The smell’s horrible- clings to your clothes and skin like a stubborn stain that you can’t wash off. But what’s even worse are the screams. The smell fades in time but the screams? You never forget the screams. The way they are reduced to nothing but a charred and disfigured mess. Gone- like their hopes and dreams.”

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newestdadontheblock:

“No; if I’m already drunk enough I tend to just, like, skip the small talk and just sit in their lap,” he smirked, mirroring the raised eyebrow.

“Well, like, I wanna say whiskey, but I’m not sure how ready this little town is for, like, post-whiskey Julian. Though if you’re offering to buy I’m not gonna say no.”

His statements earned him an approving nod from Robert, lips curving up to reveal a sliver of teeth. Robert beckons Neil over to order more whiskey shots. The man deftly slides one across the counter, motioning for his companion to go ahead and drink.  “The kind of attitude I can get behind. And if the town can handle post-whiskey Robert and Mary, I’m sure they can take you on just fine.” Another amused snort. Gesturing to aforementioned woman who was currently preoccupied for her ‘catch of the night’. “She hit on you yet?”

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fellvaguely:

            “   i understand that this is frightfully implicating .   “   yellow ,   serpentine eyes gleaning ,   the film of fresh blood that stains his dress shirt looks black under the pale moonlight .   implicating is an understatement ,   with one corpse and a rather conspicuous pile of ashes that may have at one point resembled something human at his feet  .   “   but i’ve had a long night .   if you’d turn and go your merry way ,   it’d be much appreciated .   “

@shotsofregret

For all his quick-wittiness and glib tongue, Robert finds himself at a loss for words over the scene he is currently being greeted with. Eyes, wide with surprise, darted back and forth from the corpse and the blinding yellow of the other’s eyes. The first coherent thing he finally uttered came out more irritable with himself than anything else.  “What the hell? Are you shitting me? All along-” A hand comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I spent so fucking long looking for cryptids only to find one right in front of me. My neighbour of all people I- How many of you are here in Maple Bay?! And why the hell are you doing-” He gestured to the body with a grimace, something sickening coiling in the pits of his stomach. “All of that so close to my backyard?”

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pluviatempestas:

@shotsofregret from (x)

{ ♪ } – She snickered, shrugging her shoulders. His invitation was met with a smile and she slowly sat next to him. Murmuring a thanks to Neil, she took the shot glass in her hand and grinned at him.

     “Right you are. It’s a matter of knowing exactly how drunk you should get to have fun.”

   Perhaps she was having a bad day, as she wasn’t usually the type to get smashed. Regardless, she took a second to down the shot, offering him a grin. 

     “Bella, by the way. Can I ask your name?”

"An art form few have managed to perfect.” Lips twist into a wry smile. “You either die with the taste of pickle juice in your mouth or live long enough to set fire to your breathe.”  Following in her steps, he’s quick to knock back his second shot, allowing the heat to settle in his bones. “Robert.” An acknowledging nod is given to her. He takes a moment to study her features and finds that he hasn’t seen her around before. A brow is lifted.  “So. What’s the story, bella? You passing through or looking to initiate yourself into the secretive habits of Maple Bay’s citizens?”

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|newestdadontheblock|

@newestdadontheblock liked for a starter:

"They said never to bring a knife to a gun fight- but they haven’t seen my knife just yet.” The remark was made with dry amusement as he slides said weapon back into his pockets. A brow is raised as Robert gave his companion a once over, checking to see if the other sustained any injuries from being unwittingly trapped by a parking lot scuffle between two adamant old cronies. Honestly- the things people would do for parking spaces.  "You alright? Bit of a shame if you were to get yourself done in here. Waffles aren’t what they used to be.”

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|grillforgod|

@grillforgod liked for a starter: 

Had he known that people weren’t going to arrive to their little gathering until much later and that Mary, who had coincidentally been the one to convince him to come offer moral support and relief from having to play pretend niceties, wasn’t around just yet- Robert probably would have turned and went back home. But as with all things in his life, it turns out that nothing good ever happens. 

So he finds himself here, staring at the face of the very person he had been trying his best to avoid being alone with. Whatever. He’s going to make this quick and mercifully short.  “Where’s Mary?” 

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|margaritaxz0ne|

@margaritaxz0ne liked for a starter: 

Given the fact that he avoids their house like the plague unless absolutely necessary (in which mostly means getting shit faced drunk with Mary and being convinced into making the shittiest promises),  to say that Robert was uncomfortable standing outside the door to the other’s house would be to state a severe understatement.  Still, the man steeled himself and knocks rapidly against it, hoping to get the whole ordeal over and done with. It’s not everyday you open the door to let your dog out and spot a baby on the porch by themselves.  Someone needs to watch Crish better and that someone is most definitely not going to be him. 

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|amightyfinebartender|

@amightyfinebartender liked for a starter: 

Perhaps it was both a blessing and bad luck that Robert’s line of work occasionally requires him to travel out of Maple Bay. On good days, it was fuel to his adventurous side- allowing him the opportunity to explore and find more thinking spots attempt to hunt cryptids. On bad ones, it just reinforces how truly alone and pathetic he was.  Now as it stands, he has yet to decide whether or not it’s a good or bad day. What he does know very well though, are the lights and environments of bars. After all, he’d spent much of his time in them. Pushing the door open, he spares little glance to his surroundings, choosing to make a beeline towards the bar. “Whiskey.” A beat later. “...Thanks.” He might have had a shit day but he wasn’t about to fuck up someone else’s just because of that.

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@sailorguppy​:

The tiny Christiansen looks up to the adult with confused eyes and slaps his hand on the floor, the infant version of a shrug. Uncle Bobert is very close to him and this makes him very happy for he loves Uncle Bobert with all his heart. He smiles a 3 toothed grin and screams in delight, reaching out to touch Uncle Bobert’s face.

“Dabbert!”

"Hello to you too, little man.” The sides of his eyes crinkled when Robert leans closer, allowing the infant to touch him, tiny hands warm against his cheeks. “Look at you- so spirited even at this age. You’ll make a fine explorer one day, won’t you?” The older man sets both his own hands against the child’s side, grunts softly with effort before he himself settles against the porch and shifts Crish into his lap. With any luck, Mary might swing by for him by the end of the day. How the two managed to let this one escape without noticing wasn’t Robert’s to judge. What a crafty toddler though- if he and the Cahn baby were to team up, they would probably be an unstoppable team.  “You wanna go inside? Get some juice?”

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hisgoodending:

He’s upset Robert he can see that much. He sighs, stepping inside Robert’s home before he pisses the man off further, following the man into his living room. 

“I wasn’t snooping. Well, ok I didn’t mean to. I just see you guys hanging around and I kind of y’know,” got childishly jealous out of my mind, “noticed you two having fun, is all.”

He feels like he’s walking on egg shells. Whatever he says now is gonna anger the beast. He’s starting to regret even coming over, Robert’s temper can be such a bitch.

“Absolutely not. After all, we’re friends…aren’t we?” He’s not actually sure..God he hopes so. This event may turn tearful. He’s already on the edge thinking how Robert could like the new guy. May even like-like the new guy. 

He clears his throat, the noise clearing his head, “ ahem…but speaking of- me and you should hang out more, huh? We could go to the bar-or-or monster hunting- or even just sit and catch the game.” He elbows Robert playfully, but there’s a painful look on his face of hidden fear. 

“Any ol’ excuse to be with my Rob, huh? What about it?”

The interior of Robert’s apartment bore little change from how it used to be. One notable difference however, was that the bar that had previously been well stocked was kept clean of the empty bottles that used to litter its surface. All the remaining alcohol had been stashed downstairs, kept locked away. Out of sight, out of mind- right? 

Some of his hostility and simmering agitation settled at the explanation, nevertheless the man is still testy when he crosses his arms and replies.  “Whatever the case, what the hell we get up to is none of your concern.”  Who was he to come all the way over here just to question him about it? After all this time. That’s what made him come forward? What the hell was he up to this time round? The lingering frown on his features darkened even further.  His Rob? What a fucking joke. “I told you not to call me that.” If Robert were to say that he doesn’t feel perplexed by the turn of events, he would be lying. Half of him had expected for the other to be attempting to invite the New guy out. But him? After all the history they had between them- why the hell was he trying to reach out to him again?  “Alright. Quit screwing around- I don’t give a shit about your pleasantries, christiansen.” The words were deliberately bit out in as detached of a manner as he were able. “What on earth do you want from me? There’s no way you’d expect me to buy the whole ‘catching up’ schtick so why don’t you do us both a favour and spit it out already.”

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|itsxxyou|

@itsxxyou liked for a starter:

It wasn’t everyday that he gets to see an unfamiliar face wandering around the streets at this hour. Most of the inhabitants of Maple Bay like to turn in early, and those who don’t are typically either into the party scene or looking to get shit faced like he was. But this kid? He’d circled the block at least thrice at this point and Robert has yet to see him get into any one of the available bars.  While he doesn’t necessarily think the sketchy man’s a cryptid, he’s not entirely dismissing the notion either. After all, there are human-resembling ones out there. Probably lurking in the woods and wandered out because they were drawn to the lights. Something like that. 

“Hands up. Give me your wallet.” He lets the tense air stay for a brief moment before placing his knife back into his pockets. Just in case the man cryptid tries anything funny, they’ll know he’s armed and ready to stab shit. “Kidding. You look like your walk should have ended hours ago. Where are you headed, buddy?”

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|antiquexbeast|

@antiquexbeast liked for a starter:

If it had been anyone else, Robert would probably have issued a gruff ‘no’ immediately. But seeing that it was Mary asking, and that covering her shift at the pet shelter meant potentially being drowned in enthusiastic barking and dog slobber, it doesn’t take much convincing for him to agree.  So the man finds himself lingering round the counter awkwardly when the day arrived. Sliding off his shades, he briefly surveyed his surroundings, inwardly thankful that he does at least spot someone else that seemed experienced enough to guide him through this...whatever the hell he needed to do. “Hey. I’m here to distract you while the folks in the back steal all of your dogs.” A brief pause is given. “I’m kidding. I’m filling in for Mary.” 

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|reconcyl|

@reconcyl liked for a starter: 

With the encouragement of both Mary and the new guy, he probably should stop referring to them as ‘new guy’ some time soon but whatever, Robert succeeds in not backing out of his agreement to meet his estranged daughter. A part of him still wonders if he has enough time to bolt. Because that’s what every fiber of his being is telling him to do so right now. To turn tail and run, like the coward he’d always been. Too afraid of meeting the full consequences of what he did...or failed to do in this case. Too afraid to stand in the harsh light of tragedy without attempting to drown himself in alcohol as a distraction. 

But he’d promised that this time would be different. And it will. He owes it to the ones who actually gave a shit enough about him to tell him what he needed to hear even if it makes him angry. Hell, he owes it to himself. To Val. And Marilyn.  Robert had chosen The Coffee Spoon, deeming it a suitable middle ground to meet her on. As time passes, he finds himself drumming his fingers in anxious anticipation, gaze falling on the entrance ever so often even as he nursed a black coffee. Unsure. Not knowing what the outcome would be. Not knowing what to say, not knowing what will be said. He hadn’t been this nervous...since that one time he broke into someone’s house to steal their neglected puppy. 

[caztalia]

the talk

[shotsofregret-blog]

[ I feel like I keep repeating myself but: I do STILL intend to get to my owed drafts and starters. I'm just dealing w a lot of withdrawal symptoms cus I take heavy doses of antidepressants and I got cut off abruptly so if I'm not 'all here' etc, it's nothing personal. It's just the withdrawals hecking me up. I'm equally as frustrated about not being able to do shit and ty for being patient w me.]

[unpretty]

Tumblr: *rolls out “best stuff first”*

My blog:

[unpretty]

on the one hand this is a joke post because lol i have never made a good post in my life, but also, if i hadn’t made the connection between this update and my sudden nosedive in activity, i would have been really fucking discouraged about all the shit i’ve been working on lately. i guarantee there are people on tumblr right now who haven’t made that connection, and who are trying to figure out why suddenly no one likes anything they’ve made. and that fucking sucks.

[jasper-appreciation]

Reminder to go into your settings and turn off ‘Best Stuff First’ because my activity’s tanked a couple days ago for no reason so this stuff IS happening.

You WILL miss content with that setting on.

[sergle]

i ain’t joking when i say that my activity looks JUST like this too and i wasn’t sure why

[hiddlescheekbones]

I can only find the option on the app under Settings > Dashboard Preferences.

[clintfbarton-deactivated2025012]

To support content creators do us a favour and turn off “Best stuff first”. Open the tumblr app (Android or iOs) and go to “Settings > Dashboard Preferences. And please reblog this post, so that everybody will see this. Thank you very much!

[drferox]

I assumed I just wasn’t writing very well, but maybe it’s not just me.

Am I supposed to pay to get my writing in front of followers now?

[space-australians]

We interrupt your regularly-scheduled sci-fi content because this is important for app users, and it sucks. We all follow blogs because we want to see their content, not to have a crappy algorithm decide what’s best.

This blog is down approximately 80%, which doesn’t affect me other than as an annoyance (as this is a hobby and @okayto is small-ish) but the issue undoubtedly hurts others.

Below are instructions for turning it off. You have to do it individually–it doesn’t matter if a blog you follow turns it off, you’ll still be affected unless you do the same.

[mona-chan-deactivated20210102]

Turn it off, this is very important thing!

[domino-doodles]

TURN THIS OFF!! IT’S KILLING SMALL CREATORS!!

[perfectshadow06]

SPREAD THE LUV FOR SMALL CREATORS! Q//A//Q This is affecting Perf pretty badly too….. Q////Q

[mooncatyao]

…….I really want to reblog this again

[shotsofregret-blog]

*On your porch, poking Betsy in the face* ~{SailorGuppy}

It was fortunate that his old girl has the sweetest disposition ever because that would probably not have ended well for the slightly pudgy child he found on his porch. As it turned out, the baby’s efforts were rewarded with energetic barking and attempts to lick the human child from darling ol Betsy.

Perhaps it was his residual headache that kept the true bizarreness of the situation from truly sinking in, but Robert does his best to take care of the immediate issue. Stooping with a grunt, he steadied his energetic pet with a few strokes of his own before addressing the child with as gentle of a tone as he could.“Hey sweetheart. What’re you doing all alone out here? Where’s mommy?”@sailorguppy