The Table Laughed

A side-blog for all the DnD content I keep losing. Player & DM; I’ll chuck tips and ideas up, please feel free to ask or add

[should-i-roll-for-that]

The first and only thing that came to mind when I heard Matt’s voice for Maruo

[dnd-one-shots]

Have the party start in a tavern

Have the party start in the tavern, which is in fact a giant mimic they had just been devoured by moments before and must escape before they are all digested.

Have the party start in tavern, but its a themed tavern; the theme being ‘a tavern you would find in the mortal realm’.  Clearly visible from the windows is not the mortal realm.

Have the party start in a tavern, as it is where the X on their treasure map lies.  Somewhere within is 20,000 gold worth in stolen jewels.

Have the party start in a tavern with a famed magic mirror on the wall that shows the room 5 minutes in the future .  Eventually a party member looks over and sees them-self being murdered by assassins.  The party now has 5 minutes to prepare in order to change their fate.

Have the party start in a tavern.  The lights go out and when they come back on the baroness is dead.  One of the party members is a murderer..  

Have the party start in a, tavern, which is currently on fire.  The fire is wielding great-swords.  Roll initiative.

Have the party start in a tavern.  They were born here, grew up here, and the tavern is all they know.  Today, the front door opens for the first time.

Have the party start in a tavern.  It was the only thing that survived the great flood and is now floating on the surface of a vast ocean.

Have the party start in a tavern.  On the wall is a portrait of one of the taverns founders, one who looks suspiciously like one the party members; the founder was rumored to be an immortal vampire who disappeared long ago.  The serving staff grow suspicious of the party, and try to dispose of them in the night by an angry mob.  

Have the party start in a tavern.  It is a surprise birthday party for one the party members.  Orcs jump out of the cake.

Have the party start in a tavern.  They own and operate the tavern (bartender, cook, etc).  The low level adventuring party that promised to rid the rats out of the cellar come running up the stairs, dropping their adventuring equipment in panic as they flee screaming into the streets.  Something very not-rat comes skittering up the stairs towards them.

[should-i-roll-for-that]

Nobody:

Caduceus Clay:

[should-i-roll-for-that]

[should-i-roll-for-that]

Starter Pack for Lesbian Geeks™️

[schistcity]

Some of the new items from my fave D&D NPC’s refurbished Slightly-Cursed Items Shop, in which she sells my players items ranging from effectively useless to legitimately deadly – but always entertaining. Feel free to use these tragedies!

[bears-official]

UH SCUSE an first of these things sound EXTREMLY ROOD

[queerdungeons]

birth

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

THE PORTAL OPENS

[walmartdionysus]

[basalt-dnd]

More common potions by Vharen Felspar, my alchemist character. I’ll try to get more homebrew up, soon! (Just bogged down with class work at the moment)

[characterportraits]

[should-i-roll-for-that]

My Fjord inspired Jack-o-Lantern 🗡 Would that I could draw, but, alas, I’ll just mutilate fruit 🎃

[peashooter85]

Punishment mask worn by criminals as part of public shaming, 16th-17th century.

from Hermann Historica

[basalt-dnd]

A few types of monstrous mushroom. Technically, mushrooms aren’t plants, but D&D doesn’t exactly have a fungi category. A forewarning that these may be listed as CR 0, but they could be pretty brutal combined with other enemies (especially in large numbers). 

The artwork used is by Fumar-Porros. Check out his page!

If you’d like to see more 5e homebrew, consider supporting me on ko-fi!

[dare-to-dm]

Random Magical Trinkets

So today my players encountered a travelling trinket salesmen who had a strange variety of goods on sale.  I had fun coming up with random minor magical items, so I thought I would share them.

Trick Coins - Always land on the same side no matter how many times you flip them.  Don’t get caught using them to gamble.

Magic Buttons - Can never be lost.  Even if they fall off your garment, they will reappear in your pouch or pocket the next day.

Ghost Torch - The smoke from this torch makes ghosts visible.

Magical Dye - These pigments can recolor almost any object.

Alluring Pinecone - I stole this item from Oglaf because I think it’s great (nsfw link).  I of course did not introduce it in so vulgar a fashion.

Cat Seeds - Magical seeds that if planted and cared for will grow into bulbs that will eventually bloom as kittens.  These kittens are like normal cats in most respects except that they don’t hunt and subsist on sunlight and water rather than food.  

Unbreakable Thread - Sewing thread that can’t be broken.  Lone exception to the “You break it, you buy it” rule of the store.

Demon Tears - Small crystalline stones that will strike fear into the hearts of those that are struck by them.

Charming Cufflinks - Gives a small bonus to diplomacy with folk of the opposite gender.

Elven Earrings - When worn, they give the illusion that you have elf ears.

Magical Umbrella - A hands free umbrella that floats above you when it rains and is not affected by wind

Fish Whistle - A whistle that drives fish mad and will cause them to literally leap into your boat or on shore.

Magic Chalk - Can write on any surface, even non-solid ones.  To erase, simply wipe it off with your hands.

Hate Spice - A seasoning which will cause the food to taste terrible to anyone who hates the cook.  

Magical Jelly Molds - Can either cook or freeze jelly like substances that are placed within them instantly.

Password Protected Coin Purse - Can only be opened if you know the password

Kinstone - Vibrates when relatives draw near. Useful alarm system for in-laws.

Water Magnet - Water is magnetically attracted to this unassuming chunk of metal

Lying Lipstick - Gives the wearer a small bonus on Bluff checks.

[probninja]

These are the rewards for killing the king

[brightb-vt]

Gifts for your character’s s/o

[dungeons-and-danis]

very neat idea for anyone who enjoys puzzle making!

[pikachudrawer-deactivated202512]

I saw this gate while on my hike today.

[explorerrowan]

You fail to close that gate, you’re definitely letting all the fairies loose.

Listen, I don’t make the rules. Just for the love of Pete close it behind you.

[sindri42]

I feel like going around the gate is also inviting some sort of misfortune.

[basalt-dnd]

How do you make your own stat blocks, like the one for the mole drake?

I use a program by Genius Inc, but the Homebrewery is another good option if you don’t want to download anything.

[plusthreeshortsword]

A quick little something I knocked together, the patented tragic backstory generator ™ is the easiest way to give your character a mythically horrible origin. 

(actual tragedy may vary, results are final and non-negotiable, i am not responsible for any tears you may shed while imagining the sad life your character must have led up to this point)

[rpgprotip]

Here’s your backstory!