As you all know. I work at an elementary school. And for Christmas, a bunch of kids got tamagotchis. Well. One girl fucking FORGOT her tamagotchi at school. And I saw it and was like oh fuck. So I took it home for the weekend and now am saddled with the responsibility of keeping it alive until Monday afternoon when I see her again.
Not this damn tamagotchi setting off an alarm at fucking 1am because it "pooped" and I need to press buttons to clean it up 😭 there's NO WAY of turning this thing off. Avielle is lucky I've committed myself to taking care of it this weekend. Next time a kid forgets their tamagotchi at school I'm letting it die idc idc
I’m locking it in the bathroom overnight idc the fact that it keeps going off for no reason is insane whoever invented these needs to go to jail
I can’t clean its poop while it’s asleep so it’s just sleeping in a pile of it’s own shit rn … why is this enjoyable??
This fucking thing is like. Nocturnal. It’s slept ALL DAY like it won’t STOP SLEEPING in a pile of shit and there’s nothing I can do to wake it up which like, that’s fine except it’s going to wake up at night and start beeping at me!!!!! How am I supposed to take care of it when it literally is only awake at night???? I have a morning shift tomorrow I can’t stay up until 3 am to feed this fucking pixel beast!!! But also I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let avielle’s beloved tamagotchi die so I guess this is just my life now
Tamagotchi UPDATE because a lot of people are saying they’re invested in how this plays out.
After, i shit you not, OVER THIRTEEN HOURS of sleep, the tamagotchi finally woke up at 9:18pm, which I was made aware of because it beeped loudly at me. For context, I am at my SECOND job (not the elementary school, the candy shop where I am currently alone working the closing shift on a Saturday night, which is already not fun.) I investigate and finally clean up the two giant shits that have been sitting on screen for the entire thirteen hour nap. However, the poops are quickly replaced by…. A ghost????
You can’t rly see but it was like. The black blob to the side. Clearly a ghost or possibly skull or black jellyfish. When I try to hit any buttons, the tamagotchi shakes its head violently at me, refusing to eat or play. I can’t get the ghost to leave. A customer walks in and I have to hastily stuff the tamagotchi into my pocket. When I take it out of my pocket, the ghost has gone. I press a bunch of buttons at random until I am able to ascertain that this little fuck is 1. STARVING 2. MISERABLE. Which is NOT MY FAULT, seeing as it was asleep for THE ENTIRE WAKING FUCKING DAY and resisted all attempts to engage with it. I press more buttons, and am able to feed it 5 hamburgers and 2 pieces of cake, which fills it up. It is still deeply unhappy. I am currently standing behind the counter of this stupid candy store on the clock jamming buttons in order to entertain this stupid pixelated asshole enough that it becomes sufficiently happy. So that it doesn’t fucking die of boredom or depression or whatever. The game we play is confusing and involves numbers and pressing buttons at random times. The tamagotchi is very explicit with its attempts to show its frustration at me, but right now it’s 9:32pm and I think it’s satisfied. I’ve been walked in on three times. It keeps beeping at me from my pocket. Long story short:
So this tamagotchi is the fucking devil.
11:30pm Saturday night. I’m finally almost done closing the candy store and ready to go home. Since waking up, the tamagotchi has been periodically beeping with an obscene sense of urgency and entitlement, but nothing out of the ordinary. I take a fun mirror selfie (for a later update) with the tamagotchi in the mirror by the front door right before I’m about to leave. I walk away from the mirror.
It fucking shatters.
God fucking help me I am about to lose my shit.
Morning update: a very kind person sent me an ask telling me how to hack a pause on this tamagotchi. They also, in a round abour way, told me how to set the time—the eight year old who owns this tamagotchi had it set to the reverse, so the beastie thought it was 9:30pm instead of am, which explains why it was ONLY AWAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I fixed it for her so that it actually has a reasonable sleep schedule, woke up the tamagotchi, cleaned it’s 3 festering poops, got rid of the ghost (which someone else informed me means the tamagotchi is sick, probably from the starvation and the poops), fed it a bunch of hamburgers and cake slices, and got it back to full health and happiness. Now I’m gonna use the pause hack to pause this motherfucker. Yaaaay! Time to feed and walk my actual living dog and then go to work and clean up a shattered mirror 🧍🧍🧍
Nothing new to report, I had a long workday so I’m REALLY glad that person gave me the pause hack or it would have died of neglect. To address some of the comments in the notes, 1. yes this kid is worth it I would do it for any of them I love my children even if I fucking hate this tamagotchi 2. @ the person in my notes who said their tamagotchi stressed them so much they destroyed it with a hammer youre my favorite person and that’s hysterical I get it I really do 3. Several people are asking where they can get a tamagotchi and expressing the desire to acquire one and I have to say: if your takeaway from this post is that tamagotchis are fun toys there is something WRONG with you THEY ARE NOT FUN THE MORAL OF THIS POST IS DO NOT GET A TAMAGOTCHI THEY SUCK SO BAD 4. I give this piece of shit back to Avie early tomorrow afternoon thank fucking god I’ve never been more excited to get rid of a thing in my life. Okay that’s all for now thank you for following this journey we are nearing the end. Goodnight from me and atlas and the pixel devil
Yoooooo it evolved into a kind of blobular duck thing !!
THE TAMAGOTCHI HAS BEEN RETURNED TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER!!!!
It was honestly worth it, she was so so surprised and happy and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters to me. I would do anything for these kids for real. But I am also beyond thrilled that that hellspawn is out of my hands. What a harrowing year this past weekend has been. This is my final update—I know a lot of people have become invested, and to those people I say thank you for joining me on this journey. I leave you with this.
