[kanaya]

What was Zeus’s stripper name?

[kanaya]

Greece Lightning.

[kanaya]

It has been over a year since I’ve made this post now, and I swear every single fucking day I get notifications out the ass with you shits reblogging it. Let it die.

[skellydun]

[sixteenplagues-deactivated20230]

windows 8 can suck my dick

[dild0]

I can’t believe how far technology has come

[colehersch]

filmed my boss firing me from my sales position

[caucasianmkultramassshooter]

[shut-up-ben]

it is just my humble opinion that i should have won a golden globe for my production and choreography of the two girls one cup video

[classicmeevs]

me, a lazy winemaker

“fuck fuck fuck” *frantically squeezing grapes into an empty wine bottle 2 minutes before the Big Wine Tasting Competition*

[crimsonbehelit-deactivated20151]

[shut-up-ben]

11:11 wish

unlimited anal beads

[kazehayakuns]

[reinasof]

#relationshipgoals

[undereyelouisvuittons-deactivat]

My gf: u hav smal dck Me: we take what we can get in this economy

[abacot]

Conservatives: “Racism is a myth, global warming is a myth, sexism is a myth, gun deaths are a myth, evolution is a myth, net decrease in immigration is a myth and non-Muslim terrorists are a myth.

Me: "so what isn’t a myth?”

Conservatives: “God.”

[andthenyourealizethat]

if you die in wii sports resort you die in real life

[nursery-deactivated20160926]

really though, “sneaking out” is such a white thing in every aspect bc firstly u need a big ass Suburban House™ with big windows and various levels of roofing so u can safely jump out. you also need White Parents™. forget getting out of the house my toe wouldn’t hang out of my bed w/out my mum knowing. let’s say u managed to best those eoc (ears of colour) how tf are u gonna get back in ? poc (parents of colour) all have a spiritual connection to their front door like they can telepathically communicate. 5 mins before i even approach that door u know my mum’s sitting on the other side waiting to kill me. it’s just not realistic. 

^^^^^

[afreakin-goddess]

This is no joke tho. one time my brother snuck out, managed to get past all the obstacles that come with having an African mother, except one. MY MOM HAD A DREAM THAT MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD HER TO WAKE UP AND CHECK ON THE KIDS! i was sleeping in the room with her so she knew i was fine, but went to my brothers room and his ass was gone. that’s why whenever someone asks me to sneak out, im always like naw im good, the asswhoppin my brother got doesn’t need a sequel

[eronthebender]

Yo grandmama snitched on your brother from the dream realm… Ain’t that some shit lmao

[dat-chem-nerd]

[counterstrikedaily]

[loop-zoop]

i want this to replace the john cena jokes