Rivers bend, not break

If you don't have anything nice to say, lie.

[slategraham-blog]

BEWARE OF CAMPERS! I decided to go on a midnight run through the woods in my birthday suit and traumatized some people. By people I mean a family. They all screamed - I was equally amused and offended. Or just don’t go running in your birthday suit. Not everyone appreciates a finely tuned body these days. 

[shutuptala]

I think my question here is more why did you think running at midnight through the woods naked wouldn’t have caused any problems. I can’t fault you for a midnight run, though, the woods are beautiful. 

[shutuptala]

sheriffana‌:

You and most the population! I have days where I swear I bump into everything in existence, so I get you. As far as tripping goes, no but I have walked into walls with my laptop in hand. 

I’m glad to hear I’m not alone.I can’t imagine walking face first into a wall - did either you or the laptop get hurt?

[shutuptala]

heymickcy‌:

Oh, he was definitely lying about it all. They usually do. And I totally get it, really… Some people aren’t too adventurous in the bedroom, so telling a ridiculous story is easier than being kink shamed. I’m sure he had to tell his wife. It was going to be rough to sit regularly for him for a while. I don’t know what I would say in that moment, honestly. There would be held back laughter for sure. 

I never understood kink shaming. Just be upfront about it, y’know? Especially if you’re in the hospital for said kink. Like hey, it’s cool, you’re just here to get the post removed from inside you, not be shamed for anything. I honestly think my first question would be about splinters. That is, after I finish laughing. 

[shutuptala]

dconsully‌:

That’s very true. I’d like to think, when things like that happen, it’s a means of buying new things! And honestly, I’m always here for new everything… even if it’s a thrifted find. I know most people don’t have a million gel packs sitting around, but hey, any means of maybe saving things in the future! They also do make keyboard covers to stop any liquids from entering them.

Can you even thrift laptops? I honestly don’t know. I haven’t tried. Maybe there’s some half decent ones out there. Maybe! And that way, if someone else ends up in the same situation, I can provide the packets much quicker than having to get them online. Those keyboard covers sound absolutely life changing and I have decided I need one right now. 

[shutuptala]

thatguynoahh‌:

That is the main thing, I have lost everything once and never again! I told you, Google is not a faithful source, we can do better. Well hopefully it won’t happen again. Leak proof travel cups only around your laptop from now on. 

Google lies. I trust you much more. Wait, there’s leak proof travel cups? The ones I get always end up leaking. Please, show me the way. I clearly need one of these. Or ten. 

[shutuptala]

frankie-aoibh‌:

Well, at least you can say you tried. You didn’t take photos to begin with? I hope you got a few laughs when you walked passed the container. It’s okay, I have the mental image in my mind that I imagined it would look like. Sounds like you have a solid plan in place, I don’t think you could go too wrong with most laptops these days.

I did not take photos! I know, I’m a total disappointment. It didn’t really make me laugh, mostly just cringe a bit, especially the longer it just sat there. It mocked me, I’m sure of it. I hope not! Whatever I pick just needs to work, to be honest.

[shutuptala]

sheriffana‌:

PC keyboards are super easy to order online! I’ve actually got a stock fo them just in case - along with blue tooth mouse. Are you a clumsy person by nature? I would most likely be the person trying to read something on the laptop while walking through the precinct and end up tripping.

Those both sound like a great idea. I try to pretend I’m not a clumsy person but the amount of times I’ve done something stupid as fuck is definitely not a testament to that. I feel that - I’d definitely be the sort of person to trip. Have you done that before? Or is that why you stick to the desktop computer?

[shutuptala]

shenannighthawk‌:

I suppose helping you shop for one is something I can do. I’ve got to head to Seattle soon to pick up a few things, want to tag along? We can check out a best buy or apple store. I’m not sure what kind of laptop girl you are? PC or Apple? I feel like we should have a proper burial for your poor laptop. 

Yeah, lets do it! Seattle is always fun. What are you picking up? I’m usually a PC kind of girl, but I can be persuaded either way. Whatever looks prettiest is usually a winner. We should indeed have a burial. I have the smallest backyard but a laptop grave will definitely fit. We need flowers! 

[shutuptala]

frankie-aoibh‌:

I was going to suggest rice since apparently, that solves problems to everything. But then I can laugh at the image of your whole laptop stuck in a bucket of rice, sorry. I think you may need a new one, though. But on the plus side you can pick out a fancy new one!

Rice did not work, despite the laptop being stuck in a big container of it for like two days. I didn’t take photos, but I can stick it back in if you would like to see the image and laugh. I do have to pick out a new one! Shopping isn’t really my forte so I’ll probably end up picking whichever one looks prettiest.

[shutuptala]

thatguynoahh‌:

I may or may not have had this exact same situation occur after being up late at night working. Trust me, Google lies. Rice is only good for eating and sometimes phones. I have always made sure to back everything up since then.

All the documents were safe, thank god. But the actual laptop was complete toast. Google lied to me! I’m feeling rather betrayed by it, to be honest. I need another option for when this happens again. 

[shutuptala]

shenannighthawk‌:

I feel bad for laughing but I’m totally am at the moment! I don’t think there is saving any laptop that has been spilled on. However, I hope the rice works for your sake!

I honestly would be upset at the laughing thing, except I would have totally laughed if it happened to someone else. The laptop was not saved by the rice, sadly. So I am now in the market for a new one. You have to help me shop for one! It’s the least you can do. Y’know, after laughing at me.

[shutuptala]

sheriffana‌:

I have absolutely no idea how to get coffee out of a laptop, but I really wish I did! I’ve taken a small tumble spilling it all over my work computer keyboard once or twice - but those are easier and cheaper to replace. 

I hope for your sake that your work keyboards were replaced easily. I might want to invest in a desktop setup if it means I won’t have to replace my entire laptop next time it happens. Cause there will be a next time, I know that much.

[shutuptala]

dconsully‌:

Rice is usually the go to, honestly, but I think it’s because what most people have laying around their home… because, as you know, rice is life. I’ve heard of people using those little silica gel packets that you find in purses, book bags, and wallets, when you buy them. You’d have to have a bunch of them, but they absorb moisture. Hit up a retailer and ask if you can buy some from them maybe?

I’m pretty sure the laptop would have been long gone by the time that the gel packets arrived. I will take you up on your offer though and invest in some for the future. The rice did not work, unfortunately! So maybe the gel packets would work for next time. 

[shutuptala]

Does anyone have a suggestion on how to get coffee out of a laptop? I may or may not have spilled an entire cup on my keyboard. Emphasis on the may have. Google says to put it in rice, so that’s where I’m at now. Any suggestions are much appreciated - I don’t really want to go and get a new one. 

[agarfieldttarchived]

It’s a beer and xbox kind of night. Who’s with me? Might even get crazy and order pizza, I don’t know, I’ll have to see where the night takes me.

[shutuptala]

You had me at Xbox. Or maybe pizza. I can’t decide, but either way, I’m in. What games do you play? I will not hesitate to kick your ass. 

[shutuptala]

heymickcy‌:

It was pretty damn hard to keep it all together. I’m not entirely sure what made him think to tell us such a story, but there he was, swearing up and down that it was the case. I was far too amused to do anything other than blatantly stare. That makes all the sense! Falling ass first, naked, does not. But you know, I really just want to know if he told his wife.

I mean, something tells me he was lying. I’m sure I wouldn’t want to say anything at all, let alone broadcast a story like that. But whatever dude, good for him. That’s what I thought! I hope he did tell his wife. I wonder what her reaction would have been like. Because if I had a partner who came home telling me “Honey, I got a post stuck inside me today”, I have no idea how i would respond. Probably laugh. And questions, lots of questions. 

[shutuptala]

heymickcy‌:

Do you ever just stop to think what was going through someone’s mind when they decided to stick a foreign body up inside themselves? Because honestly, having to listen to someone talk about how they ‘tripped and fell on to’ the wooden post currently inside of them, causing it to get stuck, all the while naked almost made me lose my job today. Trying to hold back laughter as they adamantly asked us not to tell their wife was almost as hard as the wooden post itself. And I know that I’m terrible, but could you have held back laughter? If you say yes, you’re a damn liar.

I laughed out loud reading this - there’s no way I would have been able to control myself if I was in your position. You deserve a medal or some shit. Why did they expect you to believe that they tripped and fell onto the post? How clumsy do you have to be to trip, lose all your clothes, and end up with the pole directly inside you? Like I’ve tripped and fell plenty of times, but always just ended up with a bruise. Clearly someone’s got a more exciting life than me!