Hello friends, foes, and undecided

Enemy of the State, queer, they/them, lost in the chaos I created: approach like you would a hermit crab/ferret

[shy-petty-weirdo]

thb I don't really like Texas or Nebraska

[feminist-space]

[johanna-swann]

[everydayconman]

The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

[mikerickson]

I do enjoy when a very old classic Tumblr post (like literally a decade old at this point) comes across my Dash and I click on OP's account and their last post was like, 30 minutes ago.

[loxare]

I think my favourite part of the hadestown proshoot is when Eurydice says, "Is he always like this?" and Hermes, who has seen this story a thousand thousand times, who has tried again and again to warn Orpheus not to come on too strong, says with Extreme Exhaustion in his voice, "Yes."

[draconic-daughter]

Shoutout to all the trans girls out there who were forced to live as miserable boys during the 2000’s or 2010’s, missing out on all the weird sparkledog scene rawr xd era and who are now gloriously reclaiming this time in their adulthood. All power to you. Be blessed now and forever, colorful creatures. Go outshine god.

[calcazars]

let it be known that i touch grass frequently and I’m still like this.

[koffeinkaos]

Hunith would be supportive of Merthur and Balinor would invite Lancelot to every family dinner in hopes of Merlin changing his mind eventually.

[trickstertime]

We all know humans are freakishly good at throwing and catching but imagine aliens who arrive and can't throw. We'd be terrifying. Like, when I say were good I mean most animals cannot throw, and we are orders of magnitude more accurate and powerful than the closest other animal. Our bodies litterally evolved to make us incredible at throwing.

From the point of view of an alien who evolved without throwing, we have arms and hands that can build things probably similar to them, even if they have tentacles, but also at any time, without preparation, we can become a ranged weapon. And we can use pretty much anything we can hold.

Like, put it into the humans are space orks mindset, if the aliens don't have natural armour, especially if they are like an octopus, we are living guns. If they're imprisoning us, they cannot leave us with *anything* we can hold because, even if we cannot reach them to stab or injure them, without warning we become ranged weapon that could hit them even through a small gap. Even if a thing is dropped where we can reach it they're fucked if they don't get out of shot in a second or two. If we have time to make a sling fucking forget about it. With practice we can sling stones with thw power and accuracy of a bullet using just our hands and some fabric. But even without that, if we can hold it, we are lethal at surprising range.

Some of us can flick cards with so much power they cut drink cans. Paper cards! There's a guy who can throw a needle through glass and pop a balloon on the other side. Baseball players regularly throw balls with so much power that one time a ball hit a pidgin and it fucking exploded.

It doesn't even have to be bad or a threat either, like, imagine an alien wanting to have a human on crew because, yes they're living weapons but they also pack bond with fucking anything so they mostly use it for good. All the ones on our ship pack bonded with the cleaning robot and throw things in front of it for it to eat. Fascinatingly mundane use of an incredible ability. That's nothing, one time we were trapped on one side of a space dock and couldn't get to the other other because of fire. A human on the other side of the dock who came to save us threw a fire extinguisher at us the full distance of the gap not knowing it could kill us, but the one on our side ran, jumped over us and caught it out of the air before it could hit us and landed on its feet. It calculated not only where it's hands needed to be, but its whole body, and how to land after looking at it in the air for less than a second. They're absolutely invaluable to have on crew.

[tlirsgender]

"You know what's harder than Getting Better? Living Like That" is just the thesis for my whole shit going on right now honestly. You know what's harder than doing my physical therapy? Hurting All The Time. You know what's harder than addressing my gender dysphoria? Hurting All The Time

[tlirsgender]

I'm Doing The Hard Thing and it's *easier* than how I was living before. If you make yourself feel better you will have more energy to spend on Getting Better. Nice inch nails - the upward spiral. Crawl out of your grave Thursday

[sniperct]

tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)

[existennialmemes]

Being unconscious is so good. Literally one of the most healing things you can do. But only when you do it on purpose. Being rendered unconscious is usually pretty bad for you.

So, you know, watch out for that.

[koothebird]

The Mitch McConnell situation rn

[presidentdragon]

"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

[tyke-dyke]

VAGINA!!!!

[presidentdragon]

[lastoneout]

[jethroq]

[aphleos]

prev dont leave this in the tags

[silvergryphonart]

Literally the definition of imperialism and classism. Doesn’t matter how many peasants you sacrifice as long as the most powerful piece is left standing

[musicalhell]

Proximity of bishops to the rulers promotes theocratic oppression

[juh-was-deactivated19691231-dea]

the horse is so fuckable

[dinottosaurs]

if you work with kids 80% of your job is just this

[brionysea]

I refuse to let you leave this in the tags. fly. be free

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[sacred-portal]

[brainstatic]

Just a heads up right now: on the day when Trump dies, I’m going to be extremely tasteless about it. It’s going to get ugly. You are going to see a side of me I am not proud of. I don’t want any call-outs in my inbox, I’m stating right now that lines will be crossed.

[stoned-dahmer-deactivated201802]

How disgusting can someone be

I wouldn’t even say this about my worst enemy

Forget the fact that its trump. If you agree with this youre fucking evil. Evil literally lives inside you. Wow.

[a-really-bad-decision]

Anyways all of y’all AND the evil that literally lives inside of you are invited to the sick ass house party I’m throwing when lord dampnut kicks the bucket

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

I feel like all you Americans need to take a look at what happened here in the UK after Maggie Thatcher died. Because when it comes to tasteless celebrations fuelled by anger and the death of a hated political leader, we REALLY pushed the boat out. We had street parties. We had burning effigies. We pushed “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” to the top of the charts out of sheer hatred. Bone up kiddos, and I really hope you manage to do that truly American thing, of dramatically outdoing us with your celebrations.

[truth-has-a-liberal-bias]

Reblogging for last comment.

[eyesofatragedy67]

With the way this year is going, the sooner it happens the better.

[hazeldomain]

*this can be reblogged every year

[systlin]

I’m going to make cake. There’s going to be fireworks. There WILL be a burnt effigy.

[jackdaw-kraai]

Look, I’m gonna level with you americans for a second. When old wrinkly and orange kicks the bucket, for once in my life, possibly the only time, I’ll actually want to be able to see the fireworks from across the Atlantic. And I daresay I won’t be the only one. So listen to me and listen closely, cause I’ll only say it once: When the moldy Cheeto bites it, it’s the one and only chance you’ll likely have at being loudly, unbearably, obnoxiously American in your celebration and for once, the rest of the world won’t complain. 

[blondejaneblonde]

…I know I just reblogged this, but that last comment 👌👨🏻‍🍳

[finnglas]

Listen I’m already designing the cake I’m gonna order from Publix.

[caitlynlynch]

I want to see the fireworks from AUSTRALIA, guys. Make it happen.