I feel like Bertie would get along extremely well with one of my favorite ever Call of Cthulhu PCs, Alistair, himbo par extraordinaire.
Alistair (full name Alistair Percival Bramwell Barrington) was a British nobleman (second son, fortunately for his family fortune) whom I can only describe as an orange cat of a man: beautiful, charming, and dumb as a bag of rocks. His INT stat was a 30, which for those unfamiliar with CoC rules is....dismal. I did this on purpose. For my concept to work, Alistair had to have absolutely nothing going on upstairs.
Alistair's problem-solving process, in the squeaky hamster wheel of his brain, went like this:
Can I charm the problem? -> Alistair's charm skill was 80 at the start of the campaign, meaning he had to roll an 80 or less on percentile dice to succeed. As you can imagine, he succeeded a lot.
Can I solve the problem with money? -> Alistair did not have access to the full family fortune, but he did have an allowance that was good enough for most general bribery.
Can I shoot the problem? -> Alistair had an elephant gun, because we started the game on an exploration in Peru and it seemed fitting that he'd bring his family heirloom (Old Smokey) along. Both the GM and I would come to realize the consequences of this decision later. Alistair did not LIKE shooting people, but when eldritch horrors started appearing, he was forced to conclude that sometimes friendship was not enough and he'd have to rely on the power of incredible violence.
Some of Alistair's greatest hits include:
Accidentally seducing an American millionaire lady who we were trying to get information out of by rolling extreme successes on like three consecutive charm checks. This worked very well for her because she was a ruthless Girlboss(TM) who didn't want any man who might challenge her control of her companies, but DID appreciate the unconditional affection of a very sweet and very attractive idiot. This granted him access to even MORE money and resources.
Spending most of his time in Egypt attempting to shop for souvenirs in the marketplace and dedicating most of his campaign journal that session to the very nice rug he bought
Sincerely asking if he could purchase a bridge when the party occultist sarcastically suggested he had one to sell him
Trying to drive a car for the first time ever (he had drivers for that kind of thing) while being chased by eldritch fog and immediately crashing it into a light-post
Every so often and against all odds succeeding at a check to know something and nearly giving aforementioned party occultist a stroke
Finding a shoggoth in Australia that was disguised as a sheep and immediately exclaiming in horror "a SHEEPSHIFTER!" upon its transformation. THAT IS NOT GOING TO STICK, snarled the party occultist. WE ARE NOT CALLING THEM THAT. (It stuck.)
After an offhand comment by an NPC, becoming absolutely certain that penguins were behind some of the nefarious goings-on lately
Becoming a Bast cultist, very enthusiastically
I had to enter a fugue state to play him: brain off, first impulse on, audible SHING of the smile every time I did anything. Incredible experience. Alistair made it out of the campaign with a gorgeous rich wife, some lifelong friends, a phobia of being underground, and a new sense of purpose and accomplishment. I can never play a himbo concept again because I'll never do it better.
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