Hello everyone who followed this account! Thank you so much for being here <3 unfortunately I have to oficially announce that I donāt use tumblr that much anymore :( I had plans on posting new things here but college is eating me up alive and I donāt have enough time to take care of all my social media, let alone make new content for all of them so yeah... everything thatās posted in here will stay in here so donāt worry! And once I get to get back to writing āMake It Rightā Iāll post the new chapters here too, but if I make any new tumblr content besides that it will be posted in my main account (link in bio), I hope yāall understand and that youāre all okay wherever you are reading this right now, thanks one more time ^^ see ya!
ayo, iāll be making some changes in this blog so donāt mind me... also Iām putting make it right in official hiatus now sorry (not like anyone actually cares but)
Summary: You are a glass half full person, your life motto is āLife is too short toā¦ Insert something and anything hereā. During your whole life you wanted something more, and even not knowing what it is, you put yourself to find out and get it, experiencing everything Ā brilliant that the world offers - within the measure of what is safe, of course. The curious thing is that your way of living ended up rousing Ā the interest of two vampires. One who sees beauty in everything and Ā loves to exist, currently working with suicide prevention; and another one who no longer sees grace in things, in that boring immortality that never ends, and only complains about the Netflix catalog all the time.
Pairing: Jimin x reader / Taehyung x reader.
Genre: fluff, angst, mature (not really a smut i guess?)ā¦
Words: Ā 8k+.
Rating: +18
Warnings: Ā Ā As much as my writing is soft and light, and as these are not the main Ā topic of the story, treated in a non-descriptive way, there are sensitive themes from the beginning of the first chapter to the end of the fic that can trigger sensitive people, like depression, suicide, addictions in general - Jimin literally works at a suicide prevention center here. Ā SO PLEASE! Read responsibly, my intention when dealing with topics like Ā this is always 1) dealing with them in myself, as a way of putting out Ā part of my own healing process 2) generating identification in other Ā people, so they can go through the difficult time a little less alone. Ā THIS IS A STORY THAT SEES THE WORLD WITH POSITIVITY.
āI need direction and you need someone to manage
You love to break my walls and I love all the damageā
- Lisa Cimorelli
The following week was monotonous, we started working on the seminary but not along with the Gamesā class yet, so Iād only see Jungkook tomorrow, saturday. Time flew by so fast that I didnāt even feel anxious about the date we setted up at the party, at least until I got home after class to start planning everything.
Jimin tried to take advantage of the situation and choose my outfit again, but this time I didnāt let him do so. Once I settled up everything I would need the next morning it was almost midnight so I decided to take a shower before going to bed.
- Wow girl, want me to braid it? - my best friend said once I walked out of my room only in an old pair of shorts and an oversized shirt.
- What? - he gestured his head towards my legs, which were a bit furry - Hey! Whatās wrong with it?
- Absolutely nothing, my angel. But only if I didnāt know you and how you donāt like being like that, youāre going out with your man tomorrow and as a friend I just wanted to help. - I sighed, I really donāt know why I thought heād be a jerk about such a thing. But Jimin was right, the outfit I chose will leave my legs out and by preference I donāt feel comfortable if theyāre unshaved.
- Okayā¦ thanks.
- And thatās why I also have to tell you I stole your last razor. - I gave him a look, which made him hide his face in his hands. - My bad, but it was when I went out with a tinder match right away last sunday. I was desperate and running like a wild man, you saw it!
I could only facepalm while he explained himself, I got back to my room to put on a pair of old jeans, grab a coat and my wallet.
- Iāll be right back, okay?
- No problem, Iām actually going to bed now anyways so take your keys with you too. - I nodded him goodnight and left the apartment.
The night wasnāt too cold or too warm, but there was a fresh breeze that managed to calm me down a little, if that makes sense. I made my way to the small convenience store around the corner as fast as I could when I saw two male silhouettes at the other end of the street, when I got there I started looking for the corridor where the razors were.
- Can I help you? - I heard a familiar voice coming from the cashier and turned to look at itās owner.
Min Yoongi.
I stood there with no reaction for a second, but he seemed so calm that Iād feel bad if I took any longer to respond.
- A-actually not, but thank you. - he just gave me half a smile and nodded.
When I got to the corridor I was looking for I heard a cell phone ringing, I checked mine and nothing. It was Yoongiās, I observed from afar as he checked his screen with an unamused face and proceeded to throw it beside him after denying the call, annoyed. I resumed my shopping to disguise my spying, I decided to grab some ice tea as well and as soon as I walked to the fridges Minās cell phone rang once again. This time he picked up.
- What do you want? Iām working. - his voice tone was dry, he seemed slightly mad. - Well, thatās your problem, not mine. One of us has to earn money to bring food home in this shit, solve it yourself and let me out of this.
While he argued with whoever it was at the other side of the call I slowly made my way to the cashier, waiting for some eye contact from him to know if he could get me or not, I felt like it wasnāt a good time for interruptions now.
- Man, I gotta go. As I said, Iām working. - he responded a bit tense as soon as he saw me, then he hung up and tossed his phone aside once again. - Iām sorry for that.
- No problem. - I placed my things on the counter.
- Are you okay? You seem more tired than the last time we saw each other.
- I know Iām ugly without makeup, you donāt need to say it to my face. - I responded playfully to ease the atmosphere and earned a timid laugh from him.
- No, Iām serious. Are you okay?
Why does he make me feel like weāre very close friends?
- Yes I am, I think the tired face has my college work to blame. - he tells me the price of my things and I quickly pay him. - You havenāt been working here for too long, right?
- I got the job this week.
- Ohā¦ nice. I live by the end of this street.
- I know, I remember. - thatās when I realized the store was at the same corner he left me at that day.
For some reason I thought he would forget, based on the first impression I had of him, but the fact that he remembered made me feel good.
- I guess Iāllā¦ see you around again soon?
- Maybe, of course.
- Why maybe? - he slightly laughed and raised an eyebrow at me.
- Curious as always, I see.
I was about to mess with him a bit more - any excuse to stay there with him for a bit longer - when a young man that seemed to be a bit older than us ran inside the store.
- What are you doing here, Geum Jae? I told you to leave me out of this, fuck! - Yoongi snorted, his anger blowing up this time, which kinda scared me.
- Lilā bro, theyāre after me. For real, help me!
Lilā bro?
We heard voices approaching outside the store and Yoongi looked at me from head to toe with a worried look in his face.
- Fuck, come here hyung - he left his position on the cashier and ran to the main entrance, his brother following right behind. - Help me to lock it, fast!
They closed the glass doors with ease and locked them, but when they were about to pull down the inside lock the men arrived, I stood paralized at the same spot. They screamed a lot of threads, some of them had baseball bats with them and it just took the two Mins to unroll the steel door for the men to start using those bats against the glass.
Thatās when a weird adrenaline hit me and I ran to the scene to help, I was scared indeed but not enough to make me run to the opposite direction of what was happening. As soon as I got to the doors some of the man threw themselves at them, making it shake and Yoongi - that was crouched trying to lock us inside - scream in pain, throwing the padlock on the floor and holding his right hand tight.
- Step on the border! - I screamed at him as I did it myself, his brother replacing him on the floor, then he copied me. Geum Jae quickly closed the padlock and we stepped away from the doors just as quick.
I helped him to push one of the shelves to block the door even more in case the men were stronger than we thought they were, Yoongi ran to the first aid section and I went after him.
- Letās escape from the backdoor! - the older Min screamed.
- Thereās no backdoor here, asshole! And canāt you see I got hurt because of you? - Yoongi struggled to get everything he needed for a bandage with only one hand so I helped him.
- Then what do we do now?
- We call the cops.
After hearing that, the older one no longer seemed to be someone needing help as an angry expression consumed his features as he approached to grab his brother by the shoulders and shake him aggressively. Now Iām scared for real.
- Yoongi-ah! You know that if we call the cops Iām going to jail too.
- But thatās the point. - Yoongi stared at him quite calmly, a string of blood running down his hands.
Ā Geum Jae inhaled harshly and quickly raised his right arm, boosting it up and aiming his fist at his brotherās face.
- Hey! - his arm froze mid air and both of them looked at me. - Look, I donāt know whatās going on but Iām pretty sure that this wonāt solve anything. -I gestured my head towards his fist, as both my hands were occupied with first aid things.
They let go of each other and Geum Jae let out a sarcastic laugh.
- Whoās that, lilā bro? Your girlfriend?
- No hyung, sheās just another innocent person you just involved in your bullshit. And you know what? Iām tired of this shit!
Yoongi said as he walked to a narrow door at the back of the store and opened it, revealing a small bathroom. After that he grabbed a key chain and two packs of chips with his free hand, then turned back at us. By then the menās tries of getting in faded out a bit, we didnāt know what they could try next.
- Sun Hee, get in. - Wait, he knows my name?
- What are you doing? - Geum Jae asked.
- Cleaning my hands and hers, you do you.
- What do you mean, Yoongi? I have no idea of what just happened.- I said, lost.Ā
- Get in and Iāll explain. - he gestured to the bathroom. - And hyung, if these men manage to get in, the problem is yours only. When the cops get here youāll join them in jail because yāall got in so me and her hid in the bathroom.
- Are you fucking kidding me now?! - that scream was angrier than the others, it was all it took for me to run to Yoongi and do as he said.
- Youāre the one whoās been kidding me all this time by getting involved with these guys in the first place, but now fuck you! If you want to ruin your own life like that, go on your own because I wanna live, thank you very much! - and with that, he closed the bathroom door and locked us from the inside.
Yoongi stayed still for a moment resting his forehead on the door, both in silence.
- Is that why you told me it was better if I never saw you again? - I asked in a sad tone after I heard him sighing loudly. He breathes out a sad laugh and turns to look at me.
- Iām glad you remember it, because after weāre out of here thatās still valid. - I rolled my eyes and denied with my head.
- Come here, let me see your hand. - he raised an eyebrow. - I own you one, right? Two now, actually.
He surrendered and we sat on the floor of the ridiculous small bathroom.
- Can I use your phone to call the cops while you do that? - he asked while I examined his injured hand. - I forgot mine outside.
- Sure, here. - I unlocked my phone and handed it to him, but as soon as he started dialing the policeās numberā¦ the battery died.
Yoongi cursed under his breath and placed the device beside him on the floor, we couldnāt even call Jimin now. Or anyone else. But while I thought about the people who would miss us while weāre here I heard Min sniffing, when I look up at him I was a timid tear running down his cheek.
- Iām sorry, - he wiped the tear with his good hand. - I didnāt want you to see me like this.
I responded with a low āitās fineā out of habit but I was honestly speechless for a few seconds, I just observed him as I opened the antiseptic.
- Itās justā¦ this is all so hard to deal with, he wasnāt always like this. I just want my brother back. - his voice was trembling, changing the atmosphere completely.
What minutes ago was filled with adrenaline and fear, now hidden in the bathroom which Geum Jae surprisingly didnāt try to break in, the air became way more intimate and deep. After this whole movie scene, Yoongiās voice tone and body language made me feel like he was keeping this to himself for a very long time now, having no one he felt safe enough to hear him, but he had just let his guard down for me.
Perhaps was that weird feeling of intimacy I feel whenever Iām with himā¦ mutual?
- We live by ourselves, our parents wanted us to move to Seoul as soon as possible but never gave us any financial support at all. So after a few months working in part time jobs, my brother had enough and found those guys.
- And what are they, anyway? You told me you would explain. - I interacted, without taking my eyes off the bandage I was doing in his hand.
- So, - he threw his head back, lightly hitting the door, and stayed there for support. - I never wanted to find it all out, the less I know the better. It seemed like my brother would help them sell things theyād rob to keep part of the money, but that was just at the beginning.
- To explain that whole mess, do you think heās-
- Selling drugs? - I nodded, worried. - I donāt think, Iām sure. I found a bunch of it under our mattress last week.
- Holy fuckā¦ - I cursed under my breath, he let out a sarcastic laugh.
- You get it now why I told you that that day?
- Yoongiā¦ - I let his hand go, now with a neat made bandage.
- I donāt understand, you know? I know our parents donāt help us, but I want to at least make them proud someday. Even if it takes a very long time and I have to work everyday in as many part time jobs as I can, pay my college andā¦ be normal.
The more he said the more he lost strength to hold back his tears, I rested a hand over his shoulder when I heard him hiccuping mid sentence.
- Iām sorry, I-
I interrupted him with a hug, it took him a few seconds to hug me back, surprised. But then he cried a bit more on my shoulder, proving to me that the feeling I had that we were like close friends for years now was indeed mutual somehow. When his tears were over the subject of the talk proceeded to get lighter with time as we both calmed down, and between words and cheap chips we didnāt even notice time passing by as we waited for someone to show up.
Who knew thatās how the night would end.
āIāll never let you go, youāll never let me stayā
I finally made something for fanfiction writers to use as reference on things to avoid when writing. if you are making a reader-insert story, be sure as most people as possible can see themselves fufilling the role you want them to in your story.Ā
I became a POC fanfiction writer after years of feeling excluded in reader-insert fanfiction. Itās important as a job as a writer to know your audienceāsome of which may not always fit in yourĀ āviewā.
Please take the time to read this to help better yourself in the future. I know I didnāt hit every issue, but Iām willing to update it in the future.Ā
I apologize if this isnāt the prettiest thing, but it was important for me to create.
āI pretend Iām not anxious, but oh. Youāre driving me crazy.ā
- Demi Lovato
- No, Jimin! No fucking way youāre doing my makeup!
- Iāll choose your outfit then and you have to wear it. - he playfully said, making his way to my closet.
- In your dreams...
It was finally friday, the day of the party which Jimin almost begged on his knees for me to go. My colleague had let him join too, causing his excitement to practically triple the size today. I did my makeup while my best friend made a mess with my clothes, and me whole room too. I threatened him, saying Iād sleep in his bed when weāre back if he didnāt tided mine up before we go.
- Done. - I put the pinkish nude liquid lipstick back in the drawer, Jimin came up to see the results.
- Youāre kidding, right?
- What?
- This is just what you wear everyday, youāre no fun! - he reopened my drawer and started making a mess in there too.
- Hey! The partyās at Hoseokās, not here.
- Girl, you donāt have a single liquid eyeliner? - I snorted, annoyed, but lightly pushed his hand away and after going through the mess he made I gave him the only small flask of it that I had.
- Okay, come here. - he pointed to the only still available spot in my bed while opening the eye liner.
- No way, youāll make me look like Katy Perry in that ancient Egypt music video.
- Stop the drama, I promise Iāll make the thinnest line possible if you agree on wearing a darker lipstick.
- Our friendship has too many negotiations, donāt you think? Iām already going to this party because of you.
Jimin groaned in pain with his hand on his chest, acting up.
- That was mean. - wiped off fake tears. - Iām here being a nice friend, wishing to make you look pretty for a night out with your college pals and thatās how you treat me? - his pretend crying voice made me laugh, I canāt with this boy.
- What a cry baby! - I got up from my mirror and sat on the bed. - Iāll wear a darker lipstick then, but nothing redish.
- What about a short dress?
- No.
- Youāre no fun.
Half an hour later we were on our way to the party, I convinced Jimin on letting me wear a pair of jeans for comfort reasons, but I gave in to a cropped top he found in the back of the closet along with fishnet that showed above my pantsā waistband. It was a bit cold outside so I grabbed an oversized cardigan just in case, but Jimin just wore tight black jeans and a simple white shirt tucked in.
- You really showed up! - Moon Byul welcomed us by the door with one of the biggest smile Iāve seen on her. - Come on in, weāre all talking about Disney. Maybe Jimin will feel a bit lost, but you knowā¦ what do you expect when you get the Design and the Games classes together?
So this is the course that is doing the seminary with us, we laughed along as we followed her to the kitchen.
- Make yourselves at home, thereās alcohol but thereās some soda too. Get something and then joins us at the living room, okay?
As soon as she left Jimin attacked the first alcohol bottle he saw.
- Youāre that desperate? - I joked, opening the fridge to get a can of soda for me.
- Shut up. - he laughed as he made his drink, then he seems to look at something out of the kitchen. - Angel, in what course that Jungkook guy is?
- I donāt know, I didnāt ask yet.
- What? How can you not ask that?
- I donāt know either, maybe nervousness. But why you ask? - I opened my can, leaning my body on the kitchen corner, facing him.
- Because I think I just found it out for you. - Jimin pointed with his head towards the living room.
And when I turned 180 degrees to look, there he was. Jeon Jungkook, laughing with a pizza slice in his hand on the couch. All the anxiety I brushed off came back at once hitting me like a train, fuck. I look back at Jimin, who now had a naughty smile on his face.
- Noā¦
- Yes.
- No!
He finished making his drink and started pushing me not so gently towards the living room, almost making me pour my soda on the floor in the process.
- Wait, Iām seeing a mirage, right? - Yeonjun said when he saw me. - Sun Hee? In a party? - some of them laughed lightly, I already could feel Jungkookās gaze on me.
- Youāre so funny.
- And Jimin?
- I came along because or else your friend here would come at all. - Jimin mocked.
- At all? - I heard Jungkook ask with a low voice and finally looked at him, he seemed upset, thanks for nothing Jimin.
- Sure, it was only because of me and not the filled cup in your hand, of course! This knucklehead canāt even think about alcohol without wanting to drink it right away. - I mocked him back, winning some laughs.
- And youāll stick with soda only? - Yeonjun asked.
- Iād reather too, already make too much mess while drunk so now I stay away.
- Ohā¦ whatās up with that? Let us know the stor-
- She doesnāt like talking about it, - Jimin interrupted while sitting in an available armchair, he knows how this topic makes me uncomfortable. - now pass me a slice of pepperoni, please?
To my relief no one insisted and the previous subject was resumed, I noticed there was no available seat for me so I stayed standing beside Jiminās armchair, but Jungkook soon noticed it and waved at me.
- Come here, Iāll seat on the sofa arm. - he got up and gave his spot on the couch to me, I thanked him and sat down. He sat on the sofa arm as he said, his thighs now being dangerously close to my face.
Since Jiminās arm chair was perpendicular to the couch it was easy for us share eye contact, and obviously he has a naughty smile on at the moment. I rolled my eyes and reached out for a slice of pizza myself.
- Oh no! Donāt you guys talk about Coraline!
- Why not, Hoseok? That movie is amazing. - Yeonjun said.
- It scares me to death, when I watched it the first time I spent a whole week having nightmares about the āOther Momā. - everyone laughed at the hostās story.
- If someone I know happened to be afraid of stop motion, it had to be you, Hoseok. - Jungkook made fun of Hobi as he leaned more and more on the back of the sofa, almost laying down behind my head.
I looked at Jimin, who raised an eyebrow suggestively at me before staring at the thighs of the brunette beside me. I gave him a questioning look, he laughed and then gave his pizza slice an exaggerated bite while looking at Jungkookās thighs once again but with wide eyes this time, I had to hold back a good laugh but also became red in the face right away. At least him making me laugh helped me to relax once again.
- Sun Hee, why are you red? - Yeonjun provoked.
I spoke too soon.
- A-ah, I donāt know, am I? - I disguised it, putting a hand on my forehead as if measuring my own temperature. - I must be hot.
- Wanna go out take some fresh air? Iāll go with you. - Jungkook offered, worried.
Yeonjun growled suggestively, but Jimin had my back again and I decided to follow Jungkook despite being nervous as never before.
As soon as we walked out the glass door that took us to the backyard I regret leaving my coat at the kitchen, I donāt know if it was actually cold or if I was just anxious about being alone with Jungkook.
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah. Iām just really not used to coming to parties.
- I see, me neither to be honest.
- But you seemed to be having fun, or was you trying to find a way to talk to me by any chance? - I provoked, bringing back the day we met. He laughed, staring at the tiles on the ground.
- Maybe, was I too obvious? - I joined his light laughs, nodding my head exaggeratedly, playful. - But Iām really not much into parties indeed, I came tonight for them. They embraced me nicely since I moved here so I thought it would be impolite to refuse, itās for sure fun sometimes but not usually my first plan.
We found a wood bench in the backyard and stayed sitting there for a while, talking about a few random subjects. Through text he was more shy, face to face he could go deeper with more freedom, it was cute how his eyes shined while we talked about the reason we choose our courses. He gestured around with his hands a lot, couldnāt stay in the same position for more than five seconds, checking my reaction at each detail he described. Everything sounded too personal, and he was trusting me to tell.
He looks gorgeous like that.
For a moment I imagined him talking like that about me, thought that made me smile and my heart race.
- You must think Iām crazy, youāre not saying a word. - he laughed slightly.
- Of course not, silly! Quite the opposite, I love listening to people talk about what they love. Iām just paying attention.
He smiled widely to me, thankful. Then offered to go get us something to drink, I volunteered to go with him but he insisted that I should wait. I took that time to think, I was very comfortable there with him, Iām not used to it but I like the feeling. Yeah, I think I really do like him.
- Theyāre playing truth or dare back inside, wanna join? - Jeon mocked, coming back with our drinks.
- Oh God, no way! - I laughed nervously, thanking him for the soda and taking a generous sip of it.
- Why? Bad nostalgia from high school? - he took his seat back beside me.
- I wish it was just it.
- Does it have to do with the incident you mentioned earlier? - I nodded.
- I had just turned eighteen and...
- You donāt need to tell me if youāre not comfortable with it, Sun Hee. - he interrupted.
- But I amā¦ very comfortable, actually.
We locked eyes for a few seconds, the longest as I could look in his eyes without getting all red again.
- I had just turned eighteen and Jimin took me to a club to celebrate, we didnāt have many friends at school so it was just the two of us. I ended up drinking too much and he winged me for a guy, I lost my virginity and I donāt remember a single detail about how it was. - Jungkook was looking gently at me, paying attention. - I know it sounds stupid, but hook ups donāt make sense to me. So this episode haunted me for a long while, giving myself to a stranger just for the sake of getting laid, you know?
I felt Jungkookās hand take hold of mine, caressing it lightly.
- Itās okay, I mean, to regret doing it. But it was experience that taught you something about yourself, if you hadnāt gone through this you wouldnāt know you donāt like it, right? - he smiled, I never thought about it that way.
- Thank you, Jungkook. For real.
- To be honest I also learned something similar in the worst way. - he lowered his head and it was my turn to caress his hand, encouraging him to open up to me once again that night. - I had a girlfriend once, we dated for eight months. We met at one of the few clubs I went my whole life too, where we hooked up and got each otherās numbers.
I smiled sadly at the fact that both our stories had in common.
- I donāt like hook ups as much as you, but back then I was experimenting indeed and it happened. The first months were very nice, enough to kill the need, you know? But I guess I got attached, I still donāt know exactly what it was, actually. - I tilted my head, confused.
- What do you mean?
- I think it depends on who it is, some people I just feel like hooking up but I donāt see me dating them, and vice versa. After some time we started fighting all the time because she wanted to go to clubs again, but I was over that phase because since we were together I had no reason to go. I told her that and she asked for a break, I went out the next weekend and found her hooking up with someone else. I lost feelings for her right there instantly and called her the next day ending things for once.
- Damn, right away like that?
- Yes, I was as confused as you now back then. I was so attached to her, but it seems like as soon as I saw it wasnāt mutual it was like I had flipped a switch inside me and I felt a awful feeling of emptiness for a while after that.
- Damn, Jeon. I never heard anything like this before, but I think itās just how your body works, thereās nothing wrong with you. - we were sitting very close by now, approaching each other both physically and emotionally while we talked.
- I know, nowadays I deeply analyze what I feel before I get involved with someone. - I looked at him with one of my eyebrows raised.
- Was that supposed to be a move? - he laughed and turned to face me.
- If thatās how you saw it, maybe.
We locked eyes one more time, Jungkook changed his gaze from my eyes to my lips, what made me almost freak out. So I diverted my eyes and took a deep breath, disguising what my body felt.
- Thank you. - I let out quickly. - For making me feel safe to open up to you, and for trusting me to open up too.
- What? Sun Hee, no need to thank me. But if thatās the case, thank you too.
We locked eyes again, but this time our faces were even closed than before. His hot breath hit my face lightly, contrasting with the cold air of that night and sending a small shiver down my spine. I couldnāt help from changing my gaze to his lips as well.
Guess I already resisted for too long, right?
It wasnāt an intense kiss, but it was what we needed at the moment. It was delicate, almost like an ask for permission which both our racing hearts were enough to answer in sync.
- Sun Hee, are you free next saturday?
āDonāt even know where weāre going, you make me live in the moment. Keep driving us, baby.ā
āWell then why canāt I go home without somebody?ā
- Halsey
- Butter to my cup, wake up!
- Five more minutesā¦ - I mumbled.
- No way miss, Iām not leaving without you but I also donāt wanna be late because of you. My first class is with Mrs Oh and I have self love, okay?
Park Jimin, my best friend ever since high school and room mate since we graduated and entered college. At the same time we have a lot in common we also can be opposites somehow, from our courses, Design for me and Tourism for him, to our sexual and love lives.
While Iām straight and demisexual heās bi and demi romantic, I can count on my fingers how many people I had a thing and he lost the count after seventeen a few years ago, because he rarely gets attached to his hook ups, but I only feel sexually attracted to someone if thereās a emotional connection first. So much that for me to lose my virginity it costed a lot of Jiminās efford at a club and a lot of money from my wallet used on soju so it could actually happen, I woke up at the guyās apartment bathroom without a single memory of the previous nightā¦ a complete mess.
- Is there pudim left?
- Youāre not gonna eat pudim as breakfast. Firstly because it wonāt do good for your empty stomach, and also I already ate the last piece.
- I hate you. - I snorted while getting up from my bed to get ready.
- I love you too.
Class wasnāt truly boring but I couldnāt pay attention at all at the teacherās explanation of the so said seminary weād do together with another course next month, texting Jimin is the only way for me not to fall asleep, I can ask about the seminary to a colleague later. Ever since I answered Jungkookās phone call two days ago Jimin wonāt leave me alone about him, he can be more annoying than my mom about men sometimes.
Jimin has for sure way more love experiences than me, every lesson he learns I end up learning too because at the same time he just wants to see me happy with someone someday he also doesnāt want me to get hurt. He already can deal with break ups and cheaters very well, but know that because of my sub sexuality I wouldn't be able to process that with the same facility. So every time a possible suitor shows up he becomes FBI to find out everything about the guy for me, thatās why, by the way, I havenāt told him about Yoongi yet.
As I remember him, right after Jimin said bye through text claiming the so said Mrs Oh had lectured him about being on the phone, I decided to stalk Yoongi myself and to my surpriseā¦ nothing. No social media accounts, no news about him, absolutely nothing about the Min Yoongi who has saved me from a drunk harasser at the subway.
- Pst, Sun Hee! - my classmate interrupted my thoughts. I looked at her, raising my eyebrows to encourage her to continue. - Are you free this friday?
- It depends, why?
- It always depends for you, right? - she giggled, - Itās because our class representant talked to the representant of the course that will be doing the seminary with us and they thought it would be nice to throw a small party for all of us to get to know each other better. - I wrinkled my nose.
- Oh Moon Byul, you know how I am when itās about parties and-
- Please, Sun Hee! Itās not gonna be anything crazy, weāll just get together to eat some pizza and drink a little. Please, at least say youāll think about it.
- Right. Iāll just think about it. I wonāt promise anything.
When monings classes were over, me and Jimin went out to eat.
- Youāre going.
- No, Iām not.
- Yes, you are!
- Jimin! Stop! - I regret a bit for screaming when I see a few people turning their attention to us at the snack shop.
- Girl, when was that last party? - the one I got drunk to lose my virginity, itās been almost two years now, but I didnāt answer it out loud. - Someday youāll have to face this fear, and it will do you good to go out for once, specially after that history assignment you spent three day in a roll writing last week.
Indeed, that assignment was hell. But Iām not convinced yet.
- Babeā¦ want me to go with you? I promise I wonāt leave your side at any minute.
- I donāt know if you can, itās a reunion just for the courses that will participate the seminary of Midiatic Entertainment that I told you about.
- Ask your friend, tell her youāll go only if I go too, you wonāt be lying. - I laughed lightly. - But then youāll have to actually go if she agrees.
- Oh God, fine. - while I was texting Moon Byul, I see a group of boys walking the same shop we were, among them was Jungkook. - Jimin! - I whisper shout at him and moved closer, leaving him confused and a bit scared. - There, white shirt, the boy in the bus I told you about.
- Where? - he turned his head abruptly at the boysā direction, drawing attention from people.
I facepalm, ashamed.
- Wow friend, youāre so discrete, thank you so much. - I said sarcastically.
- Holy shit girl, heās such a hottie! -he turned his head abruptly again at me and whisper shouted back, ignoring me completely. His facial expressions not a single bit held back.
I uncovered my face from my hand and noticed Jungkookās gaze on us, still embarrassed I waved at him. He smiled at me and waved back, kept his eyes on me for a moment more before turning back to his friends who were talking about the menu. Jimin followed every move we made with his eyes and head, still astonished.
- Can you please stop doing that?!
- Girl you need to keep this man, for Godās sake! If you donāt, I will!
- If you keep being inconvenient like that it will ruin my chances, are you doing this on purpose?
- Okay, sorry, Iāll stop. - he tried to be serious, frozen in his chair with a nervous expression.
- ā¦ Relax!
- Okay, done. - he dropped his tense shoulders all at once, making me laugh for real this time.
- Moon Byul replied, she said you can go.
- Letās go for it then.
- Iām not hooking up with anyone there, just saying. - I provoked.
- Oh! Come on! - I laughed at his frustration.
I love this knucklehead.
āInfatuationās observation with a cause, but none of it is loveā
āI want a boyfriend, tell me, are there any good ones left?ā
- Selena Gomez
I never dated, but you know...
When it comes to relationships Iāve always wanted two things: safety and spontaneity. You know that guy who doesnāt give the idea that your relationship is a āeach otherās halfā thing, but instead, youāre two already complete people that are together? That guy.
But adrenaline is also good, specially when you work with Digital Design like me, spending the whole day in front of a computer screen can be mentally exhausting and definitely not physically healthy, so imagine that guy with also a few time gaps here and there for surprise dates, or a little scape from both your workās stress to the beach likeā¦ on a random wednesday.
So delusional, when and where can you find all that on only one guy? I had to live in my skin to find out how impossible it is.
Jeon Jungkook, I met him in the bus on my way to college one morning, it was full and I was trying to at least stay near a window so I wouldnāt suffocate. He was leaning on the wall, holding onto one of the ceiling handles looking at nowhere specific and with his earphones on. I remember asking gently for him to open the window, he looked at me wide eyed, not expecting someone to talk to him, then did what I asked and I said thank you.
Silence made us company for long minutes and I stayed there trying to keep my balance, but it was hard with the driver hitting the brake every five minutes and with this hottie standing right in front of me. Until one of the brakes were sharper than usual making someone behind me step on my heels, what caused me to jump forward and thatās how I practically fell on top of him.
- Iām sorryā¦ - I said embarrassed, he had held me by the waist by impulse.
- Itās okay, I was trying to find a way to talk to you anyway, I just didnāt know how.
My heart almost skipped a beat.
- Oh really? - I laughed nervously - The universe gave you a little help then? - He smiled widely and looked at the ground, finally realising he hadnāt let go of my waist yet and then he did.
We found out we studied in the same uni, he had just transfered from another city. We talked about various things, he admitted he wanted to talk to me because he saw my Overwatch pin on my bag, the instant connection was undeniable. We got off the bus together and before parting ways in front of the uni he asked for my number, he was a sweetheart and I really wanted to see him again.
And later that day I was on my way to take the subway home, it was almost 10pm. I spent the day in the college library doing every homework I could so I could have the weekend free in case me and Jungkook end up planning something, you never know.
The station was practically empty, it was very late and I couldnāt help but feel scared, specially when I saw a middle aged man coming down the stairs and barely being able to walk my way.
- Hello little ladyā¦ what is someone so pretty like you doing alone here this late?
I could smell the alcohol from where I was and his tangled voice tone gave up his drunkenness, my heartbeat sped up by thinking of what could happen next. I was about to answer him when someone behind me that I didnāt notice before spoke first.
- Sheās going home and Iāll make sure nothing more than that will happen.
- Oh, your heartthrob boyfriend came to save you? - the man mocked looking back at me, I was about to speak again when the guy approached me without taking his eyes off the drunk head and laid his arm around my shoulders and answered.
- Yes he did, got a problem with that?
- Drop it off, kiddo, I offered her my company first and if you were really her boyfriend then she wouldnāt be here alon-
- Unfortunately Iām late because I was closing the store I work at, - he interrupted the man and turned to look at me. - Iām sorry, baby, you know how my boss acts when heās in a bad mood.
Confused and a bit scared with two strangers fighting for my attention, took me a while to process the fact that the younger man was trying to help and wanted me to act it up with him. So soon as his arm came down from my shoulders to my waist pulling me gently closer, the shock caused by this action helped me to finally make my voice come out.
- O-ohā¦ yeah I know, I could guess it was why youāre late. No problem, b-baby. - the drunk man didnāt seem to be buying it, but he stayed silent this time.
- Which line you get to go home, sir? - the guy asked, still holding me close to him.
- The next one, I need a showerā¦ and more soju.
- I have to agree, with the first part only. - he talked to the man like nothing happened. - How about you, which line? - he whispered in my ear, giving me another small jumpscare.
- The next one too. - I whispered back.
- Iāll take you home then, I donāt trustā¦ - he gestured his head towards the drunk man carefully. - And step up your acting game or else he wonāt buy it at all.
The way home felt longer than usual, the man made sure to stay close to observe us the whole trip. At each stop he didnāt got off I sighed again and again, I didnāt know the guyās name but I guess he felt how uncomfortable I was and decided to start small couple conversations to get me distracted and also keep fooling the man. āHow was your day?ā or āHowās work?ā were the base, we tried to create our characters as best as we could without sounding fake, it was actually funny besides everything else.
When we arrived at my stop I got up followed by him, who took my hand in his as we got off, leaving the man behind. Finally out of his sight I took my time to think about what just happened, how many of us women go through this every day is scary.
- You really did like to hold my hand, huh?
I let go of his hand as soon as he said that, making him laugh lightly. Itās sad to think that we need help from another man to take us out of situations like this, but what could I do? Being thankful is all I have left now.
- No need to thank me, I hate these kind of dude. - he said as if he could read my mind. - If heās needy then drink at home while watching some porn, thereās no reason to be bothering people like that, right?
I nodded my head, still retracted.
- Thatās what I doā¦ - WHAT? - Hahah your face! - he broke down laughing in the middle of the street. - Iām just kidding, I thought it would help you relax a bit.
- Iām sorry, I canāt relax so quick after everything that just happened back there. - I finally answered vocally.
- My bad, for real. - he stretched his torso and then shoved his hands in his pockets, relaxed. -Let me know when we get to your street, Iāll leave you at the corner, no need to know where you live.
I agreed and we kept walking, now silently. Why do I feel like I wouldāve told him where I live without hesitating if he asked? Heās a stranger after all, I must be insane.
- Weāre here, - I stopped walking when we got to my street, like asked earlier. - Thanks, again.
- No problem, good night.
So he just turned the opposite way and walked.
- Hey! - I donāt know where the courage came from, but I didnāt know his name. - Wait!
He stopped with his back still facing me and threw his head back with a sigh before slowly turning to face me, without a word. Why does this vibe of his makes me so curious?
- Whatās your name?
- You donāt need to know.
- But I want to, I own you one now. - he chuckled.
- Itās Yoongi, Min Yoongi.
- Okay, Min yoongi. When will I see you again?
- If youāre lucky, never. And you donāt need to make it up for earlier.
- But I want toā¦ - he raised one of his eyebrows and smiled lightly, then nodded his head and left.
As soon as I got home, my phone rang. Itās Jungkook.
āThere's a difference between a want and a need.ā
Jungkook gives her safety, is down to earth and remains as stable as possible at all times, but he doesn't make her heart flutter as much as she would like.
Yoongi on the other hand, arouses her deepest curiosity, but she knows that when sheās with him there is no guarantee of anything ever.
This is Sun Hee's dilemma, having to reconcile her desires with college and social life, which of the two would give her what she seeks and also fit in her own individual plans?
Summary:Ā Of all the possible ways in which your connection with your soulmate couldāve manifests, such as birthmarks or dreams, you and your person share physical pain. It would be enough for the two of you to want to get to know each other soon, the problem is that you are the most clumsy person Hoseok doesnāt know yet, and all he wants is to find you and protect you from the world.
Pairing: Soulmate!au Hoseok x Reader.
Genre: Fluff, ANGST
Words:Ā 5781
Warnings: I dont really know if this is a warning or not but the is description of pain and injury, some of them are kind ofā¦ bad. Sorry.
I just wanted to leave this here, this boy is too precious to this world... he's hiding something behind those watery eyes right there but at the same time letting it out through his voice and body ā” the emotion is real and I shall take care of this soft baby with all I have, all I am and shower him with my love until the end of my days
Hey, Iām back with another emotional personal story lol
Iām not the girl in the story but I was thinking about self love the other day and created her
If you relate to what she goes through, search for help :/ you donāt need to deal with this on your own
My message box is there if you need too :3 Iām not great help but if you need someone to talk to Iām a good listener ^^
Enjoy \o/
~ gif is not mine ~
Word count: 318
āWhoās that girl?ā Everyone would ask as she passes by, light red fabric gracefully swinging in the wind. But what nobody knows is how many tears the girl shed, as her dress catches everyoneās attention no one sees her watery eyes.
The dress made her feel confident, even pretty I would say. But thatās literally all, she would wear it everyday she dared to go out her apartment though, couldnāt go out in any other outfit. And maybe thatās the problem.
When she gets her order at the coffee shop she bumps into a cute guy as she turns around, apologizing repeatedly. The guy, enchanted by the girlās beauty only herself couldnāt see, asked for her phone number. She hesitated, didnāt want to give it to him, didnāt think she was good enough, but no one knew about it. After the guyās insist she forced a smile and gave him her number, before running home right after.
She took off the dress and stared at her semi nude body in the mirror, her confidence dropping along with the piece of clothing on the ground. Tears started running down her cheeks as she realized the hurtful truth, she was nothing without the dress. Her phone beeped, the guy from earlier texted, but she just know she wonāt answer. Sheās too weak for that.
Crouching in the shower floor, sobbing, she remembers of when she bought the dress. It was when she broke up from a abusive relationship, it was supposed to mean the beginning of a new her, a new phase of her life. It was supposed to mean that now she loved herself again, after everything that douchebag did to her.
But whenever she takes the dress off at the end of the day, she knows. It doesnāt look like it when you see her powerfully walking around in that red dress...
Her bag fell on the ground with a loud thud, a deep breath coming out of her lungs.
She longed for this for a long time now, being alone. Changing her daily routine and cleaning her head, and now she finally had the chance to do so.
The hotel room was simple, but cozy. It would do what she needed to cool her mind down from her daily stress and anxiety, keep her away from work, family and friends at least for 24 hours.
During that day she first ordered lunch, God bless hotel food. After that she started the process of self freeing from everything keeping her trapped inside herself, beginning with putting jammies onā¦ At 1pm. Yes.
Then she turned up the radio, she listened to all types of songs she had on her playlist. She cried with the sad ones she related to, danced through the room and jumped on the bed with the happy ones and passionately sang the romantic ones as if she was deeply in love with no one. Lived each emotion every song proportionates at its very extreme, getting all out of her chest where she kept them for way too long.
Later, she decided to make an old princess dream come true. Asked for dinner and champagne just to eat and drink it in the bathtub, in which she used her favorite bath bomb she bought earlier. She did so while watching random not popular at all tv channels, pretending to be interest on what itās talking about just to fill her mind a bit with a few nothings.
When it was past midnight she was still awake, rewatching some of her favorite shows before going to sleep just to awake far after 1pm. Treasuring her long sleep, since thereās no idea of when sheāll get this chance again as her body is buried in the sheets.
Then, when she finally wakes up sheāll just grab something to eat at the cafeteria after saying her goodbyes to the room and to the weight she took out of her back and left there. Back to normal routine now, thank you.
